Recently, we met Matt McCallister, a sober chef, in the first of a series exploring the intersection of sobriety and the service industry. It’s a messy intersection, but do we have any other kind in Dallas?
Next up is Will Rhoten, aka. DJ Sober, one of the city’s top DJs and the founder of Herby’s Burgers in the Elmwood neighborhood of Oak Cliff. Though his story, like McCallister’s, ties a sober lifestyle directly to the world of bars, restaurants and events, that’s where the similarities end. But let’s start at the beginning.
“I started when I was 16 years old,” says Rhoten of his first days as a DJ. “I bought turntables and started buying records.” This early vinyl fixation hinted at what would become a successful career, spinning Rhoten into one of the most popular DJs in the region and beyond (even on DART trains). Today, his record collection numbers in the thousands, and he’s headlined everywhere from AT&T Stadium to celebrity birthday bashes to the hottest clubs in the country. But first, his early experiences informed a decision that would define him both professionally and personally.
‘Exposed to Everything’
“I was hanging out with a much older crowd that was taking me to raves and illegal warehouse parties. I was exposed to everything in excess, and I witnessed a lot of things and was around a lot of things that I shouldn’t have been,” he says.
The ’90s rave culture he refers to is quickly fading from our cultural memory. It was an incubator for cutting-edge, genre-defining sounds created by young artists, but those epic all-night dance parties were also synonymous with certain substances and the havoc they could wreak.
The actor Mena Suvari, another creative soul who came of age in the ’90s, included a chapter entitled “Rave Daze” in her memoir, The Great Peace.
“My mind was blown by the combination of music, drugs, and dancing,” she wrote, going on to describe an encounter at Enit, the one-night music festival series founded by Perry Farrell of Jane’s Addiction, when she was in her mid-teens.
“His name was Sean and he was several years older than me. I walked up to him and asked if he had any pot. He had something better, he said. He showed me several small bags of powder that he said held methamphetamine — or ‘meth,’ as he said with a glint in his eye. … I walked back down the hill to my friends and we all got high one more time.
“The music was incredible, the energies were powerful, and we all slowly left our minds and our bodies that night…”
The truth about raves is that the reality could be — and often was — much darker than the whimsical glow sticks and adult pacifiers might indicate. And Rhoten was there at the height of it all.
Calling it at 16
“Even at 16, I already saw a lot of people kind of throwing their lives away and making really poor decisions,” he recalls. “I saw how substances affected a lot of people around me. It kind of put a bad taste in my mouth and made me realize, You know what? I like aspects of this scene, but I think, for me, I just want to focus on the music, and learning to DJ, and perfecting my craft, and not get caught up in that.”
In other words, he just didn’t think it was a lesson worth learning the hard way. April Murray-Bravo is a Dallas-based licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder of Vazier Counseling. With over a decade of clinical experience working with clients affected by substance use disorders, she is also our go-to expert for this series. She provides perspective on abstinence as a proactive choice.
“There are many reasons people choose sobriety, whether to improve or maintain physical health, cognitive clarity, or avoid complications related to use,” Murray-Bravo says. “For others, the distaste of the product, or mistrust in the environment, is enough to keep them from consuming. For many people, sobriety isn’t about restriction. It’s about freedom or control.”
That early choice to steer clear of booze and drugs netted him a stage name: Sober. Dovetailing with his typical look — glasses, ball cap, kind smile, nobody to impress — it stuck. “The name kind of came to be, and I was like, oh, that’s cool,” he says. “And, then once I got to be 21, and I still didn’t drink, my mentality was, Why would I start now? I never chose that path to be preachy or holier-than-thou. It was just what worked for me.”
And as to the aforementioned “freedom or control” aspect of intentional sobriety? For Rhoten, we might venture a guess and say it’s a little bit of both.. “DJing to me is a craft, and I want to do my best, whether there’s five people in the room or 500,” Rhoten says. “I’ve seen a lot of people who are great DJs, and then they get some alcohol in them and they turn into monsters or they get sloppy.
Self-Awareness and Boundaries
“People think DJing is a really social job, but honestly, you show up before anyone’s there, you set up, you’re locked in while you’re working the room, and then you’re packing up while everyone else is partying. I just go in, do my thing, and try to be the best I can be. Sobriety lets me stay sharp and take my craft seriously.”
Murray-Bravo concurs that sobriety and bar culture can certainly co-exist — with an asterisk. “Many sober professionals thrive in this field,” she says. “But success often depends on self-awareness, boundaries and access to support.”
After about three decades, we’d say that Rhoten seems to have found success. He’s collaborated with top talents in the music industry, counts the likes of Erykah Badu and Dirk Nowitzki among his private party clientele, and he’s won half a dozen (or so) awards from this publication alone. But something was still missing.
A window seat gives you a good view of Herby’s mascot, the owner’s dog.
DJ Sober Walks Into a Bar …
“I always wanted to open a bar — even though I’m DJ Sober,” Rhoten jokes. “I had studied the industry, and I’ve had these legendary nights and made other people a ton of money. I thought I’d love to put my touch on a space that could be mine.”
He envisioned a place where people could “talk and hang out and meet and create new relationships.” What eventually materialized is just that. Marking its second anniversary this month, Herby’s is Rhoten’s pitch-perfect branded throwback burger joint on Edgefield Avenue in Oak Cliff. Serving smashburgers slathered in melted cheese and buttery onions, golden-fried tots and grilled hot dogs, its rotating calendar of theme parties and collabs echoes the owner’s first job in many ways. And soon, he’s even adding wine and beer to the mix (permit pending).
“There’s so much to learn,” he says. “Looking back, there’s so much that I know now, if I did it again, it would be 10 times smoother. Every day is a lesson. But there are still so many rewarding things. That’s why I did it in the first place.”
And, at the end of one of his long days, whether party- or bar- or burger-centric, he unwinds by putting on a record and maybe even cracking open a “cold, crisp Dr Pepper.” It not a shot and a beer, but it works for DJ Sober.