DEAR ABBY: I am a longtime divorcee and a retiree with grown kids. What is troubling me is I’ve always had an issue with taking a shower and all the oil and dirt flowing down my body. I think it’s gross, so I usually wash my hair in the kitchen sink. I also don’t get in the shower to wash my body. I hate getting out of the shower and feeling cold, or trying to get dressed partially wet.
When I’ve been in relationships, I force myself to shower or wipe down with hospital-type wipes. (I still wash up this way, just not regularly, and I know it’s gross.) I dry shave my legs and underarms when needed, but this is really an issue for me. I brush my teeth twice a day. I use a light perfume and often get compliments, but I know from reading your advice that seniors lose their sense of smell and I could be ripe.
I don’t know how to overcome this, and, for obvious reasons, I don’t have a friend I can float this by. I’m healthy and, like everyone, struggle with depression, but I don’t feel it’s bad enough to seek professional help. I’m on a fixed income.
Just curious as to what your thoughts are on this. It’s been a good six weeks since I’ve had a proper shower, and I find no justification for it other than I don’t enjoy it. — UNSHOWERED IN ILLINOIS
DEAR UNSHOWERED: If I thought your quirk could be solved as easily as buying a portable heater for your bathroom, I would suggest it. You state that you suffer from depression “like everyone else.” From the mail I receive, people do have problems interacting with interpersonal relationships, workplace issues, etc., but they do NOT “all” suffer from depression.
Although you live on a fixed income, you could benefit from discussing your issue with a licensed psychotherapist. Help is available on a sliding financial scale through your county’s department of mental health or your local university with a department of psychology. While medication might help you overcome your depression, getting to the root of your shower avoidance will likely happen once you start talking.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.