{"id":292701,"date":"2025-10-10T19:24:13","date_gmt":"2025-10-10T19:24:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/292701\/"},"modified":"2025-10-10T19:24:13","modified_gmt":"2025-10-10T19:24:13","slug":"my-in-laws-are-letting-my-kid-do-something-dangerous-at-their-house-my-husbands-reaction-is-not-ok","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/292701\/","title":{"rendered":"My in-laws are letting my kid do something dangerous at their house. My husband’s reaction is not OK."},"content":{"rendered":"

Care and Feeding is Slate\u2019s parenting advice column.\u00a0Have a question for Care and Feeding?\u00a0<\/strong>Submit it here<\/strong><\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Care and Feeding,\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

I recently discovered what I still can\u2019t believe: My in-laws have been allowing our 15-year-old son, \u201cDavid,\u201d to drink beer at their house. Apparently, this has been going on for months!<\/p>\n

The worst part? My husband, \u201cWalter,\u201d thinks it\u2019s no big deal. He even admitted that his parents let him do the same thing at David\u2019s age! His excuse is that it\u2019s \u201cjust one beer with dinner\u201d and they\u2019re not letting him get drunk\u2014so it\u2019s fine.<\/p>\n

I disagree entirely. I told my in-laws that David\u2014and his younger brother\u2014will not be visiting them for the foreseeable future. Now Walter, his parents, and even David are ganging up on me, claiming I\u2019m overreacting.<\/p>\n

David is about to get his driver\u2019s license within the year, and I am terrified of what could happen if he\u2019s ever pulled over with alcohol on his breath\u2014or worse, how it might impair his judgment while driving.<\/p>\n

What are my options here?<\/p>\n

\u2014My Teen Should Be a Teetotaler<\/p>\n

Dear My Teen Should,\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

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    This Part of Parenting Comes With a Cost. And I\u2019m Really Starting to Feel It.
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    You have every right to put your foot down and say that your minor son should not be drinking under any circumstances. However, try to be understanding of your husband\u2019s position; his parents let him drink as a kid and thus, he doesn\u2019t see a problem with it. His family\u2019s position isn\u2019t exactly unique, as there are some folks who think it\u2019s better to let a young person experiment with alcohol at home than to let them discover it on the streets.\u00a0Explain to him kindly that drinking a beer with family can easily be a gateway to sneaking booze behind your backs and that you do not want to send your son the message that drinking at 15 is OK.<\/p>\n

    Furthermore, teens do not have great alcohol tolerance and a beer (or two) at dinner absolutely could lead to devastating consequences if he were to drive afterward. Let your in-laws know that you are not wavering on your stance, and that your boys can\u2019t visit with them until you have their word that they won\u2019t allow them to drink until they are of age. Tell your sons that your rule may not be fun, but it is designed to keep them alive and from harming others. Everyone can be mad at you if they want, but you know that what you are doing is in your children\u2019s best interest.<\/p>\n

    \u2014Jamilah<\/p>\n

    More Parenting Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

    When I first met my husband, he told me he\u2019d never touched a drink, never smoked, and never taken any sort of drug. He had a family history of addiction, and having seen what it does to people, he decided it probably wasn\u2019t worth it. As someone who never became addicted to alcohol but partied a bit too hard in my early 20s, I really respected that. He never asked that I not drink, though by the time I met him, I wasn\u2019t going out often anyways. Over time, his relationship with his alcoholic mother grew worse until we had to cut her out of our lives entirely, and his sister recently died of a drug overdose. He\u2019s since become a health fanatic. We have three kids between the ages of 13 and 9. He\u2019s now obsessed with\u00a0perceived unhealthiness in our family, and it\u2019s doing something really strange to our kids.<\/a><\/p>\n

    The latest sex, parenting, and money advice from our columnists delivered to your inbox three times a week.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Care and Feeding is Slate\u2019s parenting advice column.\u00a0Have a question for Care and Feeding?\u00a0Submit it here. Dear Care…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":292702,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[600,246,210,251,5597,67,132,68],"class_list":{"0":"post-292701","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-health","8":"tag-advice","9":"tag-family","10":"tag-health","11":"tag-kids","12":"tag-slate-plus","13":"tag-united-states","14":"tag-unitedstates","15":"tag-us"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/292701","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=292701"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/292701\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/292702"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=292701"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=292701"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=292701"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}