That running feud I have with my brother about which is the more ideal coast has turned in my favor.
Yet he continues to promote Brooklyn bliss, even though it’s 4 degrees there, but with the wind-chill factor, it’s 15 below.
With falling snow.
More accurately, it’s no longer snow as it has turned into shards of ice rocketing from the sky.
Calling firing ice “falling,” I suggest, would be inaccurate.
News reports describe the deluge as “thunder sleet.”
I asked my brother to send me photos, so I can appreciate a sight we never have an opportunity to observe locally.
Front of house in San Diego. (Irv Erdos / For The San Diego Union-Tribune)
I inform him that it’s 80 degrees here. “But with the wind-chill factor,” I report, “it’s still 80.”
It’s part of a continuing debate we’ve been having ever since I left New York. It’s my continued attempt to reinforce my argument that there is such a thing called “sun.”
I told him we’ve been busy making sandwiches, as we’re planning to enjoy a day at the beach.
And while we’re picnicking at the shore, my brother will be busy shoveling the drifts that have piled up at his door, all in an effort to finally provide egress.
At least there’s no need to spend an hour or so shoveling out his car, as was the burden he was tasked with in the past, but it was stolen back in 2020.
Irv Erdos’ brother’s street in Brooklyn. (Edward Erdos)
It’s one of the few examples of good fortune that has finally been bestowed upon my brother.
Regrettably, there’s a layer of ice below the snow, which he was unable to penetrate, so he gave up the effort.
The good news is that the weather will naturally take care of the icy landscape, no later than sometime in June.
I invited him and the family to come to San Diego to spend a period in the sun and warmth, but unfortunately, all flights are canceled.
After he tries his best to clear the snow and ice from the house and sidewalk, he plans on relaxing in front of the TV in the comfort of a warm and cozy home.
But that’s as soon as the blackout ends, electricity returns, heat comes back, and the TV is restored.
Street in San Diego. (Irv Erdos / For The San Diego Union-Tribune)
In the meantime they remain in the dark, wrapped in blankets, similar to the ones we’ve been spreading out on the sand, as we enjoy a day at the beach, with suntan lotion and a picnic basket.
As a sympathetic and compassionate brother, I continue to send him photos of our time at the shore, proving with certainty that the sun is indeed part of our solar system.
Unfortunately, he whines about the pictures and refuses to display them.
Conversely, the snow-covered photos of Brooklyn are proudly displayed throughout my home.
Erdos is a freelance humor columnist. Contact him at irverdos@aol.com.