I love a good hockey rivalry. The sport has been blessed by some absolute beauties over the years, and there’s nothing quite like watching two teams square off in a matchup soaked in history, trash talk and bad blood.
I also love a good Wikipedia entry, which I’ll admit is an odd thing to say. But if you go deep enough down the rabbit hole, you can usually find some weird stuff some agitated editor has managed to slip into the record, quite possibly after months of debate with a different agitated editor. That’s my favorite part.
Today, let’s combine these two passions by reviving an old gimmick: Finding the single weirdest sentence on hockey-related Wikipedia pages. I’ve tried this before, with NHL teams and NHL arenas. Today we’re going to try NHL rivalries, which has a main page here which then links off to two dozen that have been granted the honor of having their own page.
Yes, there are 24 rivalries that have earned their own Wikipedia page. That simultaneously feels like too many, and also not enough, because some solid matchups like Montreal Canadiens/Ottawa Senators, Buffalo Sabres/ Toronto Maple Leafs and San Jose Sharks/Vegas Golden Knights don’t make the cut. If this bothers you and you’re someone who has figured out how to edit Wikipedia, then you know what to do.
I’ve gone through each of our 24 options and pulled out a single passage that really captures the spirit of the thing. Then I ranked them from least to most weird because sports lists that aren’t ranked are the coward’s playground. Let’s do this.
24. New York Islanders/Washington Capitals
Then, at 14:37 of the third period, Bryan Trottier scored to tie the game at two. No one in attendance at the Cap Centre or watching at home on TV knew it yet, but the game had not yet reached its halfway point.
You know there’s one guy who was watching the game who’s like, “Actually, I did know it.”
Look, I’ll just go ahead and say it: The Wikipedia folks got a little carried away with the old Patrick Division rivalries, and there are going to be a few entries here that probably don’t actually deserve their own page. This one is basically 50 percent Easter Epic, and a big chunk of the rest is Dale Hunter’s hit on Pierre Turgeon. Does that deserve its own page? Apparently somebody thought so.
(I’d make a joke here about East Coast bias except that, I kid you not, there is a section of the main rivalries page about East Coast bias. Look, it’s not our fault you western hippies schedule all your games for midnight, when decent people are already asleep.)
23. Toronto Maple Leafs/Ottawa Senators
Games between the teams are often televised nationally on Hockey Night in Canada.
No way! Not these two (checks notes) Canadian hockey teams! That’s the third sentence on the page, by the way.
Honorable mention to: This caused an uproar with the Maple Leafs, in part because they also lost the game 7–1. It’s about the Daniel Alfredsson stick throw, although it could also apply to 90 percent of Leafs games from the Harold Ballard era.
22. Calgary Flames/Edmonton Oilers
The teams met again on January 29, which saw (Matthew) Tkachuk and (Zack) Kassian fight near the end of the first period, with Kassian saying, “Thanks kid, I appreciate you doing this.”
I’m trying to think of what could be more Canadian than saying “thank you” to somebody for letting you pummel them in a hockey fight. Maybe Kassian could have hummed a few bars of a Rush song and then hit him over the head with a box of Timbits that has three coconut ones even though you specifically said no coconut.
21. Washington Capitals/Pittsburgh Penguins
The two rivals did not meet in the playoffs again until 2000… Unlike the other series in the playoffs, this matchup was played with a 1–2–2–1–1 format … This special format caused many Capitals fans to feel irate, fearing the new format would put the team at a serious disadvantage, being in an 3–0 series hole when they returned home for game four. These worries came true after the Penguins won the first three games in the series, starting with a 7–0 win at the MCI Center.
There are no truer words that can be spoken about the Capitals’ side of this rivalry than “those worries came true.”
20. Los Angeles Kings/San Jose Sharks
A notable early moment in the rivalry came late during the 1993–94 season, when all three California teams – the Kings (who had gone to the 1993 Stanley Cup Final), Sharks (then in only their third year of existence), and Mighty Ducks of Anaheim (then in their inaugural season) – battled for the eighth and final playoff spot in the newly-renamed Western Conference.
OK, a couple of things here. First, three teams battling for eighth place doesn’t actually sound all that exciting. Also, the “battle” saw the Sharks earn the spot with 82 points, while the Ducks had 71 and the Kings had 66, so what kind of late-season slugfest are we pretending happened here?
I’ll be honest, this page may be the most disappointing in this post. The Kings and Sharks rivalry is a great one, but this page is basically just play-by-play of various playoff games. They don’t even have the Drew Doughty “you could see it in their eyes” quote! Huge missed opportunity. This one should rank so much higher.
19. Toronto Maple Leafs/Boston Bruins
In game seven, the Maple Leafs jumped to a 4–1 lead in the third period, aided by two goals by Cody Franson.
There’s a lot going on with this page, including historical incidents like Eddie Shore attacking Ace Bailey and Pat Quinn’s hit on Bobby Orr. But I’m going with the setup to the rivalry’s most famous game of the modern era, which makes sure to note that Franson had two goals. In related news, it would appear Cody Franson is a Wikipedia editor.
18. Los Angeles Kings/Edmonton Oilers
The rivalry was widely known to be one of the most fierce matchups through the 1980s and 1990s with frequent playoff matchups occurring, in addition to the notorious trade of Wayne Gretzky and Marty McSorley.
Ah yes, if there are two things I remember about 1988, it was the notorious trade of Wayne Gretzky and Marty McSorley, and the release of the classic movie “Die Hard” starring Bruce Willis and Miscellaneous Extra In Background.
17. Toronto Maple Leafs/Montreal Canadiens
The Canadiens–Maple Leafs rivalry is central to the children’s book The Hockey Sweater, in which the protagonist, a Canadiens fan presumably based on author Roch Carrier as a child, is forced to wear a Leafs sweater.
For those wondering, “protagonist” is a fancy word for “snotty little brat who can’t show a little gratitude to his hard-working mother that just wants him to wear a nice sweater for once, and can’t last even one shift of a hockey game without having a full-on temper tantrum on the referee like the crybaby Canadiens fan that he is.”
Honorable mention: Montreal was historically viewed as Canada’s cosmopolitan centre for culture; which contrasted Toronto’s pre-World War era reputation as a small city and bastion for “Victorian morality.”
There’s also a 500-word section on “cultural impact,” in case you were wondering if this page goes insanely hard.
16. Washington Capitals/Philadelphia Flyers
Flyers goalie Ron Hextall and Capitals forward Rob Pearson got into a notable scrum in February 1995 but (it) was the last notable moment between the two teams for many seasons.
Aw, this one sounds kind of wistful. (Watches the clip.) OK, that might not be the right word.
But yeah, Pearson was an underrated 1990s crazy guy who ended up in a lot of these things. When he wasn’t fighting the other team’s goalie — yes, that happened more than once — he could often be found annoying Bob Probert and having that end exactly like you’d expect or having linesmen try to push him down a flight of stairs. Rob Pearson ruled.
15. Vancouver Canucks/Calgary Flames
During the first intermission, (Canucks coach John) Tortorella angrily confronted the Flames in the hallway and continued to berate them as they went to their dressing room before players and staff from both teams broke it up.
Editor’s note: Strong writing will avoid redundant or unnecessary words, such as describing literally any action by John Tortorella as being done “angrily.”
Winnipeg Jets fans hold up a sign of John Tortorella’s infamous confrontation with the Calgary Flames during the coach’s subsequent suspension in January 2014. (Marianne Helm / Getty Images)
14. Los Angeles Kings/Anaheim Ducks
Prior to 2007, there was no official name for the regular season meetings between the Ducks and Kings. The “Freeway Face-off” name was chosen by a poll of 12,000 local ice hockey fans. Other names being considered were “Freeze-way Series” and “Ice-5 Series.”
Fun fact: If they had gone with “freeze-way series,” the NHL would have taken emergency measures to disband both franchises and hold a dispersal draft.
13. New York Islanders/Philadelphia Flyers
[T]he two teams have developed a rivalry that bubbles like tar in August, that shimmers like heat waves off an expressway in the dog days of summer.
That’s a quote of a 1980 passage by the legendary Philadelphia Inquirer columnist Bill Lyon, and it’s fair to say that they just don’t make sportswriting like that anymore. I don’t know what to tell you, maybe try hiring some actual wordsmiths instead of lazy bums who just cut-and-paste from Wikipedia pages.
(Honorable mention: The rivalry effectively became dormant for the next 30 years … Yeah, this is another Patrick Division one that maybe didn’t need its own page.)
12. Philadelphia Flyers/New York Rangers
When the third period was about to begin, President George W. Bush addressed Congress and America about the war on terrorism. After his speech, the teams opted not to play the third period, and the game ended in a 2–2 tie; afterwards, the two teams shook hands in a show of respect.
Yes, this actually happened, and yes, it was absolutely as strange as it sounds.
11. Chicago Blackhawks/Detroit Red Wings
On a visit to Olympia Stadium in Detroit in the 1960s, Hull was heckled by three Red Wings fans who eventually climbed the glass and dangled their arms over it before he hit them with his stick.
I’m sorry, but this story just doesn’t ring true. Three Red Wings fans were dumb enough to climb the glass and heckle a rival player until he physically assaulted them? Like, only three? Seems low.
10. Boston Bruins/Montreal Canadiens
… there is no scale to measure the visceral abhorrence I harboured for the Canadiens …
This is another legendary sportswriter, in this case, Cam Cole. If you’d like to read the quote outside of Wikipedia, you can find the original article here. Or you can wait a few days for my “visceral abhorrence” Canadiens tattoo to finish healing on my forehead.
9. New Jersey Devils/New York Rangers
The rivalry was also seen in the short-lived 2003 sitcom “Whoopi,” starring Whoopi Goldberg in the episode “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes”, where it featured Devils stars Scott Gomez, Jay Pandolfo, and Scott Stevens. Rangers players that were featured on the show included Anson Carter and Darius Kasparaitis.
I had no idea that Whoopi Goldberg had a sitcom for one year back in 2003. And I definitely had no idea they apparently had a hockey-themed episode.
I think my favorite part of this story is that the Devils clearly took this opportunity seriously, sending both their captain and their first-line center. Meanwhile, a Rangers team that had Mark Messier, Jaromir Jagr, Brian Leetch and Eric Lindros decided to send Anson Carter and Darius Kasparaitis. When you’re getting little-brothered in sitcom casting, that’s a real rivalry.
Honorable mention: Although not illegal, many NHL commentators and players described Avery’s actions as inappropriate. This is referring to the time Sean Avery tried to screen Martin Brodeur, but it feels like it could actually apply to literally everything else Avery has ever done in his life.
8. Pittsburgh Penguins/Philadelphia Flyers
“Their antics reached a new high, as during game three of the 2018 playoffs, pictures of Crosby appeared in the urinals inside of Wells Fargo Center.”
I like how they use the word “appears,” which makes this sound like the worst magic trick in history. That said, full credit for the use of the word “antics.” Settle down, you rapscallions!
7. St. Louis Blues/Chicago Blackhawks
Perhaps the defining moment in that 1990–91 season came in a brawl during the Blackhawks’ 6–4 win over the Blues on March 17, 1991. The game became known as the “St. Patrick’s Day Massacre” for the massive amount of fighting and penalties handed out to both teams.
Wait, why did you call it a “massacre,” isn’t that a little over the top or… ah, I see, never mind.
Honorable mention: Belfour, who said he had been interfered with on the goal, caused thousands of dollars’ worth of damage to the visitors’ dressing room at the Arena, breaking a coffeemaker, hot tub, and television among other objects.
Do you think he threw the coffeemaker at the TV, or the TV into the hot tub? The answer, I’d assume, is “both.”
6. Toronto Maple Leafs/Detroit Red Wings
On January 13, 1986, the Maple Leafs and Red Wings played a regular season game that involved a brawl lasting nearly 20 minutes. After the Leafs scored their sixth goal, the Red Wings’ head coach, Brad Park, sent his players over the boards, and Leafs head coach Dan Maloney followed suit. During the brawl Maple Leafs assistant coach John Brophy attempted to engage Park, although he was held back by the usher.
I highly recommend the Leafs/Wings page, as it goes into a ton of detail and really brings home just how wild hockey was back in the day. We have bench-clearing brawls, a referee being assaulted, guys fighting in the penalty box and multiple instances of police being called. But I’m going with the 1986 brawl …
… mainly because I desperately want to know more about this usher who held back John Brophy from fighting. If you can get this guy to settle down, you should be on the ice dealing with Joe Kocur, not helping people find their seats.
(Also, the page includes a section titled “Stagnation and the modern era: 1998 to present,” which will also be a chapter title in my upcoming life story.)
5. New Jersey Devils/Philadelphia Flyers
Afterwards, a fan threw a road flare onto the ice that caused smoke to halt play. The fan who threw the flare ran out of the 11th Street exit of the arena but when the PA announcer asked the crowd to point out the culprit, the home crowd pointed out an innocent Devils fan.
Hell yeah. Look, it goes without saying that fans should never throw anything on the ice, least of all something as potentially dangerous as a road flare. But having the presence of mind to spontaneously frame a member of the rival fan base is just A+ situational awareness by Flyers fans here. Bonus points for AP headline after the game: “New Jersey Devils lose flare-up to Flyers, 3-2 in OT.”
4. Tampa Bay Lightning/Florida Panthers
(Phil) Esposito… began to make disparaging remarks about the Panthers organization, referring to them as “pussycats.” All of this upset Florida general manager Bobby Clarke, who … retorted that Esposito shouldn’t call anyone a “pussycat,” considering “the way he used to play.” Shortly afterwards, Esposito jokingly gave Clarke a kiss on the cheek on a live television interview, incensing the Florida GM.
This would be the two teams’ inaugural GMs, who had plenty of history dating back to their playing days. Personally, I think we need more hockey rivalries that are ignited by one GM kissing the other on live TV.
3. New York Islanders/New York Rangers
One well-known incident at an Islanders–Flyers game in 2003 turned a holiday promotion at Nassau Coliseum into an on-ice shoving match between Rangers and Islanders fans in Santa suits.
Honestly, I’m pretty heartbroken that this incident only gets one sentence of coverage, when it probably deserves its own page.
“Look at the little guy getting him!” Hockey is the best.
2. Colorado Avalanche/Detroit Red Wings
The Avalanche never ate anything in Detroit that wasn’t prepared by their own chefs, and always had issues at Joe Louis Arena from lack of hot water, noxious paint in the locker room, to pre-game meals that didn’t show up.
… and …
On the day of the game, The Detroit News printed a “wanted” poster of Lemieux with a prison number under his photo under the headline “A Time For Revenge”, and compared Lemieux to a carjacker.
… and …
The blood pouring from Lemieux turned into a three-foot section of ice crimson.
… and …
(Mike) Vernon was so convinced that he was ejected that he went to his locker stall only to have an official race in to tell Vernon to put his gear back on and get back in net.
Sorry, I couldn’t pick just one. And this is just from the rivalry page; there’s an entire other page dedicated just to the Fight Night at the Joe game, which contains the classically ice-cold “I knew your father before you did” line from Scotty Bowman.
I especially love the Vernon one, since it’s a fun reminder that Paul Devorski handed out just 22 minutes in penalties for the entire brawl, which is the same number we see today when somebody shoots a puck over the glass and then two guys have to get misconducts for giving each other dirty looks about it.
In fairness to Devorski, though, he probably just wanted to make sure he didn’t give out so many penalties that he couldn’t list them all before the next brawl. Why yes, that is a thing, thanks for asking…
1. Montreal Canadiens/Quebec Nordiques
Ten players were thrown out of the game between both brawls, but several were not immediately told of their ejections after the first one, as the officials had not finished recording all of the penalties during the intermission. A 10-minute-long bench-clearing brawl occurred after the announcement of the ejections, and the total number of penalty minutes in the game exceeded 250.
When you have so many ejections after a bench-clearing brawl that you don’t have time to tell the players, who then return to the ice for a second, even larger bench-clearing brawl … you might have a hockey rivalry.
Somebody please bring back the Nordiques so we can revive this rivalry. (Checks recent headlines.) You know what, we’ll take it.