If you thought Dallas was normal before 2025, you probably weren’t paying attention. But if you thought Dallas would stay relatively sane during the year, you were dead wrong.

This year felt like someone put our city into a blender with The Onion, a Reddit conspiracy thread and a shot of tequila, then hit “puree.” We saw the football fields soaked in piss, we saw the Cowboys do Cowboys things (but louder), and we saw the unthinkable happen out of the American Airlines Center.

So, maybe pour yourself a stiff drink and let’s count down the absolute wildest moments that made us question reality in Big D this year.

7. Texas DMV Plays “No Fun Police” With Vanity Plates

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We begin our descent into madness with a classic Texas tradition: citizens attempting to sneak in dirty jokes past government bureaucrats.

Early this year, the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles released its annual “naughty list” of rejected vanity plates, and folks, the creativity of our neighbors is truly inspiring. While we can’t print all of them without getting a stern email from our publisher, let’s just say the variations on “Deez Nuts” have reached near-scholarly levels of linguistic evolution.

There were plates referencing criminal records (“1FELONY” — honesty is the best policy, is it not?), plates referencing bodily functions (“CKNBUTT”) and plates that were just baffling cries for help. It’s comforting to know that while the world burns, someone in Plano is still fighting the good fight to get a dick joke on the back of their Corolla. — Preston Barta

6. The War on Rainbow Crosswalks

Gov. Greg Abbott was quite bored this year, it seems.

In October, he announced a directive that would require TxDOT to enforce “roadway safety” by focusing on the removal of “non-standard surface markings, signage, and signals that do not directly support traffic control.” It was a not-so-subtle attempt to have rainbow crosswalks — like the ones that have existed on the Cedar Springs Strip since 2020 — quite literally whitewashed away as a political stunt.

But by attempting to dim the vibrancy of the city’s historic LGBTQ district, the governor only splashed up more color. Oak Lawn United Methodist Church, situated at an intersection where rainbow crosswalks can be seen, garnered national praise for literally stepping up to paint its entrance steps in the colors of the LGBTQ pride flag. JR’s Bar and Grill got an exterior upgrade with a rainbow wrap along its perimeter. Salon Aura adorned its sigange with a rainbow underline. A community fought back with its most formidable defense: pride. — Alec Spicer

5. Golden Showers of Mischief: The Piss Bandits’ Reign

Move over, Banksy — 2025 was the year the infamous “Piss Bandits” became one of the most discussed underground artists in Dallas, and their medium of choice was (unfortunately) liquid gold.

For nearly two months, North Texas schools and parks fell victim to the soggy antics of these mischievous pranksters whose calling card was, well, peeing on things. Viral footage showed hidden figures casually relieving themselves on everything from football fields to campus statues, turning public spaces into their personal canvases. Their commitment to this, let’s call it “fluid” performance art, was rivaled only by the citywide whodunit that ensued.

Reactions ranged from outrage to begrudging amusement, with some even expressing a weird sense of pride. Because, let’s face it, only in North Texas could such chaos unfold. The “Piss Bandits” trended on TikTok, inspired amateur sleuth accounts and even sparked jokes about merch opportunities. How does Bullzerk not have a “I survived the Bandit splatter zone” shirt yet?

Eventually, the law flushed them out — or maybe the Bandits simply moved on to a new mischief trend — but for a couple of months, they remained as elusive as the evidence they left behind. It was a moment of pure, unfiltered Texas absurdity and a shower of crime that left an indelible mark on the city’s psyche (and sidewalks). — PB

4. The Big Spit and Cowboys Chaos

Ah, the Dallas Cowboys. If they aren’t breaking our hearts, they’re making headlines for the weirdest reasons possible.

Take the 2025 season opener against the Eagles, a game that started with a divine weather delay and ended with one of the most talked-about moments of the year: the Spit Seen ‘Round the World. Eagles defensive tackle Jalen Carter, apparently mistaking Dak Prescott for a spittoon, was caught on camera hocking a loogie right onto the Cowboys’ golden boy. The refs actually ejected Carter before he played a single snap, and chaos — and memes — ensued.

The entire thing played out on national TV, sparking debates, slow-motion replays and an unscheduled crash course in sportsmanship for all involved. If that wasn’t enough drama, the Cowboys’ offseason also featured the brain-boggling decision to trade Micah Parsons to Green Bay, and an equally befuddling move to bring in George Pickens — all of which left fans more confused than an Eagles fan at a spelling bee.

Classic Cowboys: never boring, always a bit bonkers. — PB

3. UNT Being a Drag

The timeline of drag bans in Texas is annoying to follow, especially when you’re reminded of how frivolous the concept of banning something like drag shows is to begin with.

In the spring, Texas colleges began enforcing “pauses” on drag shows as regional and school officials claimed they were at odds with President Trump’s January executive action that forbade federal funds from “promoting gender ideology.” A federal judge soon ruled that Trump’s order was “too vague” to be applicable to on-campus drag performances, specifically citing Texas A&M’s Draggieland showcase in his judicial opinion. In August, the ban was officially struck down by the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.

And still, UNT was dragging its feet to lift a similar campus-wide ban on drag. Organizations like the ALCU of Texas and the Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression quickly put the pressure on the Denton university to abide be the court’s ruling, and it was finally lifted in mid-August. By November, however, the ban was back in effect when Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton took to a federal appellate court to clear the way the state to enforce it. The ALCU of Texas says it will continue to fight the ruling and “will not stop until this unconstitutional law is struck down for good.” Drag isn’t banned at our favorite gay clubs, though — come and take it, as they say. — AS

2. The Tragedy of the Yoga Puppies

This story was wild in the worst way possible. The concept of “Puppy Yoga” sounds like a serotonin overdose waiting to happen. But a Dallas event turned tragic when reports surfaced that a batch of eight-week-old Dalmatian puppies brought in for a yoga class ended up catching parvovirus, and nearly all of them, plus their mother, died within days of the session.

Blame flew fast: The breeder insisted the pups had only ever left home for the class or the vet, while the yoga studio claimed they followed strict cleaning and blamed a lack of diligence from the breeder. As social media users and animal advocates dove into the messy aftermath, questions about the wisdom (and ethics) of bringing such young, vulnerable puppies into a crowded studio for Instagram fodder reached a fever pitch. In a city full of wild stories, this one stands out as uniquely heartbreaking — and a stark reminder that Dallas wellness trends can sometimes go off the rails in a way nobody expects. — PB

1. The Trade That Broke Dallas: Luka Dončić is Gone

And here we are. The moment time stopped. The moment the simulation glitched. The moment GM Nico Harrison’s villain arc (or perhaps hia chaos agent mission) reached its zenith.

Trading Luka Dončić wasn’t just a sports story; it was a civic crisis. When the news broke, you could hear the collective gasp from Fort Worth to Mesquite. Why? How? For whom?! And taken from us literally in the middle of the night.

The aftermath was a blur of protests, angry radio calls and a general malaise that settled over the American Airlines Center like a dark cloud. Luka wasn’t just a player. He was the Slovenian Savior, the guy who made step-back threes look like magic and the heir to Dirk’s throne. Sending him packing felt like selling the Reunion Tower well below asking price for a pile of scrap metal.

Sure, Harrison got fired later in the year, which offered a blood sacrifice of sorts to the angry mobs, but the damage was done. We are now living in the Post-Luka era, a strange wasteland where hope is scarce and the scoreboard is lackluster. It is, without a doubt, the wildest, most inexplicable thing to happen to this city in 2025. — PB

So, there you have it, Dallas. We survived piss, the trades, the spit and the vanity plates. Here’s to 2026 — which, believe it not, we’re begging to be a little more boring.