For some singles, going on dates is simply about having a lively night out with no long-term plans.<\/p>\n
But for Big Apple romantics, the \u201cit\u2019s not you, it\u2019s me\u201d texts still sting \u2014 especially when a seemingly great date lasts for hours on end.<\/p>\n
Dedicated dudes are going on \u201cmarathon dates\u201d\u2014 epic, romantic odysseys lasting from four to a whopping 10 hours, if not more.<\/p>\n
Joony, a 28-year-old from Staten Island, has had less than stellar luck when it comes to city dating \u2014 though he is not opposed to \u201cmarathon\u201d dates. Stefano Giovannini for N.Y.Post<\/p>\n
They get dinner, grab drinks, gallivant around the city \u2014 and then get ghosted by the gals.<\/p>\n
Now, they\u2019re wasting no time airing their gripes.<\/p>\n
Jose, a pilot from Queens, told The Post of being set back well over $900 after taking a lucky lady on a five-hour, private day flight to Niagara Falls \u2014 only to discover soon after that she\u2019d blocked him without a word.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cMy heart was shattered for, like, a week, but my wallet hasn\u2019t recovered yet,\u201d the 23-year-old said of the mother of all marathon dates that started with an \u201cinstant click\u201d after matching on Hinge.<\/p>\n
The tried-and-true dinner date is falling out of fashion, according to more than a few Gen Z Hinge users. Alina \u2013 stock.adobe.com<\/p>\n
Equally puzzling: \u201cShe told me she hates the concept of ghosting, and how it\u2019s lame,\u201d Jose lamented.<\/p>\n
Other grousing gents are venting about their experiences publicly on TikTok and beyond. <\/p>\n
Shane Vassar \u2014 a photographer who moved to NYC from the Bay Area earlier this year \u2014 told The Post that a recent first date lasted more than eight hours<\/a>.<\/p>\n For reference, that\u2019s twice the average time it takes to actually run a marathon.\u00a0<\/p>\n The Chelsea resident, 27, and his better Hinge half began their West Village rendezvous with coffee and Italian pastries \u2014 and barely any awkward lapses in conversation, he said.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cWe got a bottle of wine, and then four hours later, we were still talking,\u201d Vassar recalled.\u00a0<\/p>\n The pair then packed up and kept the party going, all the way to Brooklyn cafe Misfits Kava \u2014 one of his favorite low-key spots, where they hung out on a back-garden hammock, chatting and cuddling up under a starless sky.\u00a0<\/p>\n After sharing a story about marathon dating on TikTok recently, Shane Vassar told The Post that he was \u201cdisappointed\u201d about getting ghosted but seemingly ready to move on. @shane_vassar\/Tiktok<\/p>\n They moved on to another neighborhood hangout, where they \u201cgot drinks but we didn\u2019t even finish them because we were too busy talking,\u201d he said, after which he walked her home, \u201cholding hands all the way back to her place in Bedford.\u201d<\/p>\n He got home shockingly late \u2014 at 4 a.m., when he texted her thanks for a great night \u2014 and went to bed.<\/p>\n He woke up to a brutal \u201cWe\u2019re not a match\u201d message from his fickle female friend.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cThat was my first marathon date in a couple of years, and so that took me for a whirlwind,\u201d he said. \u201cThat\u2019s crazy.\u201d<\/p>\n Despite the snub, Vassar found a plus side \u2014 he picked up 13 new work clients after posting about his viral date on TikTok.<\/p>\n And there\u2019s always more fish in the sea.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cI was disappointed at first. I thought they were my type, fashionable, outgoing,\u201d he shared, \u201cbut also, you could say there are a lot of people in NYC who fit that description, so I\u2019m not devastated.\u201d<\/p>\n Bar-hopping, coffee, promenades around the park and city walks are common marathon dating activities. pavel siamionov \u2013 stock.adobe.com<\/p>\n David, a 29-year-old Bed-Stuy-born artist, confessed to a similar sour fate.<\/p>\n The Hinge user told The Post that he and a woman went to the Museum of Natural History, walked through Central Park, ate ramen and took the train back to Bed-Stuy for a round of nightcaps.<\/p>\n After the date \u2014 he claimed it lasted \u201cat least 10 hours\u201d \u2014 his match went MIA for two weeks, and then sent the dreaded \u201cI\u2019m not feeling a romantic vibe, but we can be friends\u201d text.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cThat\u2019s the last time I plan a day for the first date,\u201d he said.\u00a0<\/p>\n According to a study by Tawkify<\/a>, Gen Zers delete and re-download dating apps an average of six times per year. SunnySide \u2013 stock.adobe.com<\/p>\n Going all in with romantic repartee or too many expectations may be the worst move to make, one expert says.<\/p>\n Matchmaker Blaine Anderson<\/a> recommends limiting a first date<\/a> to a few hours max, and emphasizes a \u201cgo with the flow\u201d mentality.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cMarathon dates are often \u2014 if not always \u2014 a mistake! Especially if you met someone online, it\u2019s wise to treat a first date like a vibe check,\u201d Anderson told The Post. \u201cMeet up, chat, understand if this is someone you want to spend more time with, and then call it an afternoon (or evening) so you can let your impression gel.\u201d<\/p>\n Either way, you\u2019re facing a reality check.<\/p>\n \u201cIf you meet someone and feel such an incredible connection that you\u2019re compelled to drop everything and continue spending time with them, that either means you indeed have an incredible connection (and why not run with it?!), or you have attachment issues and you need to pump the brakes,\u201d she added.<\/p>\n Marathon dates aren\u2019t all doom-and-gloom for some daters, though \u2014 some romantics prefer them.<\/p>\n Joony (above) and Vassar agree that neighborhoods like Williamsburg are perfect places for marathon dates to happen. Stefano Giovannini for N.Y.Post<\/p>\n Joony<\/a>, a 28-year-old living in Staten Island, hasn\u2019t found Mrs. Right just yet, but told The Post that marathon dating \u201csatisfies the lover boy\u201d in him.<\/p>\n \u201cI just love spending that much time because if it\u2019s with someone I was really excited about, like, there have been times I\u2019m giggling and kicking my feet about going on a date with some girl,\u201d said the fitness influencer and Cornell grad who previously worked 90-hour weeks in banking, plus wined and dined women with dinner dates. <\/p>\n \u201cHaving the experience of \u2018What if she\u2019s the one?\u2019 and spending that many hours together gives you New York City romance movie vibes, like you guys are just doing everything in the city together,\u201d\u00a0he said.<\/p>\n \u201cThe more time a girl spends with you \u2014 at least how I justify it in my mind \u2014 the more she likes you.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n After a few fumbles on the app, Joony is taking a step back from Hinge and passively continuing his quest for all-conquering romance. Stefano Giovannini for N.Y.Post<\/p>\n But Anderson said the city\u2019s hustle and bustle spurs marathon matchups; plus, a modern preoccupation with dating apps<\/a> makes them far too convenient, and even overwhelming, as others on social media have pointed out<\/a>.<\/p>\n \u201cParadox of choice is a real problem,\u201d Anderson says. \u201cApps like Hinge make singles feel like a better partner is just one more swipe away, and that sensation absolutely feels stronger in a city like New York than anywhere else \u2014 because in a literal sense, there are a ton of attractive single people everywhere you look.\u201d<\/p>\n Unfortunately, there\u2019s no guarantee with marathon dates, Anderson said. <\/p>\n The sheer number of people encountered on the apps can be overwhelming for many. <\/p>\n \u201cA lot of singles go into first dates preoccupied with what the other person will think of them, which tends to backfire. When you\u2019re worrying about someone else, it\u2019s hard to be present. And you want to be 100% present, so you can enjoy yourself, and actually get to know the person you\u2019re out with,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n Her advice: figure out how you feel about them later.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cHow they felt about you isn\u2019t really in your control, and isn\u2019t worth worrying about, especially while you\u2019re on the date.\u201d<\/p>\n \t\t\t\t\t\t