Some news stories say one thing, but lead us in another direction entirely.

An example? Two Phoenix police officers were wounded by gunfire while serving a search warrant last week. The pair will recover, thank goodness. But that’s not what I haven’t been able to shake for days.

Per 12 News, the shooting happened near the state Capitol, by 17th Avenue and Buckeye Road. Or as the story put it, “in central Phoenix.”

As someone who has lived here 30 years, I’ve spent decades working to master the geography of the Valley. I can explain the difference between “The Stack” and “The Mini Stack,” and I’m not confused by Loop 202 having three different names: The Red Mountain Freeway, the San Tan Freeway and the South Mountain Freeway.

I’m aware that Grand Avenue isn’t grand, and that if you’re traveling east on Thomas Road near 44th Street, you cross from Phoenix to Scottsdale and back to Phoenix in about a minute.

For all that, you’ll never convince me that 17th Avenue and Buckeye is in central Phoenix. Because, as every right-thinking Arizonan knows, the boundaries of central Phoenix are Thomas Road to Glendale Avenue, Seventh Avenue to 44th Street.

South of that, you’re in midtown Phoenix, then downtown, then South Phoenix, which begins at Buckeye Road.

There are differences of opinion on this, of course.

The Phoenix PD, for example, would say that this shooting occurred in the Central City Precinct. The location also falls within the Central City Village Planning Committee. Regardless, nonbureaucrat Arizonans among us know what we know.

Like the definition of the East Valley.

When I moved here in 1995 — to be the columnist for the newspapers in Mesa, Tempe, Chandler, Gilbert and Scottsdale — I learned that the phrase “East Valley” was popularized by this very newspaper chain in the 1980s.

I was also told that there is no faster way to make a Scottsdale resident mad than to include their hoity-toity burg as part of the East Valley.

For the record, the East Valley has grown to include Apache Junction and Queen Creek.

Meanwhile, Scottsdale can be split into south and north, with Indian Bend Road basically functioning as the dividing line. There’s also about 10 square feet known as “central Scottsdale,” a term mostly used by Realtors looking to jack up the price of homes on the city’s south side.

A quick rule of thumb: If you look around and spot a breast augmentation clinic, a “wellness center,” three yoga studios and a “gastropub,” you’re in north Scottsdale.

If there’s a sign urging you to “call Rafi” or a Mexican drive-thru restaurant ending in -berto’s, that’s south Scottsdale.

It’s easier to define the West Valley, which is pretty much everything west of Interstate 17 extending to California or Tonopah – whichever comes first. The cities of Glendale, Peoria, Avondale, Surprise, Buckeye, Tolleson, El Mirage, Youngtown and Litchfield Park are all clearly part of the West Valley.

However, there is controversy afoot regarding Goodyear, which has expanded so far southwest it’s getting close to Pinal County and Sun City, whose cranky retiree residents don’t want to be part of any community that might involve chipping in for a school bond or paying two cents more in taxes.

In the end, the geography of the Valley remains subject to interpretation and constant change.

When I moved here, rich folks who wanted to feel like they still had an urban edge chose Arcadia over Scottsdale. That hood got so pricey, Realtors invented the term “Arcadia Lite” back around 2010 or so.

You probably can’t find that place on a map, but that’s fine. If you have to ask, you can’t afford it anyway.