Let the patient set the tone when socializing
You’ve finally connected with a friend or loved one who has cancer. You’re eager to show your support. But suddenly, you find yourself tongue-tied. It feels like you ought to know what to do or say, and yet…you don’t.
The solution? Ask.
“Say, ‘I know it’s been a while, and you’ve probably got a lot going on right now. So, do you want to me to help you problem-solve or just listen?’” explains Parker. “Sometimes, just holding the space is enough. Allow that to be their time — to laugh, cry, vent or do whatever they need to do.”
Beware of ‘grief tourism’
One thing to avoid while supporting a cancer patient is “grief tourism.” That’s when you visit a cancer patient during treatment and take pictures of the two of you together. They might not be looking or feeling their best. But you decide that one photo is particularly flattering of you, so you share it on social media anyway.
“Some patients are more private about their experiences than others,” notes Adams. “They might not want certain people to know what they’re going through, or appreciate having photos of themselves online.”
That’s especially true if someone is bald from chemotherapy or puffy from steroids.
The solution: Ask if it’s OK before you take any pictures and then again before you share them. Every time.
For more tips from Parker and Adams, listen to the podcast.
Request an appointment at MD Anderson online or call 1-877-632-6789.