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Illustration: Greg Clarke<\/p>\nIllustration: Greg Clarke<\/p>\n
I\u2019ve spent most of my life knowing there are some things I can never resist (pie, wine, barbecue) and others I love but consume less of as a matter of self discipline (breakfast pastries, cocktails, steak). This practice of saying \u201cno, thanks\u201d has always helped me justify my tendency toward overindulgence.\u00a0<\/p>\n
For decades, fries have been on my watch list. I\u2019d always ask to sub a side salad at lunch cafes, and insist at hot dog stands that I don\u2019t want the fries even if they \u201ccome with\u201d and even if I have to pay the same price. (Despite the threat, I almost always got a buck off.)\u00a0<\/p>\n
I could resist fries until I couldn\u2019t. Maybe it was the pandemic that opened my eyes to the all-too-real pleasure of fishing fries from the bottom of a paper bag. Now I obsess over them. This job has given me the opportunity to scout out the best fries in Chicago, because if they\u2019re on a menu I\u2019ll never say no.\u00a0<\/p>\n
My criteria \u2014 highly subjective to be sure \u2014 rule out many kinds of fries other people would put on their best lists. For starters, I\u2019m a shape purist. Potato wedges, curly fries, and waffle fries, tasty as they are, could never make the cut. I also flat-out reject any fries coated in seasoning powder. Particularly egregious are those blends that contain sugar and citric acid in addition to the usual garlic powder, onion powder, and paprika. Fries should be seasoned with salt, full stop. Though this may be my most controversial position, I don\u2019t think shoestring fries belong on the list. Eating a full portion of shoestrings always gives me that \u201ctoo much grease\u201d feeling. I\u2019ve rarely finished a bag of McDonald\u2019s fries, though that first four-fingered scoopful is admittedly a great food moment.\u00a0<\/p>\n
A fry should be about a quarter inch thick and crisp enough that you can snap it in two. The interior can be creamy like puree or chalky like a baked potato, but ideally have a fluffy texture somewhere between the two.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s another thing: a fry should be delicious on its own. I\u2019m down with all the fancy housemade sauces and a\u00efolis chefs like to serve with their fries but I haven\u2019t found one yet that bests Heinz ketchup. In fact, I\u2019ve always been tempted to sneak packets of Heinz into restaurants but I know that would be disrespectful.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Here are my top three picks:<\/p>\n
How do you make fries taste like butter? With butter. At this new restaurant from the Elske team, chef Tayler Ploshehanski has put thought into the two-step frying process that gives pommes frites their snap. The first fry at around 325 degrees makes the starch swell and move toward the cut surface. The second at around 375 degrees turns it crisp and brown. Ploshehanski uses clarified butter for flavor and rice bran oil, which has one of the highest smoke points of any fat, for crispness. The result is a marvel of craggy, golden snap, and a flavor like drawn butter. The fries have a perfect texture, inside and out. She serves fermented garlic a\u00efoli and caramelized onion chutney, which I found tasty but unnecessary. I may work up the courage to ask for ketchup next time. ($10)<\/p>\n