We\u2019re five games into the Premier League season and some of the fears over big summer signings are being realised.<\/p>\n
All of Liverpool, Manchester United and Arsenal appear to have made striker blunders, while Chelsea have signed a downgrade and Newcastle can\u2019t get better than Jacob Murphy.<\/p>\n
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Viktor Gyokeres is a \u2018flat-track bully\u2019\u00a0<\/strong> He\u2019s scored three in five games so far, two against newly promoted Leeds and the third against a Nottingham Forest side whose manager was actively seeking the sack. Not only has he failed to score against Manchester United, Liverpool and Manchester City, he\u2019s accrued an xG of 0.0 in those three games.<\/p>\n Mikel Arteta says Gyokeres is \u201ctrying his best\u201d<\/a><\/strong>, bless him, and we assume the Arsenal boss will continue to insist a lack of service is to blame until Kai Havertz returns to fitness and replaces the Swede for these big games.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Jamie Gittens is a Noni Madueke downgrade<\/strong> He looks like a man who doesn\u2019t truly believe he should be there, in many ways the antithesis of Madueke, who may not have set the world alight at Stamford Bridge, but never lacked for confidence. And after his fine start at Arsenal, it feels as though Chelsea have simply nurtured, developed and improved one winger to aid their Premier League rivals and replaced him with another at the start of that journey, very possibly without the same self-belief to take those positive steps forward.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Florian Wirtz is too lightweight<\/strong> As much as anything, we all just need a stick to beat the Premier League champions-elect with right now, and much of the criticism is based around the fear of just how f***ed everyone else is when he and Liverpool actually start playing well. We\u2019re getting the jabs in while we still can.<\/p>\n A common slam is how easily he appears to get knocked off the ball. And he does look lightweight, but we are now all looking for examples which we\u2019re guessing could be found by analysing the footage of plenty of Premier League No.10s. We don\u2019t particularly remember Phil Foden or James Maddison bullying their way through opposition challenges, for example.<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Benjamin Sesko is the new Rasmus Hojlund<\/strong> That was one of eight touches for Sesko<\/strong><\/a> in a half of football against 10 men in which he completed three passes, had no shots and didn\u2019t attempt a dribble. He\u2019s had five shots in 207 minutes of Premier League football.\u00a0We know what you\u2019re thinking \u2013 if only he was getting the service. Sound familiar?<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Liverpool don\u2019t need Hugo Ekitike\u00a0and\u00a0Alexander Isak<\/strong> Alan Shearer reckons Slot \u201chas to play\u201d Ekitike<\/a><\/strong> after his fine start to life at Anfield, but although we would all revel in Isak continuing to watch Liverpool games rather than playing in them after escaping that whole-season reality on deadline day, Slot also sort of has to play him, doesn\u2019t he?<\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n Eberechi Eze is not a left winger<\/strong> Martinelli wouldn\u2019t still be at Arsenal if they had received a good enough offer for the Brazilian, but still looks like their best bet on the left wing over Eze, very simply because Martinelli is a left winger and Eze is not.<\/p>\n Arteta should accept Havertz-esque defeat now<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n \u00a0<\/p>\n
The major concern having watched Gyokeres plunder a gazillion goals for Sporting was whether he could match or even get near those goalscoring heights against superior opposition in the Premier League. The stats are damning.<\/p>\n
It doesn\u2019t say much for Gittens\u2019 standing five games into his career at Chelsea that at no point amid Enzo Maresca\u2019s irrational substitutions against Manchester United on Saturday<\/a><\/strong> was there any great dismay at him failing to turn to the \u00a348.5m winger to get them back into the game. At least Alejandro Garnacho was on the verge of being introduced before being snubbed in favour of Tyrique George and Malo Gusto.<\/p>\n
While we totally understand why he\u2019s been targeted and have absolutely jumped on the bandwagon, Wirtz has not been half as bad as the Liverpool-baiting media and fan responses to his performances<\/a><\/strong> would suggest.<\/p>\n
There has perhaps been no greater sign of just how far the Manchester United stock has fallen than their fans batting away criticism of their new \u00a367m striker after he was hooked at half-time in the victory over Chelsea by extolling the virtues of an Andy Carroll-esque flick-on from a long punt up the pitch.<\/p>\n
As great headaches for a manager go, the struggle to choose between a striker who\u2019s already got four goals and an assist and the most expensive Premier League signing of all time is a real doozy.<\/p>\n
We don\u2019t suppose Arsenal fans care all that much which left winger changed the game and secured victory in their Champions League opener before scoring an equaliser against their title rivals in the very next game, but you would have got pretty long odds on that player being Gabriel Martinelli at the start of the summer transfer window. Nico Williams or Rodrygo may have been more likely.<\/p>\n