{"id":1023455,"date":"2026-08-25T16:48:06","date_gmt":"2026-08-25T16:48:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/1023455\/"},"modified":"2026-08-25T16:48:06","modified_gmt":"2026-08-25T16:48:06","slug":"behind-angers-mask-shepherd-express","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/1023455\/","title":{"rendered":"Behind Anger\u2019s Mask – Shepherd Express"},"content":{"rendered":"

While difficult to quantify, there is considerable anecdotal evidence suggesting that, across the general population, anger is becoming more intense and disruptive. Our acrimonious, divisive and sometimes violent political environment is one example in this regard.<\/p>\n

Out-of-control anger causes considerable havoc in our lives. It\u2019s been definitively linked to intimate partner violence, road rage, sexual assault, hate crimes, child and elder abuse, school shootings and genocide, among other ugly consequences.<\/p>\n

Of course, anger per se is not at the core of these horrors. That resides with how humans behave when in the grip of this emotion. Anger can be beneficial when properly directed and expressed, helping us defend and assert ourselves, both psychologically and physically. At times, it saves lives rather than endangering them.<\/p>\n

Worst Impulses<\/b><\/p>\n

However, regulating one\u2019s animosity is often no easy lift. When the emotional brain gets hijacked in this manner, the so-called rational mind goes offline, giving one\u2019s worst impulses free rein. Road rage is a frightening example in this regard. Temporary insanity in action.<\/p>\n

And despite their popularity, so-called anger management programs frequently fall short. However, sometimes we can improve emotional self-regulation by understanding what hides behind our hostility.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019m angry much of the time,\u201d Carl told me at our initial visit. \u201cIt\u2019s always just below the surface, and little things, even trivial ones, can set me off.\u201d<\/p>\n

After getting to know a bit more about this fellow, I suspected there was a back story feeding his belligerence. Frequently, anger masks what\u2019s really going on emotionally in someone\u2019s life.<\/p>\n

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\u201cWhat are you angry about?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll kinds of things,\u201d he replied, but I pressed deeper.<\/p>\n

\u201cI realize there are many things that trigger you, but I\u2019m not convinced those things are really the source of your anger,\u201d I suggested.<\/p>\n

Angry Disappointments<\/b><\/p>\n

I asked Carl to consider how he felt about his life in general. That\u2019s when he teared up and looked away. \u201cI\u2019m disappointed, very disappointed,\u201d he struggled to speak, his voice cracking.<\/p>\n

Discontent with one\u2019s existence, and the sadness which that state of mind engenders, is a primary impetus for anger. People like Carl often feel regret, disillusionment and, sometimes, a bitter sense of being treated unfairly by others or fate.<\/p>\n

This underlying melancholy fuels their animosity toward life in general. But \u201clife in general\u201d is not something one can lash out against directly. So, this hostility becomes like a heat-seeking missile in search of something or someone to target. That can be anything; an inconsiderate driver, screaming baby, noisy neighbor, political yard sign, slow traffic . . . the possibilities are many.<\/p>\n

Victim Anxiety<\/b><\/p>\n

For example, social psychologists point out that haters who target those they consider different, better off or more privileged often harbor an underlying despair, a sense of being victimized by \u201cthe system.\u201d Ergo, they believe malevolent forces conspire to block them from what they deserve. In response, they scream, bluster and threaten, but behind that angry exterior there resides a sad hopelessness toward life; the disappointment Carl referenced.<\/p>\n

People sometimes say, \u201cLife doesn\u2019t owe us anything.\u201d But many folks feel differently. They harbor a sense of entitlement, a \u201cHey, what about me?\u201d attitude. So, when circumstances fail to deliver that sought-after condition called \u201clife satisfaction,\u201d they feel aggrieved and, in some sense, bereaved. They feel they have lost at the game of life, which they see as rigged against them.<\/p>\n

Granted, not all anger arises from this disconsolate mindset. However, it seems a leading cause of the type of hostility that is misdirected, over-the-top and senseless.<\/p>\n

If folks like Carl contemplate their anger long enough and are open to what it reveals, they may discover it is actually their sorrow in disguise.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"While difficult to quantify, there is considerable anecdotal evidence suggesting that, across the general population, anger is becoming…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1023456,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_share_on_mastodon":"0"},"categories":[36],"tags":[6719,318105,210,517,409459,409460,1737,1190,67,132,68],"class_list":["post-1023455","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-mental-health","tag-anger","tag-emotional-regulation","tag-health","tag-mental-health","tag-out-of-my-mind","tag-philip-chard","tag-psychology","tag-therapy","tag-united-states","tag-unitedstates","tag-us"],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/117157175820824099","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1023455","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1023455"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1023455\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1023456"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1023455"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1023455"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1023455"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}