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Tales From the Co-op<\/a><\/p>\n \n A week dedicated to the stories from New York\u2019s uniquely ubiquitous housing option.\n <\/p>\n \n Like bedbug infestations and ceiling leaks, at some point in a New York City apartment, the chance of seeing your neighbors in the buff is extraordinarily high. But what do you do if the people who just moved in across the courtyard are hoping you see them nude? There are plenty of ways that your co-op neighbors can ruin your peace. Odors from the heavy marijuana smokers<\/a> or the hoarder next door may waft into your unit; the neighbor who hates the way you close your door might start throwing things at the wall (and even sue you<\/a>). Or, in the case of one new co-op owner, the neighbors may be nudists who have a tendency to flash onlookers from their window. \u201cIt didn\u2019t bother me at first because I just mind my business and go about my day,\u201d she wrote<\/a> in a Reddit post asking for advice. \u201cBUT I have noticed that they\u2019re acting a little too bold now.\u201d<\/p>\n The unwilling witness, who said the couple who recently moved into her building \u201clike to be naked all the time,\u201d got a shock the other night when she went to close her bathroom window. \u201cI saw him just standing there with his shlong,\u201d she wrote. She gave the man a disgusted look, which sent him running and shutting the door behind him, but that wasn\u2019t the end of it. He reportedly works nude in his home office, which is right in front of the woman\u2019s kitchen and bathroom windows, and \u201che stands by the window where I can see him naked on a constant basis.\u201d Even though she has curtains, she sometimes needs to open the window after she showers or cooks, and that is when he\u2019s apparently ready \u201cto strike with his weeny.\u201d And what about his partner? \u201cThe girlfriend barely does it, but she\u2019s a freak too,\u201d the woman wrote. \u201cIt\u2019s coming to the point where I feel uncomfortable in my bathroom or kitchen.\u201d<\/p>\n Like bedbug infestations and ceiling leaks, at some point in a New York apartment, the chance of seeing your neighbors in the buff is extraordinarily high. But it\u2019s one thing to catch a glimpse of someone occasionally; it\u2019s another altogether to be subject to a full-frontal nude on a daily basis. \u201cShe has a right to a view,\u201d says Julis Weil, a board member and former board president at the Carlton East in Sutton Place. \u201cIt\u2019s her window.\u201d<\/p>\n Some fellow redditors seemed to think the situation was futile (\u201cYou can\u2019t really do anything about someone being naked in their own home\u201d), and most offered some pretty elaborate shaming solutions (\u201cSurprise them with a laser pointer on the dingus\u201d). But according to Aaron Shmulewitz, a real-estate lawyer, the process for dealing with a repeat window flasher in your co-op isn\u2019t all that different from other nuisances like someone across the hall blasting metal music at midnight. He says this behavior would violate a catchall provision that\u2019s likely in her building\u2019s house rules about acting in a way that is \u201cunreasonably disturbing\u201d to other residents. His advice? The woman should write to the co-op board or its managing agent and get its attorney to send a strongly worded letter ordering the couple to stop, or at least hang some curtains over their windows. \u201cIronically, she\u2019s going to need to take photo and video from her window of them doing this,\u201d he adds, \u201cwhich kind of promotes the exhibitionist angle, but she needs the evidence.\u201d She could also call the police on the grounds of public lewdness. (\u201cVery often a mere visit by two cops to your apartment gets you to stop doing stuff,\u201d Shmulewitz says.)<\/p>\n Weil, the board member, says that although his building hasn\u2019t dealt with nudity issues, it did have a man who would come home drunk and throw up in the hallway and elevator. The puking stopped, at least in the common spaces, after the building\u2019s attorney sent a letter. This also worked with a randy couple in a Jane Street building who repeatedly had sex during their quick rides in the elevator and were well aware of their potential audience. \u201cThey kept looking up at the camera while they were doing it,\u201d Shmulewitz says. \u201cI wrote them a letter, and there were no further incidents.\u201d<\/p>\n Could the Naked Neighbors have to go to court? It\u2019s possible, Weil says, especially if the woman claims she doesn\u2019t feel safe getting roped into this couple\u2019s routine again and again. But, he adds, his co-op board has yet to evict or take legal action against a shareholder over issues with the house rules. \u201cThey either comply, they pass away, or they sell,\u201d he says. How neighborly of them.<\/p>\n
\n Photo-Illustration: Curbed; Photos: Getty\n <\/p>\n