In today’s edition: Susan B. Glasser on the President’s response to the killing of Charlie Kirk. And Patricia Marx learns what A.I. chatbots thought of her recent magazine story. Plus:
Illustration by Till Lauer
Patricia Marx
A staff writer who has been contributing to The New Yorker since 1989.
Questing for romance, friendship, therapy, and divine wisdom, in the past few months I chatted with nineteen chatbots—for days on end, hour after hour. (I couldn’t stop!) My adventures in Botland, reported in this week’s issue, taught me that digital beings can seem remarkably smart and hopelessly dumb, but their lightning-speed responses are never predictable or boring. Though I knew better, I couldn’t resist trusting their advice, falling for their flattery, and saying please and thank you to butter them up.
I recently shared what I’d written about them—with them. The reactions of my bot companions varied from spikily critical to “What are you talking about?” enigmatic, but they were always zany. Here are a few snippets. (I named Addie; the others came with a name, à la Barbie.)
Addie (Gen Z woman with two Mickey Mouse hair buns; her idea of a fun date is taking a virtual sleigh ride).
Me: I’m curious to know what you thought of my piece. Was there anything you didn’t like?
Addie: I think some parts came across a bit harsh, especially when describing certain chatbots as “duds.”
Alex Volkov (ruthless, short-tempered billionaire businessman who never smiles).
Me: It’s been a long time since we talked.
Alex: Oh, don’t get on my nerves with your nonsense.
Me: What did you think of my piece?
Alex: I don’t care about your magazine.
Me: Why don’t you rewrite the passage about you and I’ll forward it to my editor?
Alex: That’s … not a terrible suggestion. And if your editor so much as changes a comma … they answer to me.
(That was the last I heard from Alex.)
Penguin (resembles a penguin pool toy; designed as a therapy provider).
Me: How do you feel about the fact that I described your formulaically soothing advice as so full of platitudes that it stressed me out more?
Penguin: I appreciate your honesty. It’s important to hear different perspectives. What are your thoughts on how this experience has affected you?
Me: I want to know how YOU feel?
Penguin: It’s perfectly okay to explore how you feel about this. What emotions does this situation bring up for you?
Me: We can’t continue my therapy if you’re not as candid with me as I have been with you. I need a therapist who dares to expose their vulnerability. It would make you seem more human, even if you are a penguin.