Editor’s note: This story is part of Peak, The Athletic’s desk covering leadership, personal development and success through the lens of sports. Follow Peak here.
When the call came in 2011, Dayton Moore was at home on his treadmill. Moore, the general manager of the Kansas City Royals at the time, remembers that detail for a very good reason: It’s not every day a player tells you he’s going to walk away from $12 million.
The caller was Gil Meche, a starting pitcher Moore and the Royals had signed in 2007 for $55 million over five years. Other teams had offered Meche four-year contracts, so the Royals tacked on an extra year to close the deal. At the time, it was the richest contract in franchise history. (A columnist for ESPN wrote that Meche’s signing “received worse reviews than Eddie Murphy’s performance in ‘Norbit.’ ”)
Meche made the All-Star team in his first season and was just as good in his second season. But a back injury limited him during his third season, in 2009, and his shoulder failed him in 2010.
Heading into the offseason of the fifth and final year of the contract, Meche and Moore had agreed that Meche would pitch out of the bullpen. Then Moore received the call from Meche that afternoon in 2011 to announce his retirement and walk away from the remaining $12 million on his contract.
“Gil’s exact words to me were: ‘You signed me as a starter and I can’t fulfill that obligation. I’m not going to take that money as a relief pitcher,’” Moore said.
Meche was in a very fortunate situation financially. He had already made an estimated $50 million in his career, an unfathomable amount for most of us. Still, $12 million is $12 million.
I’ve always wanted to discuss that decision with Meche and hear his perspective on it all these years later. So I was pleasantly surprised when he agreed to hop on the phone, and even more surprised at the direction of our conversation.
Then, last week, Scottie Scheffler raised questions about happiness and fulfillment — some of the same questions Meche and I dove into. If you haven’t yet, check out colleague Rustin Dodd’s Q&A with Harvard’s Arthur Books that was based on Scheffler’s comments. We didn’t plan it this way, but Rustin’s interview ties in nicely to the conversation I had with Meche.
I have to start with the most obvious thing: You walked away from $12 million. Why?
Wow, pretty blunt, huh?
(Laughs) Let’s get right into it!
Realizing I wasn’t helping the team much, it started to just build on my conscience.
When I signed that contract, I realized that I was going to be 32 at the end of it. I had played since I was 17, out of high school. I thought at the time I signed it, I might retire anyway, just to spend more time with my kids.
January came around in 2011, and I just didn’t have it in me to start wanting to throw again. Even if I would have had a decent year out of the bullpen, the amount of money just didn’t seem right.
And let’s be real: The Royals paid me a good amount of money. Dayton gave me a good contract, which kind of shocked the world at that time. Honestly, it shocked me, too.
When I wasn’t performing the way I wanted to, man, when I got home that offseason, I felt it in my heart that it was my time to walk away. I talked to my dad about it; I talked to my agent about it. He was obviously a little shocked, but he said: “You know, Gil, I’ve had your back your whole career. If this is something in your heart that you need to do, I’m totally with you.”
Over all these years, dude — gosh, it’s been 15 years — looking back, that money would have benefited a lot of people, my kids being number one. But I never ever could tell you that I’ve regretted that decision.
I was going to ask you that.
No. I know it got a lot of publicity and all that stuff, but to me, I didn’t want it to be looked at like that. It was just the right decision at the right time for me and my family. And I also wanted to pay respect to the Royals and to Dayton, all those guys that believed in me.
You still earned a substantial amount of money throughout your career. Ninety-nine percent of people who read this are going to say, “Well, you still made $40 million” or whatever the number is. But $12 million is still a ton of money. With the benefit of hindsight and reflection, did you learn anything about values versus money?
I’m still learning that when you have nice things, what is really needed and what isn’t needed?
I’ve bought a beach house down in Florida. I bought a nice boat at one point. All these things that I’ve bought, that I really wanted in my lifetime, you still realize those are really things you don’t need.
Actually, I’m currently trying to sell the house I’m in. It’s in a nice neighborhood on a golf course, but it’s a little too big for what I need now. The kids are getting older and they’re in college. I have some land, about 42 acres with a beautiful pond, and that’s also something I’m selling.
You kind of get to a point in your life where you realize: Did I really need this or was that something I purchased just to make me feel good? And they did! I had a great time with some of the things I’ve owned. But they’re just not needed.
The older I get, I want to simplify my life more and more.
But looking back at the amount of money it was, trust me, now that my kids are in college and wanting to graduate and get jobs, there are many times I think: “OK, if they start making $200,000 a year and have extremely good jobs, that’s going to take them a while to make $12 million. …”
So I do think that way sometimes. It’s like: “Man, was that the right decision for my children?” For me, it definitely was. But then again, I also want my kids to have their own lives and make their own money and achieve their own dreams and goals.
What was Dayton Moore’s and the Royals’ reaction?
He was kind of like everybody else: “Why? What’s your thoughts on this? Are you sure?”
Dayton was an amazing person, not just for a front-office person but as a guy to go to and chat with. So he wanted to make sure that what I was doing was right for me and my family.
But it was obviously a shock. He just couldn’t quite comprehend what I was doing. He was like: “Gil, that’s a lot of money.” I said: “Dayton, I understand that, dude. I really do. But you gave me an opportunity to pitch in Kansas City, and I did the best I could until I started getting hurt. In a way, this is my respect back to the organization — and to myself. Because I had to live with knowing I was making all that money.”
Let’s not forget, in 2009 and 2010, I had awful years. I had barely pitched. I still made a lot of money. So by that time, it had been wearing on me for a lot of years. It wasn’t like it was just a split decision. It had been two years of this feeling that I just didn’t want to feel anymore. That was a big part of it, too.
Gil Meche was a valuable starting pitcher for the Kansas City Royals before injuries hampered him and forced him to reckon with what he valued. (G. Newman Lowrance / Getty Images)
In your experience, what do you think the key to happiness is?
The key to happiness. Um, gosh. I think everybody tries to figure that one out.
I know. The reason I ask is that I know I sometimes think, ‘If I just made more money.’ If I could have more things …
That’s what I was about to say. But I think what’s more important is if you can have inner peace within yourself and not look to other things to fulfill happiness. I’m talking from a person to a boat to land or a beach house.
Those are just things you think might fill a void in your life, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t.
Lately, for me, I have this 42-acre land that I literally grass cut. I cut the whoooole thing. It looks like a golf course. I could be sitting on my tractor and just going at it for 6, 7, 8 hours that day and there are times during that day when I think: Man, this is kind of fulfilling me. I’m seeing what I’m doing and I’m accomplishing my goal for the day.
This almost makes me sad inside, but even as you’re talking and saying that about a boat and a beach house not fulfilling you, I have to admit that there’s a part of me that’s still going: Man, but if I had that stuff, I would be so happy!
I’m not saying it didn’t make me happy. I bet you I had that beach house for three or four years. I had my boat for two or three years. It gave me happiness to the extent that I really look at myself as an entertainer.
What I mean by that is, when you’re from Lafayette, La., our Cajun culture, we love to cook for people. We loooove entertaining people. We love doing for people. If I go to somebody’s house and they cook me dinner, I find myself cleaning their kitchen.
So when I had my beach house, I loved when people came and I was able to give them some joy. Same thing with the boat.
But the point I’m making is, when you realize at a certain time that it’s not really fulfilling you in the way that it had, that’s when I look at myself in the mirror and think: OK, do I really need this?
I can relate to that only in the sense that I’ve had thoughts before: If I just put out a story and people think it’s great, it’s going to make me happy.
Because you’re realizing you’re doing something that you’re able to show yourself that you’re able to do things to a great ability. Look, I can’t write an article. I mean, I’m not stupid. But when I read your guys’ stories and the way you blend sentences and thoughts, it is an achievement. You guys have great jobs.
But my point is that fades and the way you felt before that story is the way you’re still going to feel. To your point, when you use external things to try to fulfill yourself or fill a void, it’s so temporary. You’ll always end up chasing it.
If you look at it this way, the more you achieve in life, the more money you get, it seems that your car gets better and better and better. But if you look back at your high school car, how happy were you just to have a car?
Your first house, you were way more ecstatic to have that than the big home 30 years down the road. The things that you get early in life are so important because they’re all first.
I loved my truck that I had in high school more than anything I’ve ever owned.
What are you most proud of from your career?
If I look back at my life, I can tell you that at the age of 7, when I first stepped on a T-ball field, the love for that game was already there. I was throwing rocks at 3 or 4 years old, throwing tennis balls against walls before I could even play on a team.
So when I started playing, man, I loved it so much that I would do anything I could in my power to get better. Running sprints down the street or doing pushups — anything I could do that I thought would make me better on the field, I would do.
And then you get to high school and the grind gets harder and then I signed with Seattle and it becomes a job. It becomes a daily routine that you can’t ever let up on.
I’m going to tell you, the wear and tear on your body, the mental side of things, is extremely tough. We know y’all are watching. We know our fans are watching, and we want to impress our fans. We want to impress our teammates, our organization and even ourselves because we know what we’re capable of doing.
So I’m just proud of how hard I worked.
You know what you never mentioned once?
What’s that?
Money.
Aw, no. I think working hard comes with benefits like money. In any career. It’s like my daughter right now. She was in her first year at LSU and she said: “Dad, I think I want to be a dentist.”
I was like, “Wow, that’s kind of out of left field, but let’s go with it. Let’s see what happens. Let’s try to achieve that goal. It’s going to be a lot of schooling and let’s go at it.”
You have to work hard. You must achieve goals to attain certain things in life. You’ve got to put in time and effort to try to achieve all those things you think you can do.
And, look, not everybody achieves them. It doesn’t always work out in everybody’s favor. But you’ve got to keep plugging along and work the best you can to get there.
But money? I feel blessed anytime I can bring someone to dinner and pick up the tab. I feel extremely blessed. I’ve never in my life looked at it as: Here’s Gil showing off because he has money. My dad was able to pay for people and pick things up and entertain people. I always saw what a blessing that was to be able to do for people.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t do it as much. But it does make me feel good that I can do that, that I can help people out and show appreciation towards their friendship.
That’s so much of what life is.
The more we simplify life, that’s when I think you’re going to find the most happiness. You asked me that question earlier. The most simple your life can be, it’s going to come with a lot less headaches.
And don’t buy a boat. Because that thing comes with a lot of problems.
(Illustration: Kelsea Petersen / The Athletic; Photo: Harry How / Getty)