Wayne Holtz helped cultivate a queer music scene in San Antonio. Credit: Zachary Smith
I don’t think any of us were ready for the ceiling to open up and witness a celestial being descend upon the crowd in a shower of neon rainbow lights and pulsing bass drum kicks,” I wrote in 2016 for the Current’s LGBTQ+ sister publication, Out in SA.
“I’m at a Wayne Holtz show at Paper Tiger, and a single thought has established itself the leader of all other thoughts firing through my consciousness: ‘This motherfucker is jump-roping on stage.’”
Now, nine years later, that stellar performer is gone. Late last month, news trickled in that Holtz, who’d since relocated to Saranac Lake, New York, had died unexpectedly on a West Coast trip to visit friends.
Many in San Antonio are still trying to make sense of the loss. With a baritone croon that echoed Joy Division’s Ian Curtis’ Holtz commanded the stage as a solo performer, delivering full-throttle shows no matter the size of the venue. Each was accompanied by a whirlwind of costume changes that could rival your favorite drag queen, VMAs-ready choreography and an electronic-pop soundtrack that could teleport you straight to famed Berlin nightclub Berghain.
At the point I wrote my Out in SA piece on Holtz, I had only met him as a choreographer and a photographer who documented the city’s indie-rock landscape. That night, however, I witnessed the sheer star power he possessed as a performer.
That understanding grew deeper as I became part of an emerging queer music scene in San Antonio that included not just Holtz but singer Alyson Alonzo, electro outfit Pink Leche andvogue performance collective House of Kenzo. We regularly collaborated and booked each other for events at venues such as the now-shuttered La Botanica, Brick at Blue Star and Paper Tiger.
No question, Holtz made a huge impact as we worked to build that community.
“He did something that nobody else was doing,” Alonzo said of our late friend. “I’ll always think of him as someone who just had it. People talk about [having] that thing, and he had it. He was such a star.”
Unabashed and androgynous, Holtz radiated brilliance wherever he was. Even when he wasn’t onstage, he boasted a wardrobe worthy of his concert performances — dresses, elaborate headpieces, ensembles fit for a Disney villainess. But it wasn’t just his art and fashion that made a lasting and glittering imprint on San Antonio. Holtz’s charm, humility and determination to lift up other artists made him someone you could easily fall into a friendship with.
“Wayne was such a sweetie, you know? Humble,” said Travis Buffkin, vocalist and guitarist for country act The Texases and one-time music editor for the Current.
Wayne Holtz’s shows often incorporated multiple costume changes. Credit: Erik Casarez
Buffkin befriended Holtz after writing an article about him for the Current and went on to feature him in a music video for the song “Doin’ Life.”
Buffkin likened Holtz’ larger-than-life stage persona to the discipline of drag artists, performers who are expected to put on a multifaceted show drawing on many talents.
“You just see these queens that are really brilliant and they have all these skills,” he said. “They’re comedic geniuses and they’re making their own costumes and doing their own makeup, you know? They’re like pop culture polymaths. And that’s to me what Wayne was. Capable of doing a fucking podcast, getting huge stars on there, being compelling, doing pop and doing it really well, you know?”
Beyond that, Buffkin recalls his friend as a “cheerleader for the whole San Antonio scene.”
“I’m like oh my God, we didn’t deserve him.”
San Antonio Poet Laureate 2020-2023 Andrea “Vocab” Sanderson remembers Holtz’ generous spirit. Even amid the chaos of producing his elaborate shows, he hung onto an admirable calmness and was able to offer encouragement to others.
“Somewhere in between all of this, you would find him in a greenroom giving a pep talk to someone having a minor meltdown or some seasoned life advice for an artist questioning their value. Myself included,” she said. “I was at a show with Wayne one time where he danced so hard he split his pants right at the crotch seam. He kept right on working, split pants and all.”
However, Holtz’s legacy extends beyond his charisma and pop-star prowess.
His role in queering Alamo City culture demands recognition and reverence. As an unapologetically queer Black man writing pop music in South Texas, Holtz used his music to tell stories of his intersecting layers of identity and marginalization. His performances and persona carved out space for others like him to live freely and openly.
“Going out looking glam in a good dress / Boys thinking that I’m looking like a hot mess,” Holtz sang on his tune “Black Attack.” “They’re saying, ‘Hey isn’t he Black?’ / dressed up like a sissy, and isn’t that wack?”
“Watching him inspire and encourage people to be themselves, especially in the queer community has been an ongoing formative experience,” said Bobby Rivas, Holtz’s former guitar player and current member of self-described “party punk” outfit HoneyBunny. “His life was one of the greatest things I’ve ever witnessed, and I can’t believe I was a part of it.”
Girl in a Coma’s Nina Diaz told the Current that Holtz actually helped choreograph the music video for her pop-leaning 2016 solo track “Trick Candle.” At the time, she was struggling
to find her footing without a guitar in hand, and Holtz’s guidance helped her feel grounded and sure of herself.
“He helped me get in touch with my body again,” Diaz said. “He just made you feel you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing.”
Even after Holtz relocated to New York, he continued to be supportive of the San Antonio musicscene. After starting up music gathering Fall Fun Fest in his newly adopted town, he invited Diaz, Rivas, Alonzo and Nicky Diamonds of Lonely Horse to play the festivals’ 2024 and 2025 installments.
“He was on a mission to do what he does best: to bring the community together,” Holtz’s cousin Alex Jefferson Daring said. “[Fall Fun Fest] was just one example of this.”
Cultural architect, fashion maven and beloved friend to so many, Holtz’s memory will remain with those whose lives he touched. That includes not just friends and family but anyone lucky enough to witness the extraordinary spectacle of a live performance.
Diaz recalls watching Holtz’s set at the inaugural Fall Fun Fest and being struck again by just how extraordinary he was, especially against the beautiful natural backdrop of the stage.
“The forest and fall leaves were behind him,” she said. “The sun was beautiful and he’s dancing, and there’s little children around and it’s like, ‘This is Wayne! He is a magical creature
and he’s here in his element just being amazing and out of this world.’”
A public memorial celebrating Holtz’s life will take place at 8 p.m. Saturday, Nov. 22, at Brick at the Blue Star. The gathering will include live music and displays of Holtz’s art in addition to food and drink. For more information, contact Alexandra Jefferson Darring at alexjdarring@gmail.com or Kat Trujillo at music@kattrujillo.com.
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