I love my parents, but for most of my adult life, I avoided talking about money with them. Whenever the topic came up—house prices, work, savings—it quickly turned into a generational standoff. They’d shake their heads at “young people today,” and I’d feel like they were living in a different world.
But recently, I decided to have an honest conversation. Not a polite chat over dinner, but a real, heart-on-the-table talk about how different the financial landscape has become. I wanted to understand their perspective—and maybe help them understand mine.
What I didn’t expect was just how outdated their advice would sound once we started talking. It wasn’t arrogance or ignorance; it was simply that they were raised in a world that no longer exists.
1. “Just buy a house as soon as you can.”
This was the first thing my dad said, as if it were still the universal key to financial stability. He and my mum bought their first home in their twenties for what now amounts to a few years’ salary. They love telling me about how they “tightened their belts” to afford it—skipping holidays, eating beans on toast.
But when I showed them the numbers—average incomes, deposit requirements, interest rates—they were genuinely shocked. The math doesn’t add up anymore. A starter home today can cost 10 to 15 times the median income in many cities. For them, it was three or four times.
For boomers, property was a golden ticket. For millennials and Gen Z, it can feel more like a lifelong mortgage trap. The idea that owning a home automatically equals financial security just doesn’t hold true in the same way it once did.
When I told my parents that renting isn’t “throwing money away,” but rather a flexible lifestyle choice for many people, they looked at me like I’d spoken another language. That’s when I realized this wasn’t just about numbers—it was about identity. To their generation, homeownership wasn’t just financial; it was moral.
2. “Stick with one company and work your way up.”
My mum built her entire career at the same company. She started in an entry-level position and retired decades later with a pension and a farewell party. That kind of stability simply doesn’t exist anymore.
When I told her that I’d switched jobs three times in five years—and even started my own business—she frowned. “That’s risky,” she said. “You should find something stable.”
But stability looks different now. Companies no longer promise loyalty, pensions, or guaranteed raises. In today’s economy, adaptability is stability. You survive by evolving, not by staying put. For many of us, the ladder has been replaced by a maze—and learning how to navigate it is the real skill.
When I explained this, she softened a little. “I suppose the world is faster now,” she said. “It used to move slower.” That sentence stuck with me. It’s not that boomers don’t get it—it’s that the speed of change has outpaced their frame of reference.
3. “Stop worrying so much—you have more than we ever did.”
This one hurt a little, because I know it came from love. But it’s hard to hear when the numbers tell a different story. Yes, our generation has access to more technology, more information, and arguably more opportunity—but we also have unprecedented costs: housing, healthcare, education, and inflation that eats away at everything.
My dad was convinced that because I earn more on paper than he ever did, I must be doing better. But when I showed him how much of that income goes to rent, insurance, and taxes, he blinked in disbelief. The financial pressures today aren’t about spending habits—they’re structural.
It’s not about buying fewer coffees or avocado toast. It’s about living in an economy where the goalposts have moved so far, you can’t even see where they used to be.
4. “Money isn’t everything—focus on security, not happiness.”
This was one of those moments that perfectly captured the generational divide. For my parents, money was a means to stability. They valued having a steady paycheck, a house, and predictable routines. Fulfillment wasn’t the goal—security was.
For my generation, that equation has flipped. Many of us watched our parents sacrifice their joy for jobs they didn’t love, believing retirement would be the reward. But by the time they got there, the world had changed, and sometimes the reward felt hollow.
So, when I told my parents that I’d rather make less doing work that gives me purpose, they were baffled. “You’ll regret that when you’re older,” my mum said. Maybe. But I’ve seen what regret looks like in older faces—and it rarely comes from following what makes you feel alive.
The truth is, we don’t reject security—we just want it to coexist with meaning. We want to live, not just survive.
5. “You should invest in property—it’s always safe.”
Another classic boomer mantra. For them, real estate was the ultimate wealth builder. But I had to explain that “always safe” doesn’t apply to today’s market. Between global recessions, speculative bubbles, and changing tax laws, property isn’t the simple, guaranteed path it once was.
Many boomers made their wealth through time, not strategy. They bought when prices were low and simply held on as the economy inflated around them. But those same rules don’t work when you’re buying at the top of the market. What worked then doesn’t work now.
When I said this, my dad chuckled. “Maybe we just got lucky.” I think that’s the first time I’d ever heard him say that out loud.
6. “Don’t talk about money—it causes problems.”
This one revealed something deeper than economics—it showed how differently our generations handle vulnerability. For my parents, money was private, almost taboo. They were taught not to discuss salaries, debt, or financial mistakes. You just got on with it.
But for my generation, transparency is empowerment. We talk about salaries, cost of living, side hustles, and burnout. We share knowledge because we have to—because silence only benefits the system that keeps people confused and isolated.
When I told my parents how open my friends and I are about money, they were stunned. “That’s personal,” my mum said. And I realized—her generation was raised to protect their pride. Mine is learning to protect each other.
7. “You’re lucky—you don’t have to struggle like we did.”
I understand why they think that. They worked long hours, raised families on modest incomes, and built everything from scratch. They sacrificed for their version of success—and they’re proud of that, as they should be.
But the struggles are different now. Instead of physical exhaustion, ours is emotional. Instead of a clear path to progress, ours is uncertain. Instead of stability, we have constant adaptation. The struggle hasn’t disappeared—it’s just changed shape.
When I told my parents that mental health challenges, burnout, and financial anxiety are some of the biggest issues our generation faces, they were quiet. Not dismissive—just thoughtful. Maybe for the first time, they saw that hardship isn’t always visible.
8. “You worry too much about the future.”
That one made me laugh. Because if there’s one thing that defines our generation, it’s the constant awareness of uncertainty. Climate change, automation, inflation, housing instability—we live in a perpetual state of “what next?”
My parents came of age in a world that promised progress. Each decade seemed better than the last. For us, the story isn’t so linear. The old advice of “work hard and it’ll all work out” doesn’t feel reassuring anymore—it feels naïve.
But beneath my frustration, I could see something beautiful: their optimism. They still believe in human resilience, in the power of effort and community. Maybe that’s the one piece of advice worth keeping—the hope that we can still shape our future, even if the rules have changed.
What I learned from that conversation
Walking away from that talk, I didn’t feel angry. I felt grateful. Because even though their advice was out of touch, their intentions weren’t. They weren’t wrong—they were just raised in a different reality. And I realized something important: every generation has blind spots.
My parents grew up in a world where effort equaled reward. I grew up in one where effort often equals exhaustion. But the core values—discipline, gratitude, self-reliance—still matter. The challenge is translating those values into a new context.
Maybe the point isn’t to argue about who has it harder, but to find common ground—to combine their experience with our awareness, their practicality with our adaptability.
The bridge between generations
At the end of our conversation, my dad smiled and said, “I suppose every generation thinks the next one’s got it easier.” I laughed. “And every generation thinks the last one doesn’t understand.”
He nodded. “Maybe we both have a point.”
That moment felt like peace. Not agreement, but understanding. And that’s what I think we’re all really searching for—not to prove our parents wrong, but to help them see how the world has changed without losing what made theirs meaningful.
Because yes, their advice might be out of touch—but their values still have a heartbeat worth listening to. The trick is updating the rhythm for the world we live in now.