Rich@DallasVoice.com<\/a><\/p>\n
Her partner had passed. She had a birthday coming up. It was a time just ripe for reflection. So, Kathy Metcalf thought, \u201cWhat the hell?\u201d And she wrote her third book, which is her first memoir.<\/p>\n
\u201cI figured I was getting old, and I don\u2019t really have any family left to embarrass. So I wanted to write this book about my life in Dallas,\u201d she explained.<\/p>\n
Metcalf, 77, released her book, You Don\u2019t Have to be Happy to Be Gay, this past June. It follows her first novel, Forbes Road, which was published in December 2024, and it\u2019s prequel, Before Forbes Road, which also came out in June of this year.<\/p>\n
She thought long and hard about whether to write her memoir, ultimately deciding to go ahead and tackle her own story.<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/FISHING-AT-TURTLE-CREEK-1952.jpg\")
Kathy Metcalf, shown her fishing in Turtle Creek as a child, grew up in Oak Lawn<\/p>\n
While Metcalf hasn\u2019t written the first ever lesbian autobiography, she has painted a vivid picture of Dallas \u2014 specifically Oak Lawn \u2014 during a time that is often overlooked: the days before Oak Lawn became the Gayborhood.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was born in 1948, and my family had lived over on Wycliff. They were quite young when they started a family,\u201d she said of her parents. \u201cIt didn\u2019t really become a gay neighborhood until the \u201970s.\u201d<\/p>\n
Metcalf has lived in Dallas her entire life, and she\u2019s seen first hand how the city and the community have changed. She lived on Rawlins as the first gay bars were popping up on Cedar Springs. She recalls how the space now occupied by Sue Ellen\u2019s was once an auto garage.<\/p>\n
But her growing up years were a far different time than now for anyone figuring out they were gay or lesbian, especially seeing those years through Metcalf\u2019s local lens.<\/p>\n
\u201cBeing gay was not ads \u2018in your face\u2019 as it is now,\u201d she recalled. \u201cI had questions back then about feeling the way I did and what was wrong with me. I just didn\u2019t fit in.\u201d<\/p>\n
Now older and wiser, Metcalf can answer the questions that for so long she found no resolution for. Writing this book about her life, she said, has been cathartic, a peace offering of sorts to her own turmoil.<\/p>\n
The description on Amazon of Metcalf\u2019s book reads: \u201cI need to answer unanswered questions, calm the uncertainties, realize my expectations and solidify the confusion about my place, as a person, in this world.\u201d<\/p>\n
She talks about coming out at 20 when folks that age were considered full-fledged adults.<\/p>\n
She recalls commuting to North Texas and how, at 21, she began discovering the gay scene in Dallas. She recalls trips to gay bars that were, at the time, scattered throughout the city, and she relates how she meet her future partner although she was in a relationship with another woman at the time. Her memories lead the reader all the way to 2023 which, Metcalf said, was her worst year ever. But it was that bad year that provided the impetus to start writing her memoir.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat was a horrible year,\u201d Metcalf said. \u201cI got diagnosed with cancer, which I\u2019ve survived. In the middle part of that year we lost our pets. And then in the latter part, Dee got cancer. She didn\u2019t survive.<\/p>\n
\u201cI was digging graves one after the other.\u201d<\/p>\n
This series of losses and the grief it brought pushed her to put her own story down on paper. \u201cI\u2019m sure it was me grieving the past, looking back and reflecting on all that,\u201d she said. \u201cI lost my partner that year, and we had been together for 38 years. It was devastating, and it also makes you aware of your own mortality.\u201d<\/p>\n
Metcalf said that the process of writing her memoir has taught her a big lesson \u2014 one she wants to share with others: \u201cThe biggest mistake we make in life is that we think we have time. And at my age, that\u2019s not realistic. I feel like I can see a light at the end of my tunnel.\u201d<\/p>\n
Metcalf has had a big life, and she admits she\u2019s not finished just yet. She is, in fact, already hard at work on her next book, one that will be for children.<\/p>\n
And all in all, Metcalf sounds quite fulfilled with the life she\u2019s had and the life she has still ahead of her. \u201cI didn\u2019t do too bad for a little gay girl,\u201d she said. n<\/p>\n
You Don\u2019t Have to Be Happy to Be Gay is available through Amazon, as are her two novels.<\/p>\n
\n\tRelated<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Author Kathy Metcalf\u2019s memoir recalls Oak Lawn before it was gay RICH LOPEZ | Staff writerRich@DallasVoice.com Her partner…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":261646,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5135],"tags":[2431,5229,1022,1596,136892,136893,5603,136894,15408,358,3187,67,586,132,5230,68,2969,136895],"class_list":{"0":"post-261645","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-dallas","8":"tag-amazon","9":"tag-america","10":"tag-books","11":"tag-dallas","12":"tag-gayborhood","13":"tag-kathy-metcalf","14":"tag-lgbtq","15":"tag-lgbtq-author","16":"tag-rich-lopez","17":"tag-texas","18":"tag-tx","19":"tag-united-states","20":"tag-united-states-of-america","21":"tag-unitedstates","22":"tag-unitedstatesofamerica","23":"tag-us","24":"tag-usa","25":"tag-you-dont-have-to-be-happy-to-be-gay"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/115282768941431576","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261645","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=261645"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/261645\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/261646"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=261645"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=261645"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=261645"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}