27 S. Portland Avenue
Photo-Illustration: Curbed; Photos: Corcoran

Listen, it’s not as though getting an apartment in New York has ever been easy. But one could probably argue it has never been harder than it is right now. The most god-awful studios are regularly renting for thousands and thousands of dollars with lines of interested tenants out the door. Here, we’ll find the actually worth-looking-ats, the actually worth-the-costs, and the surprisingly affordable-for-those-parquet-floors from around the internet. 

The theme this week is … small. (Sorry — I really tried.) I stuck around Brooklyn, traveling from Greenpoint to Cobble Hill to Park Slope, but it seems we’ll all have to relocate to Midwood if we want to keep rent below $4,000 and square footage above 800. Also: StreetEasy is apparently getting into the reservations game and is offering a 20-year lead time. Want to book a table at Gage & Tollner in 2046? Well, now you can.

Anyway — go Knicks!

$3,875, 1-bedroom: Teensy-tiny brownstone apartment with admitted charm — preserved details, fireplace, and a fantastic claw-foot tub.

$2,895, studio: Same address, different apartment. This time, a gorgeous, bright, and oh-so-small studio with some of the best wainscoting and hardwoods I’ve seen this week.

533 Washington Avenue
Photo: Camelot Realty Group

$3,600, studio: The price for the size sucks, but the apartment itself is grand in that near–Fort Greene Park way.

27 S. Portland Avenue
Photo: Corcoran

$13,500, 2-bedroom: Fugly and fabulous.

533 Leonard Street
Photo: Compass

$3,650, 3-bedroom: Something about Greenpoint really transports me to being an undergrad at college in upstate New York — this clapboard house especially, with its surely homemade deck and its multicolored rooms.

$8,000, 3-bedroom: Sort of gorgeous, newly renovated apartment with a washer dryer on the second floor of a classic Greenpoint clapboard building.

210 Franklin Street
Photo: Aretz Development LLC

$4,100, 1-bedroom: The first image holds promise (see casement windows, outdoor access, darkly stained wood floors). Then things get hairy when they veer off in the gray and astroturf direction.

$3,500, 1-bedroom: Another charming and impossibly small brownstone one-bedroom.

$8,500, 2-bedroom: Upper duplex brownstone apartment with rounded curves and cheap blond finishes that I would take over cheap mahogany any day. Two-bathroom alert.

$6,500, 2-bedroom: Perfectly nice, very adult apartment (and price) with a shared deck and only one bathroom.

341 Sixth Street
Photo: Douglas Elliman

$4,500, 1-bedroom: Very polished, architect-forward one-bedroom. The big flex here is probably the four-window bedroom. And the address.

218 Baltic Street
Photo: Corcoran

$3,500, studio: I’m sorry, but she’s adorable.

70 Remsen Street
Photo: Compass

$6,250, 3-bedroom: A run-down loft-adjacent apartment with private roof access.

$3,300, 2-bedroom: A big (yes, you heard me correctly, big), unabashedly comfortable Midwood rental with a huge kitchen, all that good parquet, and a private balcony.

$1,700, studio: Cheap and not so small. Imagine?

$3,500, 2-bedroom: A classic Midwood full-service situation — doorman, rooftop pool, basketball court, resident library, and a balcony. And another two-bathroom alert. Are we moving to Midwood yet?

1401 Ocean Avenue
Photo: Padsters Realty LLC

$6,500, 2-bedroom: Passive house fancy with claw-foot tub!

96 St. Marks Avenue
Photo: Courtesy of the owner

$3,600, 1-bedroom: Good old trusty prewar for the win.

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