{"id":235019,"date":"2025-09-17T23:52:12","date_gmt":"2025-09-17T23:52:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/235019\/"},"modified":"2025-09-17T23:52:12","modified_gmt":"2025-09-17T23:52:12","slug":"my-mother-in-laws-money-saving-hack-at-the-grocery-story-is-mortifying-shes-got-to-stop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/235019\/","title":{"rendered":"My mother-in-law’s “money-saving hack” at the grocery story is mortifying. She’s got to stop!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Pay Dirt is Slate\u2019s money advice column. Have a question? <\/strong>Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here<\/strong><\/a>. (It\u2019s anonymous!)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Pay Dirt,<\/strong><\/p>\n

My mother-in-law does something in grocery stores when we are out shopping that I find upsetting.<\/p>\n

She will use the self-checkout and when buying produce, will punch in a code for a cheaper item.\u00a0She thinks it\u2019s a good way to save money.\u00a0To me, it feels like stealing.\u00a0When I told my husband about it, he shrugged and said she\u2019s been doing it forever.\u00a0I\u2019m afraid she\u2019s going to get in trouble one of these days.\u00a0How can I get through to my mother-in-law that this is wrong and sooner or later is going to bite her in the ass?<\/p>\n

\u2014Unauthorized Discount<\/p>\n

Dear Discount,<\/strong><\/p>\n

What you\u2019re describing is technically theft, even if it\u2019s minor or commonplace, so yeah, I get why you feel uneasy.<\/p>\n

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    Sometimes when people have lived through financial hardship or felt squeezed by unfair systems, their sense of right and wrong can get recalibrated. They start seeing small acts of defiance, like gaming the self-checkout, as ways to reclaim a little fairness or even justice from a system that rarely gives them any. That doesn\u2019t make it okay, but it might help explain why she and your husband don\u2019t see it the way you do. I\u2019m not trying to excuse her behavior \u2014 it\u2019s totally shoplifting. But the point is that it\u2019s clashing with your own moral compass, and she needs to know this bothers you.<\/p>\n

    When you talk to your mother-in-law about this, focus on your concern for her well-being, rather than your own moral judgment. You might say something like, \u201cI know you\u2019ve been doing this for a long time, but I\u2019d hate for something small like this to turn into a big problem for you.\u201d If you frame it as a risk instead of a lecture, that could make it easier for her to hear you without getting defensive. You could also point out that saving a few bucks might not be worth the stress or potential consequences.<\/p>\n

    If she brushes it off again, you might need to accept that you\u2019ve said your piece and let it go unless it directly involves you. You could refuse to shop with her if she does this. If it makes you uncomfortable and she doesn\u2019t seem to care, it\u2019s time to draw a line.<\/p>\n

    \u2014Kristin<\/p>\n

    More Money Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

    My husband and I have what one could call a \u201ctraditional\u201d marriage: He works, and I tend the home. Since we\u2019re child-free and I already finished college, I suppose you could call me a trophy wife, but firstly, I\u2019m nonbinary, and secondly, that\u2019s the rub. Whenever we meet new couples at social gatherings, the first question is always, \u201cAnd what do you do?\u201d On paper, not much! <\/a><\/p>\n

    The latest sex, parenting, and money advice from our columnists delivered to your inbox three times a week.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Pay Dirt is Slate\u2019s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here. (It\u2019s…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":235020,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[600,64,255,1087,5597,67,132,68],"class_list":{"0":"post-235019","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-personal-finance","8":"tag-advice","9":"tag-business","10":"tag-personal-finance","11":"tag-relationships","12":"tag-slate-plus","13":"tag-united-states","14":"tag-unitedstates","15":"tag-us"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/115222331133215252","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235019","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=235019"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235019\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/235020"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=235019"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=235019"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=235019"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}