It’s another Tuesday, which means it’s time for the column that has more complaints than a nursing home after the power goes out during a Matlock marathon, The Gripe Report.

I don’t know about you, but I listen to a lot of music when I’m doing pretty much everything.

Working? Tunes.

Driving? Tunes.

Walking around my neighborhood for exercise? Tunes… and occasionally podcasts.

Have a gripe? Send it in!: matthew.reigle@outkick.com

Everyone has their favorite kinds of music, but I want to talk about specific music-related things that drive me nuts.

And since I’m the sheriff of this here Gripe Report — *Hocks a loogie in a spitoon* — that’s what we’re going to do…

“Now this is a numbwe I can really tap my toe to. I think I’ll turn it up so that everyone within a 1-mile blast radius of my car can hear it.” (Getty Images)

People Who Blast Music Loud

The great thing about music is that your taste in it is unique to you. So, that means the odds are others won’t want to hear the same things as you. This is why I find people who blast their car stereo so loud that it can be heard in neighboring counties to be some of the most obnoxious people on the road.

For some reason, I rarely hear what I would deem “good” music getting blasted out of a car. It’s always some ultra-bassy dance music or something that I hate. 

I never hear Black Sabbath getting blasted out of a car. I’d at least appreciate that… Rest in peace, Ozzy.

“You Can’t Stop Me” Rock Songs

One of the great things about music is that you can write a song about whatever you want. There are, however, a few things that bug the bejeezus out of me as far as hacky, overdone song topics/themes.

The first one is what I call a “You Can’t Stop Me” song, and it is a scourge on rock radio these days. I use this term to describe any song that is just saying no one is going to stop you/me/us from doing whatever it is you/I/we do. They also just talk about not giving up, because that’s something that hasn’t been discussed before.

My problem with this is that if these are the only topics you can think of to write about — tired platitudes and clichés — maybe don’t write a song or try to find inspiration literally anywhere else. A few that come to mind are “Indestructible” by Disturbed, “The Mountain” by Three Days Grace, and “Never Again” by Breaking Benjamin. Not terrible songs musically, but thematically? 

Belch.

I find that very successful bands start to write these songs a few albums in, once they’re making plenty of money and have used up most of their good ideas.

Kiss’ “Rock And Roll Nite” is one of the premiere rock songs about rocking. (Photo by Michael Ochs Archives/Getty Images)

Rock Songs About Rocking

The other topic that drives me nuts is any rock song about rocking. If a band can’t even come up with a “You Can’t Stop Me”/”Don’t Give Up” song, they just throw up their hands and say, “F–k it, let’s just do one about rocking.”

It’s rock’s version of country music songs about trucks, ex-wives, and cold Coors Light, and rap songs about money and large asses. Here’s my thing: don’t tell me you’re going to rock, just start rocking. It will be very clear to all parties once you start whether or not you’re rocking.

There are some very popular rock songs about rocking — “I Love Rock ‘N Roll,” “Rock ‘N Roll All Nite,” etc. — but I want to hear a little more originality than playing music about the music you play.

How Every Reggaeton Song Has the Exact Same Beat (at Least to My Ears)

Boom, Da-boom-da-boom, Da-boom-da-boom…

No, that’s not someone trying to remember the name of one of Kid Rock’s biggest hits. That’s me trying to phonetically write out the beat for what is — as far as I am aware — every reggaeton song ever written.

If you’re not familiar with reggaeton, don’t get it mixed up with reggae (which I’m also not big on). Reggaeton is like a Spanish-style of hip-hop popular in places like Puerto Rico. Obviously, despite four years of high school Spanish classes and a semester in college, I have no clue what they’re saying.

I can, however, ask where the bathroom is, which is muy importante. Anyway, I had a roommate in college who was into reggaeton, and I would hear it blasting through my dorm wall while I was trying to eat microwaved mac and cheese in solitude.

It drove me crazy that because I was mostly hearing the bass and the beat thumping through the wall, it sounded like the same song over and over and over and over… It was not, it’s just that, for whatever reason, this is the agreed-upon reggaeton beat.

There are other repetitive music genres, some of which I happen to like. Take blues music, for instance. A lot of songs are structured the same, but at least the keys and drum patterns change. With reggaeton, it’s the same thing for every song, at least to my ears.

I blame Billie Eilish for the disturbing rise in whisper singing (also for people wearing shirts that are too big. Buy something that fits). (Photo by Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images for Live Nation)

Whisper Singing

This is something that’s popular today, and I can’t stand it. I blame Billie Eilish (which is also the title of my upcoming book of essays on how Gen Z ruined America), because whenever I think of singers who whisper too much, she’s the one I think of.

If you’re going to sing, sing! Don’t whisper into the studio mic like you’re trying not to wake the neighbors. 

I don’t have more to say than that, which is good because that was already “Old Man Yells At Cloud” enough…

Repetitive Radio

I’ve tried to make a habit of listening to the radio when I drive lately. It feels nice to listen to some good ol’ fashioned frequency modulation radio like the pioneers used to. 

Plus, who wouldn’t want to listen to Spotify that they pay for and can play just about any song ever recorded in an instant, when you can listen to the same 40-50 songs that someone else picked for free?

That’s my problem with radio, and, unfortunately, I think I’m just wasting my breath with this one, because the radio industry will completely die before they change how they program music. My local rock station plays what seems by my unofficial count to be about 65% Red Hot Chili Peppers, Linkin Park, The Offspring, and Foo Fighters.

Every single time I’m in the car, I hear at least three of those four, and I’ve even heard a song on the way to my destination and then heard another one by the same band on the way home. 

Can we spread it out a little bit? I know that these playlists are sometimes focus-grouped to death, but can we just bench the Chili Peppers for a few hours (or forever… I kid, kind of) after you play them?

Just give me more variety, and would an occasional deep cut kill you? 

I heard them play Metallica’s “Harvester of Sorrow” the other night, and the fact that they didn’t just play “Enter Sandman” for the 11 billionth time, made me want to hug someone.

…

Whew, I need to cleanse my palate with some good tunes. Might throw a Clutch album on the ol’ record player.

Anyway, thanks as always for checking out The Gripe Report, and if you’ve got a gripe of your own, send it in for a future edition: matthew.reigle@outkick.com