Ten months after her husband died by suicide, a Hurricane woman is sharing their story in hopes of sparking change, calling for more mental health resources so others won’t have to suffer the same kind of loss.
“I don’t want people to get to this point themselves,” KerryAnn Humphrey told St. George News, tears rolling down her face. “And I don’t want families to have to deal with it. And I think that if by talking about it, it helps people, I’m happy to.”
She and her husband were just one month away from their 30th anniversary when he died. A longtime occupational therapist who had helped countless stroke survivors, Matt suffered a stroke himself, something he never anticipated, as reported by St. George News in August 2023.
Matt Humphrey smiles for the camera, location and date not specified.
Photo by Whittney Jean Photography courtesy of KerryAnn Humphrey
“It’s been a whirlwind ever since,” Matt Humphrey said in the 2023 interview. “Acute ICU, neuro rehab, lots of doing stuff on schedules, working out, trying to get better and so many ups and downs. It’s been hard.”
He expected a quick recovery and to return to everyday life. When that didn’t happen, KerryAnn Humphrey said her husband’s mental health began to decline. That setback marked the start of a heartbreaking downward spiral.
KerryAnn Humphrey said her husband contracted a bad case of COVID-19 in 2022. In March 2023, while his mother was in hospice care with multiple sclerosis, he caught COVID-19 again. He recovered just in time to see her before she passed. A few months later, on June 13, he suffered a stroke.
The stroke landed him in the hospital for 33 days, and during that time, he responded well to physical therapy and counseling. But looking back, KerryAnn Humphrey realized he eventually stopped participating in physical, occupational and talk therapy. He did reach the point where he was driving again and working a few hours each day, but something had shifted.
“In April, he kind of started to get discouraged and made comments about, ‘Gosh, I thought I would be further along than this. I thought it would be easier than this,” she said.
Given their shared careers in occupational therapy, she said it was tough for her husband to help stroke patients while struggling to heal himself. He had hoped his body and mind would recover the way he had seen in others, but when that didn’t happen, it weighed heavily on him.
KerryAnn and Matt Humphrey take a photo together inside their occupational therapy office during a St. George News interview in Hurricane, Utah, July 26, 2023.
Photo by Jessi Bang, St. George News
She also noticed signs of “COVID brain” — lingering cognitive fog — which only worsened after the stroke. It felt like the stroke was slowly “whittling away at his brain.” A former high school and college athlete, he also began experiencing flare-ups from old orthopedic injuries.
As a therapist, she often reflected on the impact of the frontal lobe, executive function and impulsive decision-making. Though hesitant to admit it, she also noticed her husband had started drinking more. Unfortunately, she said, he faced many risk factors for self-harm.
“If you don’t tell people what’s going on in your head – well, truly, if you’re at that point, part of the risk factor is that they won’t tell you, because it’s their out,” she said. “And it’s not so much that they want to die, it’s just that they want out of that pain.”
After his stroke, he experienced four separate episodes that appeared to be additional strokes, each sending him to the emergency room. One of those episodes happened two weeks before he died. Each time, brain scans showed no new damage. The lack of answers led doctors to consider the possibility of multiple sclerosis and refer him to a neurologist.
Matt Humphrey recovers after suffering a stroke, location and date not specified.
Photo courtesy of KerryAnn Humphrey
KerryAnn Humphrey explained that multiple sclerosis is often mistaken for a stroke because the symptoms during an exacerbation can closely resemble one another. She said that getting an accurate MS diagnosis is usually a long and challenging process, and her husband did not have the chance to complete it.
During this time, she said her husband suffered intense physical pain, waking each morning with stiff, locked muscles, which is a common effect after a stroke. His mental pain was just as deep, driven by his own struggles and the bullying he faced in public.
A week before he died, he covered for an occupational therapist at a nursing home. That day, he came home feeling defeated, unable to work as he once had. At 6 feet 4 inches and 260 pounds in his prime, he could lift patients with ease. Now, even simple tasks were a struggle, and it weighed heavily on him.
KerryAnn Humphrey said he came home more than once in tears because of hurtful comments from people in public. Additionally, the financial strain of his recovery weighed heavily on the family, and they considered selling their home to cover the costs.
“We had an argument, and the last thing he said was, ‘I’m going to make it so you don’t have to worry about me anymore,’” she said, sobbing. “I will never forgive myself for not knowing what that means, but I had no idea what that meant.”
Matt Humphrey undergoes physical therapy after suffering a stroke, location and date not specified.
Photo courtesy of KerryAnn Humphrey
Humphrey said he took a pistol stored in their gun safe, got into his car and drove away. Their daughter was tracking his location and saw that he had stopped about a quarter mile from their home, where he stayed for about 10 minutes. Concerned, his daughter and KerryAnn Humphrey’s assistant went to check on him. That is when they found he had taken his own life.
“I know that he was trying not to have something like that happen,” she said about the discovery. “He would not have thought about technology or that possibility. People say they are mad at him, or whatever, but I can’t be mad at him. I think he just wanted out of pain, and unfortunately, it just didn’t end well.”
KerryAnn Humphrey said that half of her medical training focuses on mental health, and she feels guilty for not recognizing the warning signs sooner. Despite that, she is determined to use her experience to help others.
“My point is, I think we’re in a freakin’ epidemic,” she said. “I really do. I think we’ve got to do something — we’ve got to do better.”
Humphrey emphasized the urgent need for more support and resources for stroke survivors. She believes there is a critical window in the first few years after a stroke when the risk of self-harm is significantly higher, and greater awareness is essential.
She also called for better community suicide resources as a whole, pointing out that grief support groups often meet in places that can feel intimidating to some, such as a mortuary or church. In contrast, suicide support groups are held in hospitals.
KerryAnn and Matt Humphrey smile for a photo inside their Occupational Therapy office in Hurricane, Utah, date not specified.
Photo courtesy of KerryAnn Humphrey
With Utah among the states with the highest suicide rates in the western U.S., Humphrey believes it ranks in the top three nationally, highlighting an urgent need for change. She attributes these high rates to a judgmental culture that discourages people from seeking help.
“I think it’s across the country, we live in a freaking bullying, nasty world,” she said. “And in a lot of cases, people don’t even do anything to teach their kids that they should do better. And that progresses to create mean, bullying adults in the workplace, the internet, road rage, you name it.”
She hopes to focus more on prevention, especially among young people who are struggling and giving up in increasing numbers. She wants to encourage open conversations about grief and trauma. While trauma is often seen as a frightening word, it can simply mean disappointment and heartbreak. She said that matters most is learning how to process those experiences.
In her own healing journey, Humphrey adopted holistic practices, including purchasing a drum and sound bowls, as well as completing a sound healing training course. She hopes that from this tragedy, a positive path will emerge, helping her find her platform and teach others coping skills.
Through her business, she is expanding her offerings to include a breath salt room and a burn plunge room featuring infrared and cold plunge therapy. Her ultimate goal is to support people dealing with grief, trauma and pain, alongside the pelvic floor therapy she already provides. For now, she is allowing herself to fully feel her grief and process her emotions moment by moment without rushing the healing.
Matt Humphrey works hard during physical therapy in St. George, Utah, date unspecified.
Photo courtesy of KerryAnn Humphrey
With June being Men’s Mental Health Month, she hopes to raise awareness about mental health challenges faced by men and boys, encouraging men to prioritize their well-being, seek help when needed and break down the stigma surrounding mental health discussions.
And she wants people to remember her husband for the amazing man he was.
“He was a big teddy bear,” she said between sobs. “He was very protective. I think he thought that he was saving me, or saving us. But he loved me very much. I know he did.”
If you or someone you know is in danger because of suicidal thoughts or actions, call 911 immediately. Suicide is an emergency that requires help by trained medical professionals and should always be treated seriously.
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KerryAnn and Matt Humphrey pose together for a photo, location and date not specified.
Matt and KerryAnn Humphrey pose for a photo, location and date not specified.
Matt Humphrey enjoys the outdoors with his dog, location and date not specified.
Matt Humphrey Humphrey smile for a photo after one of their children is born, location and date not specified.
KerryAnn and Matt Humphrey smile for a photo inside their Occupational Therapy office in Hurricane, Utah, date not specified.
Matt Humphrey smiles for the camera, location and date not specified.
KerryAnn Humphrey smiles for the camera, location and date not specified.
Matt Humphrey enjoys the outdoors, location and date not specified.
KerryAnn and Matt Humphrey pose together for a photo, location and date not specified.
KerryAnn and Matt Humphrey smile for a family photo, location and date not specified.
KerryAnn and Matt Humphrey smile for a photo at their wedding, location and date not specified.
Matt Humphrey smiles for a family photo, location and date not specified.
Matt Humphrey recovers after suffering a stroke, location and date not specified.
Matt Humphrey undergoes physical therapy after suffering a stroke, location and date not specified.
KerryAnn and Matt Humphrey take a photo together inside their occupational therapy office during a St. George News interview in Hurricane, Utah, July 26, 2023.
Matt Humphrey works hard during physical therapy in St. George, Utah, date unspecified.
Matt Humphrey works hard during physical therapy in St. George, Utah, date unspecified.
Matt Humphrey smiles for a photo during a St. George News interview in Hurricane, Utah, July 26, 2023.
Matt Humphrey works hard during physical therapy in St. George, Utah, date unspecified.
KerryAnn and Matt Humphrey pose together for a photo, location and date not specified.
Matt and KerryAnn Humphrey pose for a photo, location and date not specified.
Matt Humphrey enjoys the outdoors with his dog, location and date not specified.
Matt Humphrey Humphrey smile for a photo after one of their children is born, location and date not specified.
KerryAnn and Matt Humphrey smile for a photo inside their Occupational Therapy office in Hurricane, Utah, date not specified.
Matt Humphrey smiles for the camera, location and date not specified.
KerryAnn Humphrey smiles for the camera, location and date not specified.
Matt Humphrey enjoys the outdoors, location and date not specified.
KerryAnn and Matt Humphrey pose together for a photo, location and date not specified.
KerryAnn and Matt Humphrey smile for a family photo, location and date not specified.
KerryAnn and Matt Humphrey smile for a photo at their wedding, location and date not specified.
Matt Humphrey smiles for a family photo, location and date not specified.
Matt Humphrey recovers after suffering a stroke, location and date not specified.
Matt Humphrey undergoes physical therapy after suffering a stroke, location and date not specified.
KerryAnn and Matt Humphrey take a photo together inside their occupational therapy office during a St. George News interview in Hurricane, Utah, July 26, 2023.
Matt Humphrey works hard during physical therapy in St. George, Utah, date unspecified.
Matt Humphrey works hard during physical therapy in St. George, Utah, date unspecified.
Matt Humphrey smiles for a photo during a St. George News interview in Hurricane, Utah, July 26, 2023.
Matt Humphrey works hard during physical therapy in St. George, Utah, date unspecified.