![\"The](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/637c1a3f2300001b00534bf8.png\")
The author taking a selfie during her first mammogram appointment. “I didn’t know at that time what was ahead of me,” she writes.<\/p>\n\u201cIt really hurts to have sex,\u201d I told my doctor. \u201cLike, a lot.\u201d<\/p>\n
I was sitting in a hospital gown on the exam table at my family practitioner\u2019s office in Santa Fe, New Mexico. It was the same table where I\u2019d sat through both of my pregnancies and where, three years earlier, I\u2019d been diagnosed with breast cancer. <\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m so sorry,\u201d my doctor said. \u201cI know how it feels to go through menopause. Especially since you went through it overnight.\u201d<\/p>\n
She was the one who diagnosed me with cancer. I\u2019d found a small lump on my right breast and called her office immediately. Our appointment fell on Halloween 2017, and she was dressed up as Snow White, wearing full face paint and a black wig. <\/p>\n
\u201cYou are one of the lucky ones,\u201d she said, as I sat on the table and cried. \u201cYou don\u2019t need chemotherapy, and you\u2019re going to be okay.\u201d My doctor was right \u2014 I was lucky. I\u2019d caught it early, and with breast cancer, early detection is everything. <\/p>\n
My treatment consisted of a mastectomy, reconstruction surgery and 10 years of targeted hormone therapy \u2014 to kill the estrogen in my body and lower my risk of recurrent cancer. The goal of these hormone treatments \u2014 for pre-menopausal women \u2014 is to slingshot you through menopause. It worked. Within a matter of weeks, I went from being a healthy 37-year-old menstruating woman, to a hot-flashing, bone-aching, post-menopausal cancer survivor. I suffered vaginal irritation, something I\u2019d later learn was vaginal atrophy. The only thing not atrophying were my post-operative breasts \u2014 they looked perkier than ever. But while my boobs felt 16 again, my vagina felt 61. It was a total mindfuck. <\/p>\n
\u201cIt hurts,\u201d I complained. \u201cJust… all the time. And especially during sex.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cMenopause makes it very uncomfortable \u2014 nearly impossible \u2014 to have successful intercourse,\u201d she said matter-of-factly. \u201cHave you heard of vaginal rejuvenation? A colleague of mine, in Albuquerque, is offering laser treatment in her practice. I think you\u2019d be a great candidate for it.\u201d<\/p>\n
The author taking a selfie during her first mammogram appointment. “I didn’t know at that time what was ahead of me,” she writes.<\/p>\n
Courtesy of Anna Sullivan Reiser<\/p>\n
An hour later I was home, googling laser vaginal rejuvenation. Eventually, I found a reputable women\u2019s healthcare site with information on the treatment. Above the medical description, there was a photo of a smiling woman in her 60s, wearing a pink button up shirt. She had done the treatments and seemed to be enjoying \u201csuccessful intercourse.\u201d<\/p>\n
The type of vaginal rejuvenation treatment I was considering, \u201cgently rejuvenates\u201d the vagina, by delivering a type of therapy known as fractional CO2 (carbon dioxide) laser energy to the soft tissues of the vaginal wall and providing a hormone-free treatment for vaginal atrophy. Vaginal atrophy \u2014 for those who have not yet journeyed into the Saharan desert of menopause \u2014 is next-level vaginal dryness. It\u2019s a side effect of menopause \u2014 practically a guarantee. For many women and people with vaginas, vaginal estrogen creams can provide sufficient relief for the pain experienced during intercourse caused by vaginal atrophy. For women like me \u2014 who are proactively killing the estrogen inside their bodies with mega medications \u2014 the research remains ongoing about estrogen creams, rings and tablets, and whether they are safe to use. Right now, it\u2019s not something I am comfortable with.<\/p>\n
I was excited to discuss what I\u2019d learned with my husband. In the throes of parenting two toddlers \u2014 while also recovering from a life-threatening illness \u2014 addressing sexual dysfunction was on our to-do list but hadn\u2019t yet become a crisis in our marriage. Together we defined two major drawbacks to the treatment. The first was the price tag. The laser treatment consists of three sessions, distanced a few months apart. I was quoted $3,000 in total for the three sessions. Insurance does not cover the cost of vaginal rejuvenation, although you might be able to get reimbursed through a flexible spending account (FSA). I don\u2019t have one of those. <\/p>\n
The second concern was the risk. Most of the websites I researched did not mention any risk involved with the treatment. But there is, of course, risk when you decide to have your vagina lasered. Some women have experienced excruciating pain during the treatment and \u2014 in very rare cases \u2014 suffered vaginal burns. Despite all that and because I was one of the lucky ones to have access to the treatment and could afford it, I decided to try it.<\/p>\n
![\"The](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/637c19a8270000190051e165.png\")
The author and her husband, Alex, at the Inn in Vermont where they got married. “This was on our 8th wedding anniversary,” she writes.<\/p>\n
Courtesy of Anna Sullivan Reiser<\/p>\n
A few weeks later, I was taking in the desert mesas on my way to Albuquerque for my first laser treatment. When I arrived at the small gynecology practice, I was greeted by a young and chipper receptionist. I told her in a quiet voice that I was there for vaginal rejuvenation. She asked me to repeat myself. I did. She giggled nervously and asked me to wait. I watched her consult with a co-worker before returning to the window. \u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d she said with amusement. \u201cI hadn\u2019t heard of that before.\u201d I shot her a look that was meant to say, menopause is coming for you too, young lady. <\/p>\n
Eventually, I was led to an examining room and given a gown. A nurse entered the room and applied a numbing cream to my labia. As I waited to go numb, I spotted the laser treatment in the corner of the room. It was a tall machine with a long, slender wand. It looked like something you might see at a dentist\u2019s office. Then the gynecologist walked in \u2014 an older, soft-spoken, hippy-ish woman \u2014 and told me how excited she was to have the opportunity to perform the treatment. \u201cHave you used the laser before?\u201d I asked nervously. \u201cOnly a few times,\u201d she responded. I tried to ignore the sudden wave of panic that washed over me. She turned on the machine and it made a loud, vibrating noise. As I laid back, a tagline from an old Virginia Slims commercial popped into my mind: You\u2019ve come a long way, baby. <\/p>\n
The initial treatment went well. For a few days, I experienced some light vaginal bleeding, which was to be expected. The laser creates tiny micro-abrasions on the vaginal wall, increasing blood flow and stimulating the growth of new blood vessels \u2014 essentially bringing new life to your vagina. I didn\u2019t feel any pain during the treatment, although it was a bit uncomfortable and awkward. After the first session, I noticed something right away. My vagina seemed happier. In fact, it didn\u2019t hurt \u2015 at all.<\/p>\n
My gynecologist told me to have sex in-between the sessions, to help maintain my new elasticity. I was feeling so bolstered from the positive results of the first treatment, I couldn\u2019t wait to jump into bed with my husband. But when it came time to get down to business, I was extremely disappointed to find out penetration remained very painful.<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019m sorry,\u201d I said to my husband, after we tried \u2014 unsuccessfully \u2014 to have sex. \u201cI can\u2019t do this, it hurts too much.\u201d I was in tears. We both were frustrated. Would I ever have sex again?<\/p>\n
![\"The](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/07\/637c1abe2400001c004bd2a3.png\")
The author, her husband and two children on Halloween 2017, a few hours after her doctor diagnosed her with breast cancer. “We are trick-or-treating on Canyon Road in Santa Fe, New Mexico,” she writes.<\/p>\n
Courtesy of Anna Sullivan Reiser<\/p>\n
I brought this question to my next appointment in Albuquerque. My gynecologist told me to wait to finish all three treatments before coming to any conclusions. But the results from the second treatment weren\u2019t all that noteworthy. And the same was true for the third and final treatment. It seemed to me the major benefits of vaginal rejuvenation occurred after the first treatment. It had a very positive effect on the overall wellbeing of my vagina but didn\u2019t fix the painful symptoms I was experiencing during intercourse.<\/p>\n
Six months after my initial doctor\u2019s visit, I was back in the examining room detailing my experience. My doctor and I agreed that researching and devoting more funds to women\u2019s health has a long way to go. Most women can\u2019t afford expensive vaginal laser treatments, and instead, are learning to normalize their pain or simply avoid talking about it. <\/p>\n
Did vaginal rejuvenation fix the painful symptoms I experienced during sex? No. Do I feel comfortable using an estrogen cream? Again, no. But I think of the waiting room at the Dana Farber Cancer Center \u2014 and I guess I can live with it. The question is, why should I? Why is there a little blue pill for erections and not an effective medication for vaginal dryness? Yet again, it seems we have been given the shaft.<\/p>\n
Before I left, my doctor wrote me a prescription for Lidocaine, a numbing cream.<\/p>\n
\u201cPut this on twenty minutes before sex, it really helps,\u201d she said. Before she left the room she turned and gave me a half smile, as if to say, welcome to menopause, we\u2019ve come a long way, baby. But have we? <\/p>\n
There are a few other non-estrogen vaginal atrophy treatments out there \u2014 and maybe someday I\u2019ll try them. For now, my partner and I are exploring what \u201csuccessful intercourse\u201d means to us. Penetration is only one way of having sex \u2014 there are lots of fun things to do. <\/p>\n
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