If you’re a weekend warrior looking to escape San Antonio, the Hill Country offers more than just wine tastings. The rolling hills hide some of the most unique properties in the world. From safari ranches with rhinos to a life-sized bird’s nest, these are the weirdest, wildest, and most unforgettable places to rest your head in Texas — because your hotel should be as memorable as your road trip.
Cypress Valley — Spicewood
If you’ve ever wanted to build a treehouse, but only had a few spindly saplings in your suburban backyard, this adventurous hideaway might cure some lifelong FOMO. With a winding tangle of rope bridges and trellises, the compound might look like a particularly elaborate rope course, but the rooms are more Jane than Tarzan. Snap a few shots of the distressed wood walls and oversized pendants for post-trip design inspo, then turn the cell phone off for the weekend.
Yes, you can sleep in this wagon.Barons Creekside/ Facebook
Barons CreekSide Glamping Wagons — Fredericksburg
Yes, playing The Oregon Trail video game caused a generation to distrust covered wagons, and the iffy salad bars at K-Bob’s probably didn’t help. These replica Conestoga settler’s wagons don’t have a risk of typhoid fever. The 220 square feet spaces have roomy showers, sinks, and all the conveniences of home. But guests will probably want to spend most of their time outdoors, lounging in a hammock near the fire pit.
Longneck Manor — Fredericksburg
You might expect to find goats, cows, and chickens on a Hill Country ranch. Longneck ups the ante with ambling rhinos and wagging Labradors. Founded by Rick Barongi, a former director at the Houston Zoo, the safari resort works with conservation groups to quell any Joe Exotic-style ethical concerns. Overstuffed furnishings and luxe linens give all the comforts of a high-end hotel, but there are some amenities that the Four Seasons can’t replicate. The suite offers a private window into the barn, where baby giraffes happily munch on leaves.
Missing Hotel — Marble Falls
If Swiss Family Robinson’s hardworking patriarch studied Modernist architecture, he might have drafted something like this Marble Falls enclave. The various cabins and geodesic domes may have urban niceties, but the canopy of old-growth trees is light-years from the hustle and bustle. Don’t expect to make a stay into a working vacation — even the owners admit the Wi-Fi is spotty. Instead, give yourself the permission to forget about time by taking a dip in a private plunge pool or swaying along to a record.
The Diamond is Onera Fredericksburg’s unique take on an A-Frame. Photo by Jeff Jones
Onera — Fredericksburg
This Hill Country resort is a CultureMap obsession, both for the breathtaking natural setting and the avant-garde architecture. In August, the spot debuted 23 new units with striking geometric forms that look more like minimalistic monoliths than buildings. Inside, the owners provide few distractions. Why nibble on tchotchkes when you can feast on spectacular vistas?
Skybox Cabins — Glen Rose
Although all of the cabins on this compound have charming themes, ranging from a tribute to 17th-century French pigeonniers to buzzy pollinators, the most coveted is The Nest. It isn’t just a catchy name. Guests can actually perch in a human-sized aerie outfitted with pillows and twinkle lights. Bring up a portable speaker and cuddle into a tête-à-tête. Recommended listening: Billie Eilish’s “Birds of a Feather.”
Recharge your batteries at the Kerrville Texaco Station.Photo courtesy of Kerrville Convention and Visitors Bureau
Texaco Texaco Station — Kerrville
Yes, you read that right. You can actually spend the night in a repurposed Texaco gas station without having to wear a pair of coveralls. The 40s building is pure Americana, filled with quirky touches like a Dr. Pepper machine, a row of sporty vintage toys, and a trash can fashioned from a Mobil oil drum. And the recreational areas could be pulled straight out of Life magazine. Put on a bowling shirt and play table tennis or grill hot dogs inside a courtyard sodded with artificial turf.