Dear Annie: My husband and I have a large family, and earlier this year we welcomed our newest baby, \u201cIzzy.\u201d The pregnancy went smoothly, and everyone thought she was healthy until about half a week after coming home, when she began showing concerning symptoms. We\u2019ve been working closely with her doctor ever since and recently learned she has a rare genetic condition. It\u2019s incurable, causes severe symptoms and is usually fatal in childhood.<\/p>\n
We\u2019re OK sharing information about her condition with concerned family and friends in our children\u2019s school group. However, I\u2019m not sure how to respond when strangers in public notice something is clearly off. I want to respect Izzy\u2019s medical privacy, but I also don\u2019t want to arouse suspicion that we\u2019re hiding something.<\/p>\n
The first time a stranger pointed out how \u201cfloppy\u201d Izzy was, I tried to brush it off while acknowledging it was true. We now believe that this same person reported us to child protective services on the suspicion that our home was somehow medically unfit for our children to live in. This is an assumption and there was no real basis for them to think this if it\u2019s true; child protective services never obtained a warrant to actually come search our home or ask us questions. Although nothing came of it, we want to avoid that happening again in the future.<\/p>\n
The next time someone in public asked, \u201cIs your baby OK?\u201d I just said she was fine and moved on. Then I felt bad because I don\u2019t want to lie, and it\u2019s obvious something is wrong. I\u2019m wondering if I should come up with a bare-minimum response to avoid the busybodies and others, like child protective services, getting involved when we\u2019re already overwhelmed dealing with this as a family. What are your thoughts? — Medical Mama<\/p>\n
Dear Medical Mama: The stress you and Izzy are carrying doesn\u2019t fall under the small talk umbrella. You don\u2019t owe strangers private details about your life or your family — period. <\/p>\n
The next time it comes up, have something short and simple in your back pocket that respects Izzy\u2019s privacy but shuts down more questions. Something like, \u201cShe has a rare condition, but she\u2019s doing well. She\u2019s getting excellent medical care and is so loved.\u201d <\/p>\n
You can\u2019t control what others think or say, but you can control how much of your energy you give them. Save it for Izzy and the rest of your family. That\u2019s where it belongs.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?\u201d is out now! Annie Lane\u2019s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http:\/\/www.creatorspublishing.com<\/a> for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n COPYRIGHT 2025 CREATORS.COM<\/a><\/p>\n If you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation. By using this site, you consent to our User Agreement<\/a> and agree that your clicks, interactions, and personal information may be collected, recorded, and\/or stored by us and social media and other third-party partners in accordance with our Privacy Policy.<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Dear Annie: My husband and I have a large family, and earlier this year we welcomed our newest…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":277439,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[26],"tags":[31237,630,9240,4284,91055,4637,143447,31142,77168,31245,44663,815,9872,57470,28607,6359,29673,18996,2252,46405,4818,1083,27770,24659,159,143448,31820,67,132,68,3851,11459],"class_list":{"0":"post-277438","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-genetics","8":"tag-aid","9":"tag-baby","10":"tag-background","11":"tag-banner","12":"tag-birth","13":"tag-body","14":"tag-born","15":"tag-boy","16":"tag-caucasian","17":"tag-dad","18":"tag-feet","19":"tag-genetics","20":"tag-girl","21":"tag-healthy","22":"tag-hold","23":"tag-human","24":"tag-infant","25":"tag-kid","26":"tag-life","27":"tag-little","28":"tag-love","29":"tag-medical","30":"tag-mom","31":"tag-person","32":"tag-science","33":"tag-tiny","34":"tag-together","35":"tag-united-states","36":"tag-unitedstates","37":"tag-us","38":"tag-white","39":"tag-woman"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/115316612349955596","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/277438","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=277438"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/277438\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/277439"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=277438"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=277438"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=277438"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}