Have you had enough predictions yet? It’s possible, given just about everyone who covers this league has spent the last few weeks trying to tell you what’s about to happen. We even gave you a chance, in the annual reader contest, and if you haven’t entered yet please get in there now. Everyone is putting their predictions out there.

Just not like this. It’s time to get oddly specific.

This is one of my favorite annual columns, in which I try way too hard to get way too specific about predictions that are way too unlikely. Do they ever come true? Sure, sometimes. And when they do, I never shut up about it. We won’t worry about what happens the other 99 percent of the time.

So let’s do this. We’ve got 32 teams, and 32 predictions to get through. This is your final spoiler warning: Don’t read any further if you want to be surprised.

Anaheim Ducks

I already said I think they’re making the playoffs, which is a bold prediction but not especially specific. So let’s go with something even more outlandish, but which will probably have to happen for the first prediction to come true: In his first season as an undisputed starter, Lukas Dostal gets multiple Hart votes.

Boston Bruins

Here’s a weird fact I found while researching this piece: Last year’s Bruins had more goals scored on penalty shots (one) than they did successful shootout attempts (zero). I have no idea what to do with this information, other than to say the Bruins will go to a shootout in Wednesday’s opener against the Washington Capitals, and they’ll score on their first attempt.

Buffalo Sabres

Remember when Team USA didn’t pick Tage Thompson for the 4 Nations because they figured they had enough offense, then fell one goal shy of beating Canada? That was cool. Anyway, Thompson won’t just make the Olympic team, he’s scoring an overtime goal when he’s there.

Tage Thompson won a gold medal with Team USA at the World Championship this spring. (Claus Fisker / Ritzau Scanpix / AFP via Getty Images)

Calgary Flames

Can we just take a minute to recognize Oddly Specific Prediction first-ballot Hall of Famer Joel Hanley, who posted career highs in goals and points last year? OK, sure, he had two goals and nine points. That’s not bad for a defensive defenseman whose whole thing used to be never scoring at all. In fact, let’s get completely crazy and predict that Hanley goes absolutely haywire this year to the tune of … three goals! And he’ll divide them up nicely, scoring one in October/November, one in December/January and one the rest of the way.

Carolina Hurricanes

Sergei Fedorov is (finally) getting his number retired in Detroit on Jan. 12. That’s a fun choice, since it’s the night that sees the Wings face the Hurricanes, the team Fedorov signed an ultimately unsuccessful offer sheet with in 1998. Let’s lean into the irony here and say the winning goal that night will be scored by another failed offer-sheet signer, Sebastian Aho.

Chicago Blackhawks

Connor Bedard came into the league with the hype of an elite goal-scorer. While he’s shown some flashes, he’s yet to post a hat trick in his NHL career. That won’t last long, because he’ll do it twice in the first month of the season.

Colorado Avalanche

There aren’t a lot of items left on the list of things Nathan MacKinnon hasn’t been able to accomplish in the NHL, but here’s one: He’s never scored on a penalty shot. He’s oh-for-three and hasn’t even had an attempt since 2021. Needless to say, I’m bringing this up because he’s getting one this year.

Columbus Blue Jackets

It’s an annual tradition that never, ever hits, and we’re doing it again. Let’s make the Blue Jackets our pick for the team that’s all over the place in preseason predictions and ends up frustrating everyone by finishing with the exact same number of points as last year.

Dallas Stars

Is this the year that they finally make it past the conference final? Well, if they can’t manage it this year with both the Norris and Vezina winners on the roster, they may never do it.

Detroit Red Wings

Patrick Kane comes into the season only 31 points away from tying Mike Modano for most career points by a U.S.-born player, and 48 points back of Brett Hull for the most by an “American” player. He’s got a good chance to hit both marks, but we’re going to go with something far less likely. Did you know that of his 1,343 points, only one has come short-handed? That was an assist back in 2009, meaning one of the most dynamic forwards of his generation has played 18 NHL seasons without ever scoring a short-handed goal. It’s going to be tough ask for a guy who never kills penalties, but I’m saying he gets one this year. (And if that goal also breaks one of the scoring records, I’ll retire this column permanently.) 

Edmonton Oilers

I had Connor McDavid’s extension nailed exactly, but unfortunately he jumped the gun and signed it a day before this column ran. Pretty selfish, if you ask me. Ah well, let’s go with a different McDavid prediction, as he and Leon Draisaitl combine to score exactly 100 goals.

Florida Panthers

We won’t have to wait long for Brad Marchand’s return to Boston, which comes on Oct. 21. And fans in Boston that night won’t have to wait long to see him get on the scoresheet … because he’ll take the game’s first penalty.

Brad Marchand’s return to Boston as a Florida Panther will be emotional after winning a Stanley Cup. (Steph Chambers / Getty Images)

Los Angeles Kings

It’s always a little grim, but we need a “first coach fired” pick and Jim Hiller would seem to fit the bill. That’s especially true given a very tough early schedule, which sees the Kings open with seven of eight games against teams that made the playoffs last season, including the Avs, Knights, Stars, and Hurricanes. Let’s say Hiller gets the pink slip on Oct. 24, just in time for the new guy to get a chance to hit the ground running against the Predators, Hawks and Sharks.

Minnesota Wild

The good news is that they’ll make the playoffs. The bad news is that, for the ninth straight time, they’ll be one-and-done with a first-round loss. The even worse news is that they’ll be this year’s Ultimate Loser, which is to say the team that loses to the team that loses to the team that loses to the team that loses to the team that wins the Cup.

Montreal Canadiens

The list of Russian players who’ve cracked the 25-goal mark as a rookie is a fun one, including names like Alex Ovechkin, Pavel Bure and Kirill Kaprizov, but also Sergei Berezin and Evgeny Davydov. Can Ivan Demidov join the list? Yes, and it comes against Nikita Kucherov and the Lightning.

Nashville Predators

Among the long list of things that went wrong for the Predators last year, they were one of only four teams to go the entire season without scoring a five-on-three goal – and their 8:24 with a double-man advantage was more than twice any of those other teams. This year, they break the curse early, scoring on their first five-on-three of the season. Steven Stamkos gets the goal, if you’re wondering.

New Jersey Devils

There are two things that are true about the Oddly Specific Predictions world: We love Jacob Markström, and we’ve been trying and failing to correctly predict a goalie goal for nearly a decade. Let’s kill two birds with one stone and predict that our old pal Markström shoots and scores this year. OK, sure, I know he’s not a great puckhandler, but maybe we could have him do some reps with the EVP of hockey ops.

New York Islanders

They were one of only two teams in the league to go all of last season without taking a single misconduct penalty, which doesn’t feel very on-brand for a Patrick Roy team. We’ve had some luck on misconduct predictions before, so let’s try again: The Islanders get a ten-minute call on Nov. 8, in their first visit to Madison Square Garden to face their old pals the Rangers.

New York Rangers

Igor Shesterkin got his record-breaking extension. But as with so many stars who sign big contracts, his offensive production immediately cratered — in his case, from a career-best one point in 2023-24 to zero in 2024-25. Despite being a solid puckhandler who very obviously wants to score a goal someday, Shesterkin has only three assists to show for six NHL seasons. But this year, he’ll have a two-assist game, something no Rangers goalie has managed since Mike Richter in 1992.

Ottawa Senators

We won’t get three fights in nine seconds in any Olympic Games this year, thanks to international rules. But while Brady Tkachuk might not be allowed to drop the gloves, he’ll figure out a way to earn himself a major at some point during the tournament.

Philadelphia Flyers

I think it’s kind of cool Rick Tocchet is back, making him the first person to be a team’s head coach and all-time PIM leader since Dale Hunter was in Washington. You know who else is in the Flyers’ all-time top ten? Leafs coach Craig Berube. Let’s tie it all together by predicting that the first meeting of the season between Toronto and Philadelphia gets well and truly out of control … which by today’s standards means there are three fights in the game.

Connor Dewar and Joel Farabee trade blows in January 2025, an omen of things to come this season despite neither of them being on the Leafs or Flyers anymore. (Eric Hartline / Imagn Images)

Pittsburgh Penguins

Screw it, let’s swing as big as we can possibly swing by not just predicting a Sidney Crosby trade will actually happen, but going for the actual date. Crosby gets dealt on Feb. 27, 2026, exactly thirty years to the day from the only other midseason trade involving a player of this stature.

San Jose Sharks

The Grier family remains one of the most unique in all of pro sports, with Mike serving as GM for the Sharks while brother Chris holds the same role for the NFL’s Miami Dolphins. Sibling rivalry? Probably, although this year both teams will finish the same number of wins away from a playoff spot.

Seattle Kraken

It might be a rough first month in Seattle, where the Kraken aren’t expected to be very good and are facing what looks to be a tough early schedule. Long-time readers know what that means: Let’s make them this year’s not-so-good team that will at least earn an upset win over the eventual Stanley Cup champion in the season’s first month.

St. Louis Blues

On March 10, the Blues will beat the Islanders in overtime, with Dylan Holloway scoring the winner. Why am I predicting this specific game? Ah, why do any of us do anything, you know?

Tampa Bay Lightning

They finally get to host an outdoor game this year, welcoming the Bruins to Raymond James Stadium in February. Here’s a weird outdoor stat: There have been 53 power-play goals scored outside, but only James van Reimsdyk has more than one, and nobody has ever scored two in the same game. That ends this year in Tampa, when Jake Guentzel gets a pair.

Toronto Maple Leafs

Toronto sports fans could be forgiven for being a little distracted right now, but if you try hard enough, you can make anything about the Leafs. In this case, let’s say this year’s Blue Jays and Maple Leafs will win the same number of playoff games. (And no, there’s no way to win 16 MLB playoff games. Sorry, Leafs fans, I’m just reporting facts here.)

Utah Mammoth

The Mammoth were the only team to go the entire 2025-26 campaign without scoring a goal with their goalie pulled for an extra attacker, the first team since 2013-14 to do that in an 82-game season. They won’t have to wait long this year, as they’ll click on their very first opportunity with the goalie out at the end of a game.

Vancouver Canucks

The Canucks face the Devils twice this year, in December and again in January. This is interesting because the two teams feature several players who are related, a fact that does not come up very often. One of those players, Quinn Hughes, will have an overtime winner in one of those meetings.

Vegas Golden Knights

It’s all eyes on Mitch Marner, and the early returns will be strong. That’s especially true in the postseason, where Marner will have four points in his Vegas playoff debut.

Washington Capitals

Are you ready for the Alexander Ovechkin goals record chase? Sure, we already did that last year. But this year, Ovechkin is 43 away from passing Wayne Gretzky for the most goals scored in the regular season and playoffs combined. Can he do it? Sort of … he’ll finish the year with 42, leaving him in a dead heat with Gretzky that he may or may not decide to stick around and break in 2026-27.

Winnipeg Jets

Jonathan Toews is back, and he’s got four games against the Blackhawks on the schedule, including two in Chicago. Of those two, I’m predicting he’ll score a goal in one. Which one? Well, the only one of the two he actually plays in, obviously.

(Top photo of Igor Shesterkin and Mika Zibanejad: Justin Berl / Getty Images)