A woman from Vancouver recently called into “The Ramsey Show” with a question that instantly raised red flags: Should she open a bank account behind her husband’s back in case of an emergency?

A Marriage On The Brink Over Finances

“We overspend a lot each month,” said Sadie, explaining that while she’s trying to manage their finances, most of the problem comes from her husband. They’ve been married 10 years and consistently rack up debt on credit cards–$3,500 Canadian dollars ($2,500) over budget two months ago and CA$2,500 last month.

“Where’s this money coming from?” personal finance expert Dave Ramsey asked. “It’s all on credit cards right now,” Sadie answered.

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As the conversation continued, more troubling details emerged. Sadie revealed her husband used to have a serious drinking problem, which she caught early and he began working on. While that’s improved, she said if he slips up, spending spikes again, especially on things like eating out and video games.

“What I’m hearing is a very immature, very irresponsible little boy,” Ramsey said. “And you’ve been trying to be his mommy for 10 freaking years.”

Sadie said she doesn’t feel safe financially. Her husband handles all of the income while she stays home with their three kids, only receiving a child tax benefit. Despite their efforts in marriage counseling, she admitted the sessions haven’t helped much so far. “We have a difficult time talking about finances,” she said.

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Co-host Rachel Cruze said that it wasn’t just the spending, but the fact that they can’t even talk about it that makes it worse. “That makes me nervous,” she said. “These are things that end marriages.”

Ramsey advised her to stop his access to credit cards immediately and cut off spending channels. Opening another account was fine, as long as Sadie was honest about it and used it to control the damage.

Both hosts stressed that the current pattern isn’t sustainable. “This is deteriorating before your very eyes and we may see it more clearly than you do,” Ramsey said.

They encouraged her to seek support from friends or community and start thinking seriously about what she would do if the marriage doesn’t survive. “I don’t think we’re overreacting,” Ramsey told her. “I think you’re underreacting.”

“Having the three kids and thinking what’s my exit plan if this were the case,” Cruze said. “I mean, that is so scary and overwhelming to even think about.”

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This article She’s Tired Of Her Husband Overspending And Wants A Secret Account. Dave Ramsey Is Baffled By What He’s Spending The Money On originally appeared on Benzinga.com

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