{"id":1052095,"date":"2026-09-09T02:23:17","date_gmt":"2026-09-09T02:23:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/1052095\/"},"modified":"2026-09-09T02:23:17","modified_gmt":"2026-09-09T02:23:17","slug":"qa-resident-pat-hicks-uncovers-a-family-secret-that-changed-everything-he-knew-about-himself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/1052095\/","title":{"rendered":"Q&A: Resident Pat Hicks uncovers a family secret that changed everything he knew about himself"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Photo courtesy of Pat Hicks.<\/p>\n

A love story in West Texas defined by a baby boy and a decades long secret, has finally been unearthed.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Pat Hicks, a Lake Highlands resident of forty years and the author of My Name is a Lie and Other Truths<\/a>, explores the tales of silence, consequence, and secrets found in so many families \u2014 something he believed would never reach him.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Hicks sat down with Lake Highlands Advocate to discuss what it\u2019s like taking personal responsibility for who we are and rebuilding the narrative of your own life.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Take me to the moment when you first learned that the man you believed to be your father was actually not.<\/b><\/p>\n

Hicks:<\/b> It was a full moon in August. I went for a walk and I\u2019m noticing the full moon coming up. I was on the sidewalk outside my house when the phone rang. It was Doug Lill, and he says, \u201cI\u2019m Barbara\u2019s son. She passed away, but I\u2019m maintaining her ancestry stuff.\u201d So, we start talking, and he starts giving me the family history that he\u2019s traced. And I remember I said, \u201cOh, wait a minute, wait a minute here. You said that the family had two sons, and one went over there and got your grandmother pregnant. Well, what was the other son\u2019s name?\u201d And he went, \u201cRobert \u2018Bob\u2019 Dawson.\u201d<\/p>\n

By this time, I\u2019m at the bottom of the hill before you get up to my house, and I go, \u201cDo I know Bob Dawson? Yes. Bob Dawson was like an uncle.\u201d As a matter of fact, Bob Dawson and his wife were at the kitchen table when my dad died of a heart attack.<\/p>\n

Then I went, \u201cDo you know what this means?\u201d He went, \u201cNo, I\u2019m sorry. I\u2019m not following you. I don\u2019t get it.\u201d<\/p>\n

So, I said, \u201cThere\u2019s only one way that I can be your mother\u2019s first cousin. Bob Dawson has to be my daddy.\u201d<\/p>\n

I remember distinctly, I\u2019m just standing there, looking up, going, \u201cOh my God, my life just changed. Everything just changed.\u201d<\/p>\n

What were the emotions like after you found out this truth? What have you learned?<\/b><\/p>\n

Hicks:<\/b> I\u2019m going to explain through a little exercise. Imagine it\u2019s a speed-dating thing. So you sit down, and they ask, \u201cHi. What\u2019s your name? Where are you from? Are you the oldest, youngest? Do you have any siblings? Your parents? Where did they meet? How did they meet?\u201d And now everything you just said is a lie.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s not who your parents are. You\u2019re not the oldest or the youngest. That\u2019s not your grandfather. That\u2019s not your last name.<\/p>\n

So, all of a sudden, you have to come up with this self-concept, this foundation of who you are. What I\u2019ve learned is that you ultimately get to a point where you have to give yourself permission to decide who it is you want to be, and that\u2019s not a black-and-white answer. You\u2019re allowed to change.<\/p>\n

What I decided to do was this: write a book.<\/p>\n

Was there ever any evidence that your mother might have had another relationship?<\/b><\/p>\n

Hicks:<\/b> We had found these love poems of my mother after she died. The first poem is in the prologue of my book. There\u2019s a second one, and it\u2019s dated Jan. 10, 1949. Jan. 10 was her birthday and was a year and a half before I was conceived.<\/p>\n

And in these love poems, she obviously loves this man, whoever he is. Their relationship lasted a long time, and they fought at it.<\/p>\n

Looking back, do you think there were signs that you were from another father?<\/b><\/p>\n

Hicks:<\/b> It was clear that this was a surprise, and that there was baggage. My parents made sacrifices to stay together. So, instead of a celebration of another child, there was baggage.<\/p>\n

Now, I was raised in a very loving home. My parents never fought. After I found out, I remember I talked to my sister-in-law about everything I found out. She told me, \u201cOf course you know about that night when your mother told your dad she was pregnant.\u201d<\/p>\n

And I said, \u201cWhat are you talking about?\u201d<\/p>\n

My sister-in-law said, \u201cOh, old Joe! He said that was just about the worst night of his childhood.\u201d<\/p>\n

She said that my dad was furious. My parents had a knock-down, drag-out fight. My mom was crying, and he was screaming and banging on stuff. It was just awful.<\/p>\n

These are two people that I never once heard raise their fists to each other. Therefore, it was clear to me that he knew for a fact that this wasn\u2019t his child.<\/p>\n

Today, what does the word \u201cfather\u201d mean to you?<\/b><\/p>\n

Hicks:<\/b> No one has asked me that question. That\u2019s a complicated question but such a simple one.<\/p>\n

After my father found out that I wasn\u2019t his, he decided to not blow this up. That\u2019s one way to be a dad. It\u2019s not about you anymore. You sacrifice and do what you have to do to keep a family and keep them going.<\/p>\n

And then, of course, there\u2019s a man that fathers a child.<\/p>\n

When readers finish reading the book, what do you hope they carry with them afterward?<\/b><\/p>\n

Hicks:<\/b> I want them to understand that I think my family made sacrifices. I want them to understand that women had so many fewer choices back then, even if the choices are limited now.<\/p>\n

Is it possible to love two people? I realize that my mom and my birth dad were outside their marriages, but there was something going on. They just wanted to feel whole, and I believe they loved each other.<\/p>\n

This interview has been edited for clarity and brevity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Photo courtesy of Pat Hicks. A love story in West Texas defined by a baby boy and a…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1052096,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_share_on_mastodon":"0"},"categories":[5135],"tags":[5229,1596,13386,3597,421350,421351,358,3187,67,586,132,5230,68,2969,22369],"class_list":["post-1052095","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-dallas","tag-america","tag-dallas","tag-lake-highlands","tag-memoir","tag-my-name-is-a-lie-and-other-truths","tag-pat-hicks","tag-texas","tag-tx","tag-united-states","tag-united-states-of-america","tag-unitedstates","tag-unitedstatesofamerica","tag-us","tag-usa","tag-west-texas"],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/117238707487802698","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1052095","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1052095"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1052095\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1052096"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1052095"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1052095"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1052095"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}