\t\t\tmovie review\t\t<\/p>\n
\t\t\tTHE ROSES\t\t<\/p>\n
Running time: 105 minutes. Rated R (drugs, sexual content, and language throughout). In theaters.<\/p>\n
Bickering couples can be delicious to watch.<\/p>\n
Emma Thompson and Kenneth Branagh\u2019s Beatrice and Benedick lit a sexy match in \u201cMuch Ado About Nothing.\u201d And Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton boozily ripped each other to pieces in \u201cWho\u2019s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?\u201d<\/p>\n
And then there\u2019s Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman\u2019s \u201ctill death do us part\u201d duo in \u201cThe Roses.\u201d Many, many rungs down from their predecessors, this domestic blitz is weak and witless.<\/p>\n
The crabby characters are an unappetizing\u00a0and\u00a0cringey pair that would push a\u00a0person to find any excuse to sprint out of an awkward dinner party \u2014 or, I wish, an eerily silent movie theater \u2014 at the earliest possible convenience.<\/p>\n
Actually, the basic premise of director Jay Roach\u2019s film, based on the novel \u201cThe War of the Roses,\u201d is sadistic good fun. Partners\u2019 contempt turns deadly. And why not? Another 1989\u00a0screen\u00a0version starring Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas is well-liked, if not a classic.<\/p>\n
\t\t\tMore From\t\t\t\t\t\t\tJohnny Oleksinski<\/p>\n
This inferior one \u2014 more Nancy Meyers\u2019 Golden State real-estate porn than scorching black comedy \u2014 isn\u2019t smart, tense or fiery enough to render bad behavior into punchy entertainment. The movie\u00a0is\u00a0spicy as corn chowder. \u00a0<\/p>\n
Our terrible two are Theo\u00a0(Cumberbatch), a renowned architect, and Ivy\u00a0(Colman), a cook who abandoned a professional kitchen in London for the Fruit Loops of motherhood. \u00a0<\/p>\n
Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman play fighting spouses in \u201cThe Roses.\u201d AP<\/p>\n
When Theo\u2019s ambitious new California building\u00a0embarrassingly\u00a0collapses during a powerful storm, so does his career. On the same fateful night, Ivy\u2019s sparsely attended hobby restaurant, gratingly called We\u2019ve Got Crabs, gets a rave review from a prominent food critic, and business explodes.<\/p>\n
Roles suddenly reversed, so too does their resentment.<\/p>\n
Colman and Cumberbatch\u2019s appealing energy is always a pleasure \u2014 and clearly the draw\u00a0here\u00a0\u2014 but I didn\u2019t enjoy spending\u00a0my night\u00a0with the sourpusses it\u2019s wasted on.<\/p>\n
Ivy and Theo get no help from Tony McNamara\u2019s limp and glossy script. They\u2019re unfunny and unnatural. And, as he poisons her food and she sends damaging fake texts to his\u00a0co-workers,\u00a0their anger doesn\u2019t crescendo to catastrophe. My brows raised all the way to the thermosphere as they unconvincingly tried to kill each other with a gun and a chef\u2019s knife.<\/p>\n
As Ivy\u2019s (Colman) star rises, her husband Theo (Cumberbatch) endures an embarrassing career setback. AP<\/p>\n
Cruelty would seem to be these freaks\u2019 kink.\u00a0Another\u00a0impossible\u00a0plot\u00a0has Ivy repeatedly test Theo\u00a0by risking her life. Deathly allergic to raspberries, she scarfs down a mouthful and sees how long it takes her hubby to stick her with an EpiPen. That\u00a0thoughtless\u00a0inanity\u00a0lost me early on.<\/p>\n
Chemistry is a problem, too, because there isn\u2019t any. Rarely did I buy these actors as\u00a0legit\u00a0spouses, contented or miserable. The gag of their two kids as overly formal von Trapps doesn\u2019t work. And their escalating fight, because of the tonally confused writing and direction, earns a big \u201cyeah, right!\u201d<\/p>\n
As the battle turns to the ownership of a stun-o-rama\u00a0oceanside house Theo designed\u00a0\u2014 see: Nancy Meyers \u2014\u00a0Allison Janney stomps in as an over-the-top divorce lawyer and Kate McKinnon\u2019s brusque Amy unsubtly tries to get in Theo\u2019s pants. \u201cThe Roses\u201d does not lack ineffective broad humor.
Only strong writing and meaty parts.<\/p>\n
The escalating battle is unfunny and unbelievable. AP<\/p>\n
Cumberbatch, an actor who always looks like he\u2019s just smelled something funny, is fine. Consistently perturbed, he\u2019s Basil Fawlty after\u00a0a\u00a0lot of\u00a0Tylenol PM.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Colman is better, but in service of what, exactly?<\/p>\n