FLAGSTAFF, Ariz.\u00a0\u2014\u00a0Parent-teacher conferences can conjure a familiar scene: adults crammed into child-size chairs, listening to teachers run through a list of students\u2019 achievements and struggles.<\/p>\n
For many families, they also can mean frustration. Today\u2019s school conferences are sometimes 15 to 20 minutes, with little time for parents to ask their own questions. Adults may arrive with their own baggage about their time in school. They may be worried about being judged or dreading what a teacher may say about their child. <\/p>\n
For teachers, conferences can mean pressure to give a snapshot of a child\u2019s progress, with the next opportunity to connect months away \u2014 if at all.<\/p>\n
The conference may be brief, but it can set the tone for a family\u2019s relationship and partnership with the teacher. Parents, teachers and school administrators have these tips to make the conference productive and help build a stronger connection between home and school.<\/p>\n
Communicate early and figure out what works<\/p>\n
Schools typically offer several early opportunities for parents and teachers to connect, from meet-the-teacher events and back-to-school nights to open houses. By the time conferences are on the calendar, parents and teachers already should be communicating.<\/p>\n
But sometimes it can take weeks, or even months, to hear from your child\u2019s teacher, who must establish relationships with dozens of families. Don\u2019t wait, parents and teachers say. Take the initiative and reach out yourself. <\/p>\n
\u201cDo you want to set your child up for success? It\u2019s a yes or no. And if it\u2019s a yes, then you have to be very involved,\u201d said Bell White, a Houston mother of two.<\/p>\n
When her son Lennox, now 8, was in preschool, four teachers came and went during the school year. White quickly learned how important it was to stay engaged with the school. <\/p>\n
Since then, she has introduced herself to each of her son\u2019s teachers at the first opportunity, even if virtually. She tells them how she prefers to communicate \u2014 whether over email, phone or via a school app \u2014 and when she\u2019s most reachable. <\/p>\n
Technology can make it easier for parents with multiple children or busy schedules to stay connected and for teachers to send quick messages or reminders. But with schools using multiple platforms, some parents say it helps to establish a preferred way to communicate.<\/p>\n
Early in the relationship, parents and teachers should focus on building trust, said J.B. Robinson, a clinical psychologist and dean of students at National University in San Diego. For parents, that can mean showing interest in the classroom and recognizing the effort that goes into creating a positive learning environment. Teachers similarly can begin with questions about the individual child, rather than immediately moving into classroom expectations or academic performance.<\/p>\n
Whatever the nature of your first communication with a teacher, try not to worry that you\u2019re bothering the teacher. Your child\u2019s growth is the priority, and communicating with you is part of the teacher\u2019s job. <\/p>\n
Make the time count<\/p>\n
Parent-teacher conferences are designed to address students\u2019 academic and social progress, identify concerns and discuss what comes next, but there may not be time to cover everything parents or teachers want to discuss.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe teacher and the parent need to go in with realistic expectations as to what can actually be accomplished in one parent-teacher conference and see that more as a starting point for a conversation,\u201d said Robinson, the psychologist.<\/p>\n
The meetings also can be ripe for tension. Teachers may be having dozens of back-to-back conferences, while parents may arrive with weeks\u2019 worth of questions. Depending on the school and the child\u2019s grade, some teachers follow a set agenda, with presentation slides, packets or lists of topics to cover.<\/p>\n
Emily Henderson, who teaches first and second grades at Basis Charter School in Flagstaff, Ariz., says her conversations mostly are individualized, with some focusing more on academics and others on social-emotional needs.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe use parent-teacher conferences to really talk about strengths, talk about weaknesses of students, and then come up with a plan together to address those concerns or address those needs,\u201d Henderson said.<\/p>\n
Given time constraints, parents should come with just a few thoughtful questions, teachers say. But remember this is a starting point. It\u2019s totally reasonable to set up another conference later in the year, even if your school doesn\u2019t have one scheduled. Or you can continue the conversation online or over the phone.<\/p>\n
What to do if your kid is present<\/p>\n
Some schools recommend that students join the conference, and in other cases, a parent may want to bring them along \u2014 or need to, if they lack child care. For younger students, teachers recommend asking in advance whether they should attend, if that is an option. If you do plan to bring the student or younger siblings, let the teacher know ahead of time so they can prepare for a more engaging meeting or set up a few distractions. <\/p>\n
If younger students are present, it is up to administrators and teachers to engage them and speak directly to them, said Kellie Hintze, head of school at Basis Flagstaff.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I have younger students at a meeting, we typically have a mini meeting with the student and the parent,\u201d she said. \u201cThen we can dive a little deeper or have those long, drawn-out conversations that a student wouldn\u2019t want to be a part of or be able to focus through.\u201d<\/p>\n
Older students have more agency over their learning and are better positioned to contribute to discussions about their progress, challenges and possible next steps, experts say.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe\u2019re doing students a disservice when we\u2019re not teaching them how to advocate, when we are not teaching them those communication skills, to have the tough conversations when they need to be had,\u201d said Kendrick Friendly, who is a high school assistant principal with Denver Public Schools. \u201cThis is a safe space for those conversations to happen.\u201d<\/p>\n
Questions to consider<\/p>\n
Parents don\u2019t need to arrive with a long list of questions. A few thoughtful ones can help clarify what a teacher considers success, what they are seeing in the classroom, what support is available and how to stay connected throughout the year.<\/p>\n
Consider asking:<\/p>\n
1. How do you prefer to communicate with parents, and how often should we check in?<\/p>\n
2. What does success look like for my child this year?<\/p>\n
3. How do you identify when a student is falling behind, and who should I speak with about getting additional support?<\/p>\n
4. What are you noticing about my child that I might not see at home?<\/p>\n
Leave with a plan<\/p>\n
Parent-teacher conferences do not resolve every concern, but they should identify next steps, whether those are regular check-ins, strategies for improved behavior or additional resources, such as tutors, specialized instruction or extracurricular activities.<\/p>\n
Before leaving, make sure everyone knows what happens next, who is responsible for it and when you\u2019ll check back in. Don\u2019t be afraid to request another conference later in the year. Remember: Your child\u2019s growth is the priority, and it will take everyone in the room to get there. <\/p>\n
Mumphrey writes for the Associated Press. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"FLAGSTAFF, Ariz.\u00a0\u2014\u00a0Parent-teacher conferences can conjure a familiar scene: adults crammed into child-size chairs, listening to teachers run through…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1008554,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_share_on_mastodon":"0"},"categories":[5123],"tags":[1582,276,4471,2074,3606,2961,11804,224,5337,95852,403794,6976,403793,7544,11645,16464,15689,67016,6620,403795],"class_list":["post-1008553","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-los-angeles","tag-ca","tag-california","tag-child","tag-conference","tag-conversation","tag-la","tag-list","tag-los-angeles","tag-losangeles","tag-many-family","tag-own-question","tag-parent","tag-parent-teacher-conference","tag-relationship","tag-school","tag-school-year","tag-student","tag-teacher","tag-time","tag-young-student"],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/117116409757579866","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1008553","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1008553"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1008553\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1008554"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1008553"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1008553"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1008553"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}