![\"Chris](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/SEI_245008865-672b-e1742820325224.jpg\")
\n\t\tI had numb patches, the feeling of a feather tickling my face,\u202for ants on my skin (Picture: Maxim Vinciguerra\/Infinity Focus)<\/p>\n
\t\t
\n\t\tI had numb patches, the feeling of a feather tickling my face,\u202for ants on my skin (Picture: Maxim Vinciguerra\/Infinity Focus)<\/p>\n
The GP looked over his glasses, smirked, and then started to laugh.\u202f\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u2018We may need to name a special little syndrome for you,\u2019 he said.\u00a0<\/p>\n
It was 2010 and I was once again trying to get someone to pay attention to my symptoms.<\/p>\n
By this point, I\u2019d spent years trying to convince myself that the feeling that no one believed me was paranoia. Yet I still went home, laughter ringing in my ears, and internalised it.<\/p>\n
Obviously this was my fault. I was hysterical, a hypochondriac<\/a>, a time waster. But I knew my symptoms were real.<\/p>\n It started in 2001. I was 30, freshly liberated from a relationship and had started a new job. Frankly, I was exhausted<\/a>.<\/p>\n That\u2019s no exaggeration, I felt hammered by fatigue<\/a> and was living on caffeine and adrenaline,\u202fconstantly collapsing on the sofa once home from work. And then the ghostly symptoms started.<\/p>\n Weird from the outset, even\u202fsupernatural at times, it felt like someone was grabbing my left wrist and ankle.\u202fSometimes I had numb patches, the feeling of a feather tickling my face,\u202for ants on my skin. I limped sometimes but not others.\u202f<\/p>\n \t\t I felt ridiculous saying it out loud. It was like I needed an exorcist rather than a doctor.<\/p>\n Still, I was dispatched to a neurologist who conducted a raft of tests, sending me for an MRI scan of my head. He then suggested that this could be multiple sclerosis (MS)<\/a> \u2013 a chronic disease that affects the central nervous system \u2013 which sent my stomach lurching.\u00a0<\/p>\n As a hospital-based nurse, my experience of MS was seeing patients who had an advanced version of the disease. Normally they were confined to beds or wheelchairs \u2013 I didn\u2019t understand then that the disease can present in many different ways.\u00a0<\/p>\n However, an\u202fMRI<\/a>\u202f(which is typically used to see if there is damage to the nerves in your brain or spinal cord), came back clear and I was discharged with no suggestions about what might be happening.\u00a0<\/p>\n I self-diagnosed a stress reaction, which made sense. But the symptoms persisted on and off for months, in fact, years.\u00a0<\/p>\n For the next 19 years my health waxed and waned. I had a merry-go-round of seeing\u202fGPs, neurologists,\u202fbeing scanned repeatedly and always told that there was nothing wrong with me.\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t Sometimes, if I saw someone new, doctors looked at me like I was being ridiculous when I told them my symptoms. Or, like on that one occasion in 2010, I was actually laughed out of the GP surgery.<\/p>\n One time,\u202fI went temporarily blind in my left eye<\/a> and was told it was likely to be MS. But I was once again dismissed when the brain scan was clear.<\/p>\n Even after I received\u202fa clinic letter saying that the consultant was \u2018utterly convinced\u2019 that I had MS, a further brain scan\u202fled to the same\u202fpunchline.\u202f<\/p>\n I felt isolated and frustrated,\u202fas did my partner.\u00a0<\/p>\n While he was as patient and supportive as he could be, he didn\u2019t understand why I was having these symptoms \u2013 always tired, always cancelling things \u2013 and neither did I.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n A family member once\u202fsuggested that the obvious answer was that it was \u2018all in my head\u2019. Funnily enough, in a way, they were right.<\/p>\n \t\t In 2020 I had a\u00a0relapse\u202f\u2013 where new symptoms arrive or old ones get worse \u2013 \u202fthat was so catastrophic it left me with a numb left side, limping, falling asleep in unexpected places and feeling constantly queasy until eventually I landed in casualty.<\/p>\n Another MRI scan (I\u2019d lost count of the\u202fnumber I\u2019d had by then) was ordered, only this time, it showed that my brain was peppered with scarring where MS had damaged my brain and spine.\u202f<\/p>\n In all likelihood, I\u2019d had MS this whole time but the scarring before this major attack had always been minor and therefore didn\u2019t show up on tests. Now though, the damage was pronounced and dramatic making it impossible to miss.\u00a0<\/p>\n Finally I had the diagnosis<\/a> I\u2019d been searching for, for 19 years.<\/p>\n You\u2019d think, after all that time I\u2019d be ready for it. Yet, in spite of the multiple times I\u2019d been told I might have MS, it came as a huge shock and left me feeling unmoored and afraid for the future.<\/p>\n Oddly, I also felt relieved and validated. Everything made sense.<\/p>\n \t\t I saw a psychologist to help me adjust, a specialist nurse to talk through treatments,\u202fand a dedicated MS consultant. They were all empathetic about the delay to diagnosis and offered me help to find ways to stay in work.<\/p>\n With their recognition and support,\u202fI carried on working as a palliative care specialist nurse for another three years \u2013 though I did eventually have to retire on health grounds due to severe fatigue (a common MS symptom).<\/p>\n Sadly, as I well knew, there is no cure for MS. But I\u2019m now on monthly injections to try to stop it damaging my nervous system further.\u202fEven then though, I still have constant nerve pain, chronic fatigue, and areas of numbness.<\/p>\n My life has irrevocably changed since the diagnosis. Where I used to go to the theatre twice a week or spend hours walking my dog around London, I now spend much more time at home. Luckily, I\u2019ve found pleasure in reading and watching films.<\/p>\n On the days when my symptoms are less, I embrace them wholeheartedly, making the most of that time to do things I otherwise can\u2019t now. As a result, we are planning on swapping the hectic whirl of the capital for a slower pace of life on the South Coast.<\/p>\n Mainly, I wish there hadn\u2019t been 19 years of the merry go round of \u2018does he\/doesn\u2019t he\u2019 have MS.\u00a0<\/p>\n Having a diagnosis wouldn\u2019t have changed what medical treatment I had because the MS wasn\u2019t bad enough then to need medication, but it would have helped me feel validated.<\/p>\n \t\t\t\tFind out more\t\t\t<\/p>\n Chris Bridge\u2019s latest book Sick To Death came out on 27 March. Order your copy here<\/a>.<\/p>\n Maybe then I wouldn\u2019t have spent almost two decades feeling like I was being dismissed and labelled as being hysterical or making it all up. Perhaps I wouldn\u2019t have been left to cope alone each time the MRI scans were clear.<\/p>\n Whether the scans were or weren\u2019t showing MS, I was struggling and deserved support and understanding.<\/p>\n I know my story is not the only one like this: Many people frequently have neurological symptoms without a diagnosis and are often dismissed.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n But people with functional symptoms (symptoms with no obvious physical cause) need and deserve as much help as anyone else \u2013\u202fwe just don\u2019t always get it. I\u2019d like to see that change.\u00a0<\/p>\n In the meantime, I\u2019ve channelled my anger and frustration into writing.\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n I\u2019ve always written and am a crime fiction fan so decided to write about a woman with neurological issues and the chaos that ensues when she\u2019s drawn into a murder plot. This lead character is discredited, disrespected and coping alone. Sound familiar?\u00a0<\/p>\n Mainly,\u202fthe catharsis from expressing my feeling of alienation, fear and rage on the page has been intense,\u202fbut finally my \u2018special little syndrome\u2019 has found a home on paper and\u202fI feel seen.\u00a0<\/p>\n This article was originally published March 25, 2025<\/p>\n Do you have a story you\u2019d like to share? Get in touch by emailing jess.austin@metro.co.uk<\/a>.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n Share your views in the comments below.<\/strong><\/p>\n Arrow Arrow![\"Chris](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/SEI_245008862-9578-e1742819997711.jpg\")
\n\t\tI self-diagnosed a stress reaction, which made sense (Picture: Chris Bridges)<\/p>\n![\"Chris](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/SEI_245008894-50f2-e1742820025674.jpg\")
\n\t\tI went temporarily blind in my left eye and was told it was likely to be MS (Picture: Chris Bridges)<\/p>\n![\"Chris](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/SEI_245008895-4989-e1742820049836.jpg\")
\n\t\tFinally I had the diagnosis I\u2019d been searching for, for 19 years (Picture: Chris Bridges)<\/p>\n![\"Chris](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/SEI_245008863-efa2-e1742820063176.jpg\")
\n\t\tThere is no cure for MS (Picture: Chris Bridges)<\/p>\n
\nMORE: I had sex with a man I loathed \u2013 and it was incredible<\/a><\/p>\n
\nMORE: I was punished for not telling my boss about my disability<\/a><\/p>\n