Samuel from Austin, Texas, called into “The Ramsey Show” with a question that quickly sparked concern from hosts George Kamel and Jade Warshaw: is it morally okay to ask his wife to use her personal savings to pay off his car loan?

He explained he purchased the car in April two years ago after a crash left him without transportation. Then, he got married the following month. “That’s convenient,” Kamel remarked dryly.

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Finances Not Fully Combined

Although Samuel said their finances are combined, things aren’t quite that simple. He and his wife pay bills together, but she has a separate savings account with about $16,000 to $17,000 she’s been building since she was a teenager. He, on the other hand, has no savings and owes $20,000 on the car.

“You’re telling me your money is combined, but then you’re telling me ‘Should my wife use her savings to pay this off.’ So, that lets me know it’s not combined,” Warshaw said.

Samuel said the car is now worth just $7,000 to $9,000. He admitted it was a bad financial move and he had made a “stupid decision” when he bought it. He originally paid $20,000 for the 2013 Cadillac and put $4,000 down.

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Warshaw pointed out that his wife may be keeping her money separate out of fear, not selfishness. “She’s in a just-in-case mode,” she said, noting that it suggests deeper trust issues. “She’s like, ‘I want to make sure I have this parachute here just in case I got to pull the lever.’”

Kamel said the real issue isn’t whether it’s moral to ask her to pay it off. “It’s what does the conversation need to look like for us to combine our money,” he said. Otherwise, he warned, this will only become another “checkbox on her resentment scorecard” because he never changed his habits.

Samuel added that his wife said she’d be “100% on board” with helping, but only if she didn’t feel like she needed to keep that money as a safety net for emergencies, especially since they have a daughter.

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Kamel challenged Samuel to take real accountability. “Right now, you’re using her like a bank to bail you out. Bank of wife. Guess what? She’s not your mom. She doesn’t want to be your mom. She married you to have a partner.”

They urged him to sell the car, admit his past mistakes, and approach his wife with humility. “Hey, babe, I’ve really messed up,” Kamel suggested he say. “I have not been the man in this marriage that you need me to be. I’m ready to change.”

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This article A Dave Ramsey Caller Wants His Wife To Use Her Savings To Pay Off The Car He Got One Month Before The Wedding. ‘That’s Convenient’ originally appeared on Benzinga.com

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