{"id":1013402,"date":"2026-08-20T19:43:17","date_gmt":"2026-08-20T19:43:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/1013402\/"},"modified":"2026-08-20T19:43:17","modified_gmt":"2026-08-20T19:43:17","slug":"my-son-had-a-skateboarding-accident-we-dont-own-a-skateboard-so-my-wife-is-blaming-a-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/1013402\/","title":{"rendered":"My son had a skateboarding accident. We don’t own a skateboard, so my wife is blaming a child."},"content":{"rendered":"

Care and Feeding is Slate\u2019s parenting advice column.\u00a0Have a question for Care and Feeding?\u00a0<\/strong>Submit it here<\/strong><\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Care and Feeding, <\/strong><\/p>\n

My wife, \u201cJolene,\u201d and I have two kids, \u201cKyle,\u201d 6, and \u201cAriel,\u201d 9.\u00a0Last week Ariel\u2019s friend \u201cVanessa\u201d (same age) came over and brought her new skateboard.\u00a0After the girls drifted to another activity, Kyle took the skateboard and tried to ride it in the driveway.\u00a0We have a deep lot and our driveway is a bit on the steep side.\u00a0Kyle ended up falling off and got scraped up.\u00a0It was nothing serious, but now Jolene is furious and seeking someone to blame.<\/p>\n

She says Vanessa can\u2019t come over anymore because, according to her, Kyle would never have gotten injured if she hadn\u2019t brought the skateboard.\u00a0I think this is a massive overreaction.\u00a0Kyle took the skateboard without telling anybody, learned a painful lesson, and I think that should be the end of it.\u00a0Can you give me some advice for getting my wife to be reasonable?<\/p>\n

\u2014Skateboard Scrape<\/p>\n

Dear Skateboard Scrape,\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

Your wife is being totally reasonable because, right now, she sees that skateboard as medieval weaponry and Vanessa as the person who brought the weaponry into her home that injured innocent little Kyle\u2013her little Kyle who was off in his playroom, happy as ever, watching Paw Patrol, but became distracted by the gleaming battle axe left in the corner near the coat rack, and, of course, he let his curiosity get the best of him, swung it around, and nearly broke his jaw in the process.<\/p>\n

I know this sounds ridiculous, because it is.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s do the real recap: Kyle took it upon himself to inadvisably hop on a skateboard down a steep incline and then promptly ate it.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s not Vanessa\u2019s fault, and she shouldn\u2019t be penalized for it. Explain to your wife that the only reasonable response is to patch up Kyle, remind him not to take things without asking, and, if he wants to try skateboarding again, get him lessons, kneepads, and a helmet (and a flat surface).<\/p>\n

\n Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don\u2018t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication.\n <\/p>\n

Dear Care and Feeding, <\/strong><\/p>\n

I have a 6-year-old daughter, \u201cAmelia,\u201d with my husband, \u201cKeith.\u201d Keith is close to his brother, \u201cGarry,\u201d and we come over to his place and visit frequently. Garry keeps a pet hawk, which is very well trained and safe to be around. Amelia adores the bird, which led to a problem.<\/p>\n

About a month ago, we got a call from Garry, asking if the last time we visited, any of us fed his hawk. It\u2019s been acting a bit strange, he said. Amelia confessed almost immediately that she saved a bit of bacon from her breakfast and gave it to the bird, since our dog always likes table scraps. Garry got very agitated, even over the phone, and lectured her about how it\u2019s not good to feed birds something that salty and fatty and said she made the hawk sick. We offered to pay vet bills, but it didn\u2019t come to that; after about a week the hawk recovered from its digestive problems.<\/p>\n

In the last two visits, we\u2019ve watched her closely, and she has promised not to slip treats to the bird anymore, but Garry has noted that the bird keeps flapping its wings at her, trying to attract her attention. He says that this is a kind of begging behavior, and he asked us not to bring Amelia over to his place for a few months until the stimulus fades in the bird.<\/p>\n

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    \n This Content is Available for Slate Plus members only<\/p>\n

    I Caught My Husband Doing Something Weird With the Neighbor Across the Way. I\u2019m Speechless.
    \n <\/a>\n <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I don\u2019t begrudge my brother-in-law anything about how he cares for his own pet, but Amelia is absolutely devastated. She thinks her uncle hates her now and hasn\u2019t been reassured even when he comes over to visit us at our place.\u00a0 I keep trying to reassure her that it was a mistake, that she did the right thing by confessing to it, that Garry really does like her, and the bird\u2019s fine, but she is on the edge of tears anytime anything even remotely related to the incident comes up. What can I do to help her?
    \u2014Mistakes Happen<\/p>\n

    Dear Mistakes Happen,<\/strong><\/p>\n

    I totally feel this. My 7-year-old daughter has similar residual guilt. If we bring up any incident from when she was younger\u2014like the time she was a toddler and shorted-out half our electrical outlets using the kitchen sink spray hose to have a sprinkle party (aw!)\u2014she\u2019ll break into tears out of frustration and embarrassment and plead with us to stop bringing it up. It\u2019s tough to get kids to have an adult\u2019s understanding of mistakes and forgiveness.<\/p>\n

    From here on out, make it a team effort to keep assuring Amelia that Garry has cooled down, the hawk is soaring and swooping as usual, and that everyone still loves her and has moved on.<\/p>\n

    Over time, hopefully, the hawk will chill out and understand that the sight of Amelia doesn\u2019t automatically mean it\u2019s all-you-can-eat bacon night at the roost. But also be sure to pull her aside and let her know that in 20 years she\u2019ll have a great Weird Uncle story about Garry and that time she gave his pet hawk IBS.<\/p>\n

    \u2014A.J.<\/p>\n

    More Parenting Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

    \u201cTabitha,\u201d who is 2-and-a-half, choked during a dinner party. I am certified in several medical fields and have specific CPR training for babies and toddlers, so I started CPR until the ambulance arrived.<\/a><\/p>\n

    Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Care and Feeding is Slate\u2019s parenting advice column.\u00a0Have a question for Care and Feeding?\u00a0Submit it here. Dear Care…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1013403,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_share_on_mastodon":"0"},"categories":[7],"tags":[600,246,251,158,67,132,68],"class_list":["post-1013402","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-technology","tag-advice","tag-family","tag-kids","tag-technology","tag-united-states","tag-unitedstates","tag-us"],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/117129550862215344","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1013402","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1013402"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1013402\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1013403"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1013402"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1013402"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1013402"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}