{"id":170424,"date":"2025-08-24T00:34:11","date_gmt":"2025-08-24T00:34:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/170424\/"},"modified":"2025-08-24T00:34:11","modified_gmt":"2025-08-24T00:34:11","slug":"sex-after-50-the-most-common-issues-and-how-to-handle-them","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/170424\/","title":{"rendered":"Sex After 50: The Most Common Issues And How To Handle Them"},"content":{"rendered":"

Living in an ageist culture that equates sex<\/a> with youth, you may believe things fizzle out in the bedroom after you hit a certain age. But in many cases, that\u2019s just not true.<\/p>\n

In fact, 43% of Americans over age 50 say their sex life is \u201cjust as or more adventurous\u201d than it was in their younger days, according to one 2019 survey<\/a>. Another survey from 2021 found that 35% of people in this age group say their sex drive is higher now<\/a> than when they were younger. <\/p>\n

That said, our bodies and lives change as we age, which can result in some shifts in the bedroom, too. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt is extremely important to note, however, that while changes in sexual feeling and function as we age are normal, problems are not, though we sometimes assume they are,\u201d clinical sexologist and sexuality educator Lawrence Siegel<\/a> told HuffPost. <\/p>\n

As we get older, we need to establish new norms for ourselves, adjusting our expectations as time passes. <\/p>\n

\u201cA 55-year-old should not be trying to maintain the same level of interest or stamina as a 25-year-old,\u201d Siegel said. \u201cWhile things seem to work automatically when we\u2019re younger, we have to provide more effort and awareness to them when we get older.\u201d<\/p>\n

To that end, we asked Siegel and other sex therapists which bedroom issues people commonly encounter in this phase of life and how to address them.<\/p>\n

1. Negative Beliefs About Sexuality And Aging<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"Approaching<\/p>\n

Tetra Images via Getty Images<\/p>\n

Approaching sex as you age with a negative mindset can get in the way of a satisfying bedroom life. <\/p>\n

Our mindset around sex as we age has a huge impact on our sex lives. And negative beliefs in this area are a \u201cmuch bigger problem than most people realize,\u201d said psychotherapist and sex therapist Nan Wise<\/a>. <\/p>\n

\u201cWe need to debunk some of the more pernicious myths and misconceptions about our sexuality as we mature. Yes, hormonal changes can negatively impact us as our bodies adjust to the shifting sands of time, but this is greatly exacerbated by our culture\u2019s hangups about sex in general and, even more so, about sex as people age,\u201d Wise, author of \u201cWhy Good Sex Matters,\u201d<\/a> told HuffPost. <\/p>\n

People in their 50s have to \u201cget past the societal stigma that they are less sexual due to their age,\u201d said psychologist and sex therapist Shannon Chavez<\/a>. In her practice, she found that many people in this age group have better sex than when they were younger.<\/p>\n

\u201cThey are more clear on what they want and how to express it,\u201d she told HuffPost. \u201cSex in your 50s is often more connected and comfortable with less performance anxiety and sexual hangups from the past. Most people in this age group are more confident and have had experience to know what they want and can be much more assertive towards a partner.\u201d <\/p>\n

2. Vaginal Dryness<\/strong><\/p>\n

The drop in estrogen levels that occurs with menopause can cause vaginal dryness \u2014 which, in turn, can impact sexual functioning. It\u2019s estimated that about half of <\/a>post-menopausal women<\/a> deal with this condition. <\/p>\n

\u201cThis can lead to painful or uncomfortable sexual experiences for some, which is why all women over 50 should have a good lube on hand<\/a>,\u201d Siegel said. <\/p>\n

Spending more time on foreplay<\/a> may also be helpful. Being more aroused can increase vaginal lubrication<\/a>, making sex feel more pleasurable. If vaginal penetration is too painful, other activities, such as oral sex or using sex toys, might feel more enjoyable.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s worth noting that many women go through menopause without \u201cany real issues,\u201d Siegel said, \u201cother than a sense of liberation from the chance of getting pregnant.\u201d<\/p>\n

3. Erection And Ejaculation Challenges <\/strong><\/p>\n

As men age, things change in the erection department \u2014 and that\u2019s normal. <\/p>\n

\u201cThey will not have the same kinds of spontaneous or reflexive erections the way they used to,\u201d Siegel said. \u201cAnd they will find that they may need more and varied stimulation in order to get or maintain an erection. In addition, they may also find that their erections are not as hard or robust as they used to be.\u201d<\/p>\n

Having erection trouble from time to time is not unusual. But if you\u2019re unable to develop or sustain an erection most times you try to have sex, you might be dealing with erectile dysfunction.<\/a> Speak with your doctor, as this can be a sign of an underlying health condition<\/a>. <\/p>\n

Also, the volume of ejaculate and the force with which it\u2019s released may be \u201csignificantly less\u201d than what they\u2019re accustomed to, Siegel said. <\/p>\n

\n

\u201cWhile things seem to work automatically when we\u2019re younger, we have to provide more effort and awareness to them when we get older.\u201d<\/p>\n

– Lawrence Siegel, clinical sexologist and sexuality educator<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

Men are socialized to think their sexual vitality \u201chinges on the unfailingly consistent performance of their penises,\u201d said Wise, which can be \u201ca recipe for problems as men age.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt is also one of the most common issues that impact erectile challenges,\u201d she said. \u201cEven young men experience erectile dysfunction as they become preoccupied with the state of their penises during lovemaking.\u201d<\/p>\n

To combat this, Siegel said the most important thing is to relieve performance pressure and change the objective of sex in the first place. <\/p>\n

\u201cIf we approach sexual encounters with the idea that we are simply wanting to share this pleasurable experience, and if ejaculation occurs, great; if it doesn\u2019t, it can still be sharing a great, pleasurable experience,\u201d he said. \u201cOur intimate and erotic experiences can be greatly increased if we look at orgasm less as a goal and more as a nice side effect of sharing pleasure.\u201d <\/p>\n

4. Lower Sexual Desire <\/strong><\/p>\n

Stress, physical health problems, mental health issues, medication side effects and declining hormone levels can all contribute to decreased libido<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Prevalent issues for those in their 50s include \u201cdealing with changes in their physical body and energy levels which can lead to low desire,\u201d Chavez said, noting that menopause and other hormonal shifts are common during this time. \u201cThe hormonal shifts not only affect physiology and sexual desire but can also impact mental health, including fatigue and changes in mood,\u201d Chavez added.<\/p>\n

She suggested getting a hormone panel to see how to balance your hormones and reduce unwanted symptoms. <\/p>\n

\u201cMost hormonal changes are very manageable with the right support,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

Siegel said, \u201cit\u2019s perfectly normal\u201d to have less interest in sex as we age. <\/p>\n

\u201cFor some, hormone-replacement therapy might be appropriate,\u201d he said.
\u201cFor others, more naturalistic things like yoga, meditation, and supplements can be helpful.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"Finding<\/p>\n

Marilyn Nieves via Getty Images<\/p>\n

Finding ways to reduce stress in your life can improve your libido and your overall well-being. <\/p>\n

Finding ways to alleviate stress may increase your desire for sex and make you happier and healthier overall. For example, Wise recommends daily breathing exercises to \u201caccess the healing power of the parasympathetic \u2018restorative\u2019 state.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMost of us spend most of our time in \u2018fight-or-flight,\u2019 which is when the body pumps out stress hormones that aren\u2019t meant to be flooding us so consistently,\u201d she said. \u201cThis perpetual state of hormonal stress erodes our sense of well-being and can put a kibosh on our sex drives, to boot.\u201d<\/p>\n

Take five minutes once or twice a day to do this practice. First, find a quiet spot to sit and \u201cgive yourself permission to be exactly as you are and for the moment to be exactly as it is,\u201d Wise said. This is also known as radical acceptance<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\u201cBy giving yourself permission to start from where you are, you can loosen and soften a whole lot of the stress we accumulate when we resist what is,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n

Then take a long, smooth inhalation through your nose and a long soft exhalation. <\/p>\n

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We remain committed to providing you with the unflinching, fact-based journalism everyone deserves.<\/p>\n

Thank you again for your support along the way. We\u2019re truly grateful for readers like you! Your initial support helped get us here and bolstered our newsroom, which kept us strong during uncertain times. Now as we continue, we need your help more than ever. We hope you will join us once again<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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\u201cWhen you make your exhalation longer than the inhalation, your brilliant body shifts your nervous system into the restorative mode, your heart slows down, and your stress hormones decrease,\u201d Wise said.<\/p>\n

When stress crops up throughout the day, consider that your cue to slow your breathing. <\/p>\n

\u201cYou may find that this simple practice becomes a wonderful new habit that enhances overall well-being and helps you tune into your lust for life \u2014 both in and out of the bedroom,\u201d Wise said. \u201dRemember, pleasure isn\u2019t a luxury. It\u2019s a necessity for a healthy mind and body and a life worth living!\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Living in an ageist culture that equates sex with youth, you may believe things fizzle out in the…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":170425,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[1081,210,7544,5598,67,132,68],"class_list":{"0":"post-170424","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-health","8":"tag-aging","9":"tag-health","10":"tag-relationship","11":"tag-sex","12":"tag-united-states","13":"tag-unitedstates","14":"tag-us"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/115080938466946619","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/170424","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=170424"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/170424\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/170425"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=170424"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=170424"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=170424"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}