Ellie from Dallas, Texas, knew something was off in her marriage. After years with a financially controlling spouse, she\u2019s finally ready to leave.<\/p>\n
The problem? She doesn\u2019t have access to the family\u2019s money despite earning $40,000 a year as a part-time nurse.<\/p>\n
Feeling trapped, she called The Ramsey Show for advice. \u201cHe\u2019s gotten so financially abusive,\u201d she said<\/a> in a recent episode. \u201cHe transfers what he wants \u2014 my allowance \u2014 to my account. I can\u2019t see the other accounts.\u201d<\/p>\n Hosts Dr. John Delony and George Kamel didn\u2019t hold back. \u201cI can tell you right now: he sucks,\u201d Delony said. \u201cThat\u2019s not a way to be married to somebody.\u201d<\/p>\n But after hearing all the facts, they encouraged her to put her anxieties aside and take a real step toward getting out of this situation.<\/p>\n Don’t missFinancially trapped?<\/p>\n Despite raising concerns with her husband \u2014 even saying she no longer feels safe in the marriage \u2014 nothing has changed.<\/p>\n Ellie has tried to talk to her husband about their joint financial situation. She\u2019s gone so far as to tell him that she doesn\u2019t feel safe in the marriage. But even these relatively drastic measures haven\u2019t made a crack in the ice.<\/p>\n After hearing Ellie\u2019s story, Delony didn\u2019t mince words: \u201cHe has left you so long ago. He just never filed papers.\u201d He urged her to grieve the reality of her marriage, then shift focus to what comes next.<\/p>\n Her biggest question: \u201cHow do you get out when you have no access to any of the finances?\u201d<\/p>\n Ellie earns $40,000 working as a part-time nurse, but her paychecks are deposited into a joint account \u2014 which her husband controls. Once the money hits, he transfers most of it into an account she can\u2019t access.<\/p>\n \u201cBut you have control, you have say in the joint account, right?\u201d asked Kamel.<\/p>\n Technically, she does. But Ellie\u2019s afraid to withdraw more than he \u201callows,\u201d fearing retaliation. She worries he\u2019ll cut off essentials like her phone or car insurance if she pushes back during a potential divorce.<\/p>\n \u201cIs this real?\u201d asked Delony.<\/p>\n Read more: Nervous about the stock market? Gain potential quarterly income through this $1B private real estate fund \u2014 even if you\u2019re not a millionaire. Here\u2019s how to get started with as little as $10<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n Taking ownership of your finances<\/p>\n The hosts believed Ellie\u2019s fear of financial uncertainty during and after divorce was keeping her stuck.<\/p>\n \u201cYou make $40,000 bucks a year, and you could turn a switch on and make $65,000 starting tomorrow\u2026 you could have an apartment tomorrow if you wanted one. Period,\u201d Delony said.<\/p>\n Instead of dwelling on obstacles, the hosts urged Ellie to focus on solutions.<\/p>\n Kamel recommended a first step: redirect her paycheck into a new individual account only she controls. While her husband may retaliate, it\u2019s a necessary move toward financial independence.<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019re going to take ownership of the things you have control over \u2014 and there\u2019s more in control than you think,\u201d said Kamel.<\/p>\n With access to her full income, Ellie could afford her own one-bedroom apartment and start covering her own bills.<\/p>\n As for legal help, Delony advised finding a divorce attorney who accepts payment on the back end \u2014 a common option in situations like hers. If a retainer is required, regaining control of her paycheck could help her save for it.<\/p>\n What to read next<\/p>\n