{"id":324570,"date":"2025-10-22T19:11:13","date_gmt":"2025-10-22T19:11:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/324570\/"},"modified":"2025-10-22T19:11:13","modified_gmt":"2025-10-22T19:11:13","slug":"nyc-did-not-want-me-there-once-i-had-kids-why-parents-are-fleeing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/324570\/","title":{"rendered":"\u2018NYC did not want me there once I had kids\u2019: Why parents are fleeing"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sign up for Chalkbeat New York\u2019s free daily newsletter<\/a> to get essential news about NYC\u2019s public schools delivered to your inbox.<\/p>\n

Mayoral frontrunner Zohran Mamdani\u2019s big education agenda, free child care for all, aims to keep families with young children in New York City. <\/p>\n

But would the program, costing an estimated $6 billion a year<\/a>, convince families to stay for elementary school?<\/p>\n

Child care is just one piece of an interconnected web of affordability and education issues that influence whether families leave the city when they have children. Also in play: housing, availability of after-school programs, school quality<\/a>, and navigating school admissions, whether for kindergarten or looking ahead to middle<\/a> and high school<\/a>. For many, having a second or third child<\/a> also changes the calculus, several parents told Chalkbeat.<\/p>\n

The city\u2019s free prekindergarten program didn\u2019t stop thousands of families who applied to the program for 4-year-olds last year from leaving the public school system before kindergarten this year, according to Education Department application data. <\/p>\n

Roughly 52,400 children submitted applications for pre-K seats in the 2024-25 school year. But when it came time for those children to apply to kindergarten the following year, there was a considerable dropoff to about 46,370, a dip of about 12%. <\/p>\n

In the prior two years, the number of kindergarten and preschool applications more closely matched. <\/p>\n

It seems unlikely that the difference is explained by families moving to private school for kindergarten. Enrollment in the early grades in private schools has declined the last few years, said Ryan Coughlan<\/a>, an associate professor at Baruch College\u2019s Marxe School of Public and International Affairs. (Enrollment at private schools has increased at middle and high schools.) <\/p>\n

Alan Gu\u2019s twins would have entered kindergarten in New York City this year, but he and his husband left their brownstone in Brooklyn for Jersey City. Finding a suitable public school with an affordable after-school program that aligned with their work schedules felt untenable. <\/p>\n

Concerned about the performance of the neighborhood school, Gu felt fortunate last year to get his kids into a sought-after free pre-K program in Manhattan\u2019s Chinatown, but that required waking up at 5:30 a.m. and commuting about an hour on two subway lines to a 15-minute walk with his then 4-year-olds. His kids were exhausted and mentally drained. So was Gu.<\/p>\n

For the first three weeks, the school offered no after-care program. When after-care finally launched, it ended at 5 p.m., forcing Gu to leave work early, around 4 p.m. Sometimes, he\u2019d bring his kids back to his office so he could get more work done. Often he was late and felt like a \u201cbad parent.\u201d The cost, $150 per child each week, didn\u2019t make sense to him. <\/p>\n

Gu, who works in human resources and had lived in New York for more than 10 years, previously thought he \u201cwould die\u201d before moving to New Jersey.<\/p>\n

Then he visited the Newport area in Jersey City. It felt safe and had about a 25-minute commute to Manhattan. He was impressed by the local public school.<\/p>\n

\u201cNot only were they helpful, it didn\u2019t seem like it was a secret on how to get into the school,\u201d Gu said. <\/p>\n

The school had morning care starting at 7 a.m. and after-care lasting until 6 p.m. \u2014 and it cost less than his kids\u2019 program in Chinatown. He pulled the twins out and moved across the Hudson River two months before the school year ended. <\/p>\n

Now that they\u2019re not traveling nearly an hour each way to school, his twins have energy for an array of activities, like ballet, tap, hip hop, and jiu jitsu \u2014 paying almost less combined than for their swim lessons in the city. And he no longer feels like he has to fight for things, like he did in the city, such as speech therapy services for his children.<\/p>\n

Out of 14 families of his twins\u2019 pre-K class, only three stayed in the city for kindergarten, he said. <\/p>\n

\u201cI felt like New York City did not want me there once I had kids,\u201d Gu said.<\/p>\n

Schools and housing often a reason for leaving the city<\/p>\n

The mayoral candidates have all embraced the need to bolster child care, with Mamdani making it one of his three signature platforms, alongside a rent freeze and free buses.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s pricing out New Yorkers from the city,\u201d he said during last week\u2019s debate.<\/p>\n

Education Department officials said a variety of factors might influence application rate fluctuations, and in summer 2024, they did a research survey<\/a> to help understand how families make school choices. The survey found that 40% left the school system because they moved out of the city, and of those who left, the top three reasons were: a \u201cbetter environment to raise kids,\u201d \u201cconcerns about schools,\u201d and \u201cmore housing space.\u201d <\/p>\n

Kristyna Frantz, a mom to a preschooler and twin babies, left in December after a decade in Washington Heights, moving to New Jersey\u2019s Union County and commuting more than an hour to her communications job in the Financial District.<\/p>\n

She had spaced her pregnancies so the older would be in 3K, the city\u2019s free pre-K program for 3-year-olds, when the second was born and could be in day care. But having twins changed everything. The day care at her older son\u2019s program increased in price more than 11% from when he started as a 5-month old, bringing the total to more than $2,000 a month per kid, which was prohibitive for her. <\/p>\n

It sped up their timeline to move to New Jersey, where her husband is from, and where her in-laws still live and could provide an extra layer of child care. <\/p>\n

\u201cThe 3-K was really what got my husband to stay for our first kid,\u201d Frantz said. She believes the economics would have worked if they had free or subsidized child care for the twins. \u201cWe could have crunched the numbers and I could have said, \u2018I know you want to move to New Jersey and mow the lawn, but this math isn\u2019t mathing.\u201d <\/p>\n

\"AThe scene at a Sept. 7 New Yorkers for Child Care rally. (Courtesy photo) <\/p>\n

Both Frantz and Gu have been advocating for affordable child care<\/a> through the grassroots group New Yorkers United for Child Care, which on Wednesday released a roadmap on how to achieve free child care for 2-year-olds<\/a> within four years. Along with the policy organization United Neighborhood Houses, they called for an initial focus on the city\u2019s highest poverty areas. <\/p>\n

Rebecca Bailin, executive director of New Yorkers United for Child Care, believes the initiative is key to keep the city\u2019s diversity and help families here grow. <\/p>\n

\u201cWe have seen people say when their kids are 0 to 2: I just have to make it to 3K or pre-K,\u2019\u201d said Bailin, \u201cbut I imagine as they\u2019re thinking about that second kid they\u2019re realizing, \u2018Oh God, I have to do this all over again and potentially get a bigger apartment and pay for after care.\u201d <\/p>\n

Inspiration, advice, and best practices for the classroom \u2014 learn from teachers like you.<\/p>\n

Across all of our bureaus, Chalkbeat reporters interview educators with interesting, effective approaches to teaching students and leading their schools. Get the best of How I Teach sent to your inbox for free every month.<\/p>\n

Families with young kids flee NYC at double the rate<\/p>\n

Households with young children were twice as likely to leave New York City than those without young children, according to a 2024 analysis from the Fiscal Policy Institute<\/a>. Black and Latino New Yorkers were also leaving at higher rates, the report found. In terms of school demographics, the number of Black students fell 13% over the past five years, along with a 6% drop in the number of white students. <\/p>\n

The lack of affordable housing forced Jasmine White to leave Coney Island, the Brooklyn neighborhood where she was born and raised. <\/p>\n

\"AJasmine White with her daughter, Mackenzie White. (Courtesy of Jasmine White) <\/p>\n

On her salary providing physical assistance to adults with disabilities, White barely had savings after paying for her car insurance, cellphone, groceries, and her $340 weekly child care bill for her daughter \u2014 even while staying with her mom. <\/p>\n

\u201cAdd it up after a while, you\u2019re just left with lunch money,\u201d White said.<\/p>\n

She moved to Maryland the summer before the 2020-21 school year, during the COVID pandemic, after her daughter had been wait-listed at a kindergarten program White hoped she could attend instead of the local school. By the time her daughter got off the wait-list, they were already gone. And now White, who works as an office manager, says she has more than just lunch money. <\/p>\n

Coughlan, the Baruch professor, said there\u2019s been a lot more volatility since the pandemic in terms of families leaving New York City. <\/p>\n

\u201cThere\u2019s all kinds of questions around where people are choosing to live post-COVID,\u201d he said, noting that some families are now more inclined to leave, worried about a repeat pandemic.<\/p>\n

While schools often help root families to their neighborhoods, he\u2019s also seen a rise in \u201cdecoupling school from place\u201d \u2014 when children don\u2019t attend local schools \u2014 which can leave people \u201cfeeling untethered,\u201d and that could affect whether families decide to stay as well. <\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s untenable to pay for child care in the city and be a person who makes a normal income and so that needs to be addressed,\u201d Coughlan said. \u201cBut I also think we need to think of how people remain connected beyond that.\u201d<\/p>\n

Amy Zimmer is the bureau chief for Chalkbeat New York. Contact Amy atazimmer@chalkbeat.org<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Sign up for Chalkbeat New York\u2019s free daily newsletter to get essential news about NYC\u2019s public schools delivered…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":324571,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5122],"tags":[5229,21222,405,403,161908,5226,5225,5228,5227,67,586,132,5230,68,2969],"class_list":{"0":"post-324570","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-new-york","8":"tag-america","9":"tag-kindergarten","10":"tag-new-york","11":"tag-new-york-city","12":"tag-new-yorkers-for-child-care","13":"tag-newyork","14":"tag-newyorkcity","15":"tag-ny","16":"tag-nyc","17":"tag-united-states","18":"tag-united-states-of-america","19":"tag-unitedstates","20":"tag-unitedstatesofamerica","21":"tag-us","22":"tag-usa"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/115419407194197133","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324570","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=324570"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/324570\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/324571"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=324570"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=324570"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=324570"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}