If you scroll through TikTok long enough, chances are you stumble upon edits capturing the sense of an aching heart, yearning for the object of one’s ardent desires to the tune of a “Cigarettes After Sex” song.

Perhaps the edit may be of Laurie from “Little Women” no longer being able to contain his feelings for the main character and confessing: “I’ve loved you ever since I’ve known you, Jo — I couldn’t help it.”

Or maybe it’s that scene in the 2005 adaptation of “Pride and Prejudice” where Mr. Darcy admits his love for Elizabeth under a raging storm, mirroring their tension.

Moments like these capture what many Gen Z viewers describe as “yearning.”

For some, the idea of yearning may seem romantic and fairy tale-esque, while others with a more pragmatic point of view see it as bittersweet or impractical.

“Yearning is one of the most romantic things,” Avery Watley, a sophomore studying film and media production, said. “Even if yearning is never satisfied, even if the character or the person never fully gets what they want, it’s still such a strong feeling and it’s always the anticipation of: Will they get it? Will they not?”

Watley pointed to the 2020 Netflix show “Bridgerton” as a prime example of yearning in action, particularly the tension between Kate and Anthony. She explained how Anthony’s longing for Kate is so intense that it’s almost tangible, so much so that a whiff of her perfume is almost overwhelming — and that this kind of tension is what makes the romance compelling to viewers. 

This fascination with longing, however, is far from modern, and its roots can be traced back to the 16th century when William Shakespeare wrote “Romeo and Juliet,”  along with many plays that are replete with characters experiencing intense desire.

Bradley Ryner, an English professor whose teaching interests include Shakespeare’s works, described yearning as “a longing for something that isn’t there.” Ryner said literature describes events, people or emotions that may not be present, but the literature itself makes them feel present, allowing readers to experience that desire firsthand.

“It’s about a desire on the part of the audience or reader to see something achieved that seems impossible or at least seems highly unlikely,” Ryner said.

Similarly, to Ronnie Jimenez, a junior studying health sciences, yearning means holding out hope for something even if it doesn’t exist.

Jimenez observed that while many now prefer casual relationships and independence, there is a subset of people who still want a traditional type of romance.

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“Over time, people have outgrown the old-fashioned getting married, settling down, having kids, stuff like that,” Jimenez said. “They want to date, just to date and go out and explore the world more on their own, without feeling a tie down to someone. It leaves a subset of people who kind of just yearn for that old-fashioned way of life.” 

Bethelehem Tejeji, a sophomore studying computer science, considers herself a realist, not a yearner. 

“People like to romanticize longing because they really like the idea of somebody really, really wanting them,” Tejeji said. “A lot of people in their love life may feel like they’re on the opposite end of that, they’re the wanter … They never felt like they were at the end of somebody else’s want or obsession.”

While many people are drawn to the idea of intense longing, realists see yearning as more of a fantasy than a practical experience. 

As romantic as it may seem to long for someone for many years at a distance, much like Conrad did over Belly in “The Summer I Turned Pretty,” one must stop and think: When does this sort of love stop being romantic?

“Yearning can get toxic when you only think about that person, and you won’t move on when they clearly have,” Tejeji said. “Some people have used yearning as a reason for not letting go and just moving on.”

Kristal Jensen, a senior studying psychology, views yearning from a psychological angle. She described yearning as “just the desire to love.” 

Jensen explains that love triangles are appealing because they give viewers options and let them idealize partners. More specifically, it allows people to weigh the pros and cons of different relationships.

“(With) yearning, I feel like there’s an aspect of delusion in it as well,” Jensen said. “It’s almost wishful, I think that’s where yearning is different from other types of love. It stems from desire and idealized versions of a partner.”

Yearning emerges in the early stages of a relationship, when someone puts a partner on a pedestal, Jensen said. 

Looking back on the romance tales of the past, it seems the response Jensen talks about aligns with Romeo’s love at first sight, all-consuming desire for Juliet, even though he knew her for less than a week.

Across stories and media, yearning emerges as a complex mix of desire, anticipation and idealization that can sometimes be exhilarating, maybe painful, but always compelling in its intensity.

“Tragedy can be very beautiful,” Ryner said. “I think that one of the things that tragedy might do is produce productive types of yearning. If you yearn for a better world than tragedy leaves you with, then you’re actually in some ways better equipped to do the work of creating that world in the real world. But you can also appreciate that sort of feeling as something beautiful in its own right.”

Maybe that’s the allure of yearning, that it is an idea that is never satisfied. Laurie and Jo never get together, Romeo and Juliet die before getting to live in love, but at least Mr. Darcy’s yearner wishes come true and he lives happily in Pemberley with the object of his desires, Elizabeth.

Edited by Senna James, Henry Smardo and Sophia Braccio. 

Reach the reporter at mmart533@asu.edu.

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MJ MartinezSenior Reporter

MJ is a senior reporter. She previously worked as a part-time reporter for Sci-Tech. 

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