{"id":130890,"date":"2025-08-09T05:00:09","date_gmt":"2025-08-09T05:00:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/130890\/"},"modified":"2025-08-09T05:00:09","modified_gmt":"2025-08-09T05:00:09","slug":"ai-as-a-relationship-advisor-it-gave-me-the-right-words-to-the-point-i-was-moved-to-tears-technology","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/130890\/","title":{"rendered":"AI as a relationship advisor: \u2018It gave me the right words, to the point I was moved to tears\u2019 | Technology"},"content":{"rendered":"

Carolina has been dating a guy for a few weeks \u2014 someone she met through friends at a party. After their last date, she feels he\u2019s not going to take the next step. She brings her internal debate into a conversation with ChatGPT. She gives it context, asks for advice, and instructs it to draft a message she can send him \u2014 one that expresses her concern in a tone that\u2019s \u201cnot too romantic, not too cold.\u201d More and more people, especially from Gen Z, are turning to artificial intelligence as a kind of relationship advisor.<\/a><\/p>\n

The Singles in America study<\/a>, published in June, reveals that the number of single people using this technology to improve their love lives increased by 333% compared to 2024. In addition, 23% of the 5,000 respondents admitted to using AI to perform better in their relationships.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe all need to communicate what we feel. Telling an AI something is doing it from a safe place. It won\u2019t judge you and will give you a more neutral and open perspective of what you tell it,\u201d says Carolina, 27. <\/p>\n

The research \u2014 conducted for 14 years in the U.S. by Match Group (a tech company that runs popular dating services like Meetic and Hinge) and the Kinsey Institute \u2014 analyzed the use of artificial intelligence to draft messages, rehearse conversations, build dating profiles on apps like Tinder, or edit photos. Carolina makes it clear, though, that even if she leans on the chatbot\u2019s advice, she makes the final decision about what to do with her love interests.<\/p>\n

Only 7% of those surveyed said they asked AI for help rejecting a second date or ending a relationship; the percentage rises to 16% when considering Gen Z specifically (ages 18 to 27). <\/p>\n

\u201cWe had gone some time without speaking, this guy and I. One day I felt like texting him and asked ChatGPT what I should say. It replied, \u2018Given that, from what you\u2019ve told me, he didn\u2019t respond that time, you shouldn\u2019t talk to him.\u2019 It lays things out bluntly,\u201d says Carolina, who describes herself as private when it comes to sharing her personal life with friends and close ones.<\/p>\n

Chatbots as partners<\/p>\n

Users are turning to this technology not only to find a partner but also to make online dating easier, more enjoyable, and more efficient, according to psychologist and co-author of the study, Amanda Gesselman. This has already been a widespread practice for a few years. More unsettling, however, is another data point from the study: 16% of respondents said they had interacted with a chatbot as a romantic or sexual partner.<\/a><\/p>\n

Apps like Character AI, Replika, or Anima AI allow users to create virtual companions tailored to their preferences, designing their personality and appearance. \u201cThirty-six percent of respondents said their AI companion gave them more sexual pleasure or arousal than a human partner, and 44% said the companion provided more emotional support than they had received from a human partner,\u201d Gesselman notes. <\/p>\n

This phenomenon is explained as a way to combat modern loneliness<\/a>, which has worsened since the pandemic. Experts refer to a \u201cloneliness epidemic,\u201d triggered by the COVID-19 lockdowns, which slowed down social connection and reinforced digital interaction.<\/p>\n

Eugenia Kuyda, founder of Replika \u2014 one of the \u201cAI girlfriend\u201d programs \u2014 says she created the software because people were using her earlier customer service chatbot to vent, talk about their emotions, and seek companionship. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s also said to help improve social skills in those who feel insecure in that area,\u201d says Kerry McInerney, a researcher at the Centre for the Future of Intelligence at the University of Cambridge. \u201cWhat concerns me is that this digital shift doesn\u2019t seem to have improved our levels of loneliness.\u201d<\/p>\n

For McInerney, emotionally leaning on AI may be a temporary solution, but in the long run, it doesn\u2019t help build real relationships and social communities. New technologies give people increasing control over communication. <\/p>\n

According to American linguist Naomi Baron, \u201cthat\u2019s not normal human interaction, even though it\u2019s very tempting. And it\u2019s becoming more so, not only because AI tools are getting better and more realistic, but because we\u2019re socially uncomfortable around people.\u201d Baron, who specializes in computer-mediated communication, believes that social skills are like learning a language: if you don\u2019t practice them, they\u2019re lost.<\/p>\n

Chatbots as therapists<\/p>\n

Carlos doesn\u2019t believe he has social insecurity, but he does struggle to develop his ideas. That\u2019s why, when he knows he\u2019s facing a difficult argument with his girlfriend, he prepares minutes beforehand using ChatGPT. Or, when the argument is over, he turns to the system to vent. \u201cIt helps me anticipate certain situations. I use it to keep things from getting out of hand, to calm myself down. It\u2019s given me the right words at the right time, to the point of being moved to tears,\u201d says the 27-year-old, who has lived with his partner for three years and has a one-year-old son.<\/p>\n

Carlos admits that his girlfriend doesn\u2019t know about the support he gets from AI, \u201cout of a sense of personal privacy.\u201d However, there are already couples who, by mutual agreement, resolve disputes or improve their coexistence with help from a chatbot, according to reports in The Economic Times<\/a> and The New York Post<\/a>. <\/p>\n

In fact, last May saw the launch of a prototype called ConflictLens<\/a>, an interactive language model trained with psychological theories to help people understand each other during conflict, afterward, and in the context of long-term relationships. \u201cIt can replace a family therapist. It helps me rethink things, to not act on impulse, to be more diplomatic,\u201d says Carlos.<\/p>\n

Baron hopes that couples therapy won\u2019t be replaced by this technology, but believes that if used, it should serve as a mediator rather than a final judge. \u201cRephrasing sentences or thinking about how to say something may or may not be helpful. Because sometimes it becomes artificial, and if the language doesn\u2019t feel natural, you wouldn\u2019t use it in an intense emotional situation. I can imagine the potential for the system to say, \u2018Read what you wrote. Did you mean to sound aggressive? Wait three minutes.\u2019 It\u2019s not about the AI rewriting for you, but rather acting like a traffic cop,\u201d says the linguist.<\/p>\n

In reality, this use of AI remains a paradox: users turn to artificial intelligence<\/a> to navigate their relationships, but they reject others doing the same to approach them. The Singles in America study reveals that 49% of respondents consider it dishonest to use AI to impress, and 61% believe that if someone used it \u2014 to write a message or craft a Tinder profile \u2014 they should disclose it explicitly. Beyond these new dating practices, what worries specialists most is the possibility that AI could eventually replace a real partner.<\/p>\n

In response to pressure from researchers, OpenAI \u2014 the company behind ChatGPT \u2014 conducted a study<\/a> on the subject in collaboration with the MIT Media Lab. The results, released last March, indicate that after four weeks of interaction, users who used voice mode with a chatbot of the opposite gender experienced a notable increase in feelings of loneliness, as well as greater emotional dependence on the AI. The real potential of these technological tools, McInerney argues, lies in identifying users\u2019 needs \u2014 understanding what they want in the digital world in order to address it in the real one.<\/p>\n

Sign up for our weekly newsletter<\/a> to get more English-language news coverage from EL PA\u00cdS USA Edition<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Carolina has been dating a guy for a few weeks \u2014 someone she met through friends at a…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":130891,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21],"tags":[691,738,302,305,158,25524,67,132,68],"class_list":{"0":"post-130890","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-artificial-intelligence","8":"tag-ai","9":"tag-artificial-intelligence","10":"tag-chatgpt","11":"tag-openai","12":"tag-technology","13":"tag-tinder","14":"tag-united-states","15":"tag-unitedstates","16":"tag-us"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/114997049598214308","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130890","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=130890"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/130890\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/130891"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=130890"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=130890"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=130890"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}