Catwalk on the Wild Side
Season 22
Episode 4
Editor’s Rating
2 stars
**
An incredibly frustrating Project Runway episode showcases all of this season’s limitations.
Photo: Spencer Pazer/Disney
For the most part, I am softer on this season of Project Runway than the (welcome) commenters on these recaps seem to be. I agree that this show is not what it once was, but the Bravo days are long gone, as are the days when reality shows had the type of budget Project Runway once enjoyed. I also think if you go back and watch the early seasons, as commenter rosieg pointed out, you’ll be surprised by how braggadocious and self-involved many of the competitors were. Influencer culture didn’t exist yet, but some designers were cruel and catty, even without the current omnipresent evil of social media. All this to say, I’m taking each week of Project Runway for what it is: a diminished show with a cliffhanger format meant to keep us watching week to week that is still breezily paced, still introduces me to people making interesting clothes, and still gives me some Christian Siriano time. I don’t watch any other lifestyle reality shows anymore, but my patience for Project Runway is endless.
Or maybe almost endless because “Catwalk on the Wild Side” really made me laugh but in the scoffing, depressed way you laugh when something ludicrous happens that you wish you were never exposed to, like Donald Trump saying he’s running for a fourth term or the fact that halloumi cheese at my grocery store now costs $15. In retrospect, my complaints about the NFL-inspired episode last week feel quaint because I have much greater beef with “Catwalk on the Wild Side.” Bringing in reality stars as this week’s models and then not giving the designers who were negatively affected by the — I’ll say it — self-involvedness or general inconvenience of the reality stars any extra design time was really crappy. I watch The Great British Baking Show; I’ve seen contestants get extra time when something malfunctions in the tent. Sarah Jane Nader smears her full-body bronzer all over Bi and Jude’s outfits and ruins them and they don’t get any restitution? Stassi Schroeder doesn’t show up, meaning Aaron and Anna have to completely remake their outfits for her replacement model with only a few hours to go, and them’s the breaks? I am sure the judges, if pressed on this, would say on a real runway, designers have to edit on the fly if models don’t show up, too. But Project Runway is not real life! It’s a show that is supposed to provide a level playing field for its contestants. “Catwalk on the Wild Side” failed to do that.
Let’s close the loop on last week: The judges send home Chloe and Andriy for their work on the NFL challenge. For Andriy, they said he failed as a leader, which I don’t think is wrong; even if you disagree on who was right in the Bobby versus Andriy showdown, in general, I don’t think Andriy came up with a cohesive collection vision compared with the other team leaders. Does being safe humble Bobby? Sort of. She makes a big to-do all episode about keeping her emotions in check, but she clearly hates her client, Ekin-Su. I guess it’s good Bobby didn’t lose her temper or cry? Better than nothing? I’ve got low standards here.
Here’s the challenge: Heidi and Christian announce that Project Runway has partnered with the global nonprofit Humane World for Animals (formerly the Humane Society). For this challenge, the designers will support “ethical fashion” — all of their fabrics are “cruelty-free and animal-free” — and will be inspired by an animal in the wild. The fabrics are provided to the designers, and they have five animal options to serve as their muse: arctic wolf, scarlet macaw, mustang, lion, and shark. Two designers will share each animal and a model, and their looks will compete against each other. (The winner gets immunity and an expedition to Canada’s Great Bear Rainforest.) Oh, and their models are all ABC/Hulu/Disney “celebrities” — i.e., reality stars.
- Aaron chooses Anna as his rival; Anna chooses the lion as their muse. Their model is Stassi from House of Stassi, then Chloe (who returns as a model after she’s been eliminated).
- Jeffrey chooses Naheim as his rival; Naheim chooses the shark as their muse. Their model is Veejay Floresca, season 21 Project Runway winner.
- Joseph McRae chooses Bryan as his rival; Bryan chooses the scarlet macaw as their muse. Their model is Charity Lawson from The Bachelorette.
- Bi chooses Jude as his rival; Jude chooses the arctic wolf as their muse. Their model is Sarah Jane Nader from Love Thy Nader.
- Elizabeth chooses Bobby as her rival; the mustang is left as their muse. Their model is Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu from Vanderpump Villa.
The designers have only one day to create this look — no surprise there. Joseph is using a black-and-neon-green floral print to make a wing-sleeve wrap dress and evoke the freedom of the scarlet macaw, while Bryan is using a (very ugly, very shiny) fuchsia satin to make a gown with a fishtail train to represent the macaw’s feathers. Christian flat out tells Bryan to do anything else because the gown is so boring, but Bryan could not be more disinterested in his advice. Naheim and Jeffrey are both using iridescent sharkskin fabric for their outfits but in very different ways: Naheim is doing an oversize maxi-length overcoat with red-lined gills lined (incredible!), while Jeffrey is putting together a very sharp sleeveless blouse and fitted skirt with precise seaming. I love both outfits immediately. Meanwhile, I hate both Bobby’s and Elizabeth’s: Bobby’s is a flouncy skirt and a knotted shirt straight out of the early-aughts MTV Movie & TV Awards, and Elizabeth’s is a full-length dress made out of brown faux leather with a bunch of long plaits swinging off it. The fabrics look cheap, and the looks are costumey as hell. It’s a poor showing from both designers, IMO.
Let’s talk about the outfits that get ruined or made irrelevant! Stassi has a vague “conflict,” so at what looks like the end of the first day, Aaron and Anna have to entirely remake their outfits for Chloe’s measurements. Anna has better luck redoing her pantsuit than Aaron has redoing his crop top and wrap skirt; he’s forced to make a new skirt that doesn’t entirely fit Chloe, so she’s basically at risk of flashing everyone. Meanwhile, Bi and Jude both realize after Sarah Jane tries on their white outfits that her body makeup has smeared all over their looks — the fur accents on Jude’s and the all-white fabric of Bi’s tube dress are ruined — and they have to start over, too. We don’t see any production interference to deal with this; it seems like the reaction from Project Runway is “tough shit, keep going,” and this is the point in my notes where I wrote, “What a shitshow — how to even rate this episode?,” in case you wanted a peek behind the curtain.
Runway time! Veejay is a great model and sells Naheim’s and Jeffrey’s outfits, which are both really fashionable and exciting; Jeffrey’s burgundy suit is very femme-fatale Ursula. Ekin-Su also does a good job making Elizabeth’s and Bobby’s tacky designs look less ridiculous than they are, twirling around in both and really engaging with the outfits’ flouncy and flowing shapes. The less said about Bryan’s horrendously gauche fuchsia-and-gold dress with puffy armholes and halter neck the better. I thought some other outfits were underwhelming, like Bi’s very nicely made but very sedate dress, but Bryan’s was the only one that actively made me mad. And here’s what else made me mad: the judging. Now, when we talk about the judging, we’re also talking about the editing. We’re seeing an edited selection of the judges’ comments about these outfits; I refuse to believe that when Law calls something ugly, that’s the only critique he’s providing. Maybe I’m completely wrong! Maybe Law just insults something and then shuts up! But I think Project Runway is giving us this brusque and limited curation exactly to make us mad and get us talking. And it’s really frustrating in an episode like this — when we know Anna’s, Aaron’s, Bi’s, and Jude’s hands were tied because of their models — that those problems don’t matter during judging. Instead, we have Law calling Aaron’s outfit “disgusting” and Heidi calling Bryan’s dress a “ruched worm.” I agree with the latter, sure. But I still think the contestants, and we, as viewers, deserve some substantive critique with all workroom context provided.
Here’s where everyone stands by the cliffhanger ending: Anna, Jude, and Joseph win their head-to-heads unanimously, and they’re all safe; Jude wins for his sleeveless moto-style top and paneled swingy skirt. Bobby and Naheim win their head-to-heads in split decisions, so they and Elizabeth and Jeffrey are safe. That leaves Bryan, Bi, and Aaron up for elimination, and I think it’s either Bryan or Aaron going home. I don’t love Aaron’s outfit, but I thought the problems with it came down to time and construction, whereas Bryan’s entire vision was wrong. But knowing how these shows work, Aaron will probably go home and Bryan and Bi will make it to the final to continue their rivalry there. Yes, what you hear is me making the same disgruntled sound as when I saw that $15 halloumi.
• I didn’t mind the Humane World for Animals fabric Christian used for his New York Fashion Week look. It would be cute for a backpack.
• Naheim starting fight clubs, Jeffrey winning beauty pageants — I want them to be unlikely best friends.
• Chloe really was a good sport. They should have at least paid her whatever the model fee is per episode!
• Ekin-Su had some zingers: She called Elizabeth’s outfit “Rapunzel on steroids” and compared Bobby’s to a Pirates of the Caribbean Halloween costume. Can she be the fourth judge? Or at least replace Tyra, who, for some reason, was wearing teal velvet gloves as part of her judging outfit on a show about cutting-edge fashion?
• I’m impressed that no one eventually lost it with Joseph and told him to shut the hell up with all of his incessant cacawing.
• Christian was right that Bryan’s outfit resembled “a prom dress you can buy anywhere” before it had the gold accents; Bryan was wrong when he said he was “trying to make haute couture.” For who, Bib Fortuna?
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