{"id":356805,"date":"2025-11-05T06:23:24","date_gmt":"2025-11-05T06:23:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/356805\/"},"modified":"2025-11-05T06:23:24","modified_gmt":"2025-11-05T06:23:24","slug":"i-really-hit-it-off-with-my-interviewer-then-i-fell-victim-to-a-classic-job-hunting-problem","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/356805\/","title":{"rendered":"I really hit it off with my interviewer. Then I fell victim to a classic job hunting problem."},"content":{"rendered":"

Good Job<\/a> is Slate\u2019s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? Send it to Laura Helmuth and Doree Shafrir here<\/strong><\/a>. (It\u2019s anonymous!)<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Good Job,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I had what I thought was an excellent interview. Seemed to hit it off with the manager. She even gave me her direct phone number and said she would have an answer the following week. She seemed to like all my answers to her questions. We also bonded over the fact her mom has dementia and I told her my grandmother had Alzheimer\u2019s. I wound up receiving another job offer. So over a week went by I called and left her a message. I never heard back. I then called my HR contact and told her I received a job offer but their job opening was my first choice. The HR person assured me she would get me an answer and that she would let me know either way by the end of that day. I never heard from either of them! It\u2019s been over two weeks, and I took the other job. But I\u2019m feeling like I was ghosted. I\u2019m trying not to feel offended, but I just feel it was unprofessional to treat me that way. What\u2019s your opinion?
\u2014Ghosted<\/p>\n

Dear Ghosted,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Job searching in 2025 feels like it was designed by a sadist. You send applications off into the void, maybe get an acknowledgement that it was even received, and then if you\u2019re lucky and your resume somehow makes it past the AI screening because it stood out among the hundreds of others that the company received, you get called for an interview. But even that human interaction doesn\u2019t necessarily mean that you\u2019ll be treated like an actual human afterwards\u2014it seems that getting ghosted is sadly the rule these days, not the exception. It\u2019s as if recruiters are taking a cue from the worst serial daters, the ones who go on a great date and then just never follow up.<\/p>\n

Ghosting culture is rude, it\u2019s painful, and it\u2019s also bewildering, especially when you have what seemed like a good interview where you really hit it off with the person interviewing you! It can make you feel crazy, like you\u2019ve been totally gaslit and you can\u2019t trust your instincts about anything. How hard is it to just send an email that says, \u201cYou didn\u2019t get the job\u201d? (I\u2019m sure they could figure out a nicer way to say it, but that\u2019s the gist.)<\/p>\n

All this to say: I agree it was unprofessional of them to treat you this way, you have every right to feel offended, and now it\u2019s time to move on. Try to be grateful that you had another job offer come through at the same time and put the ghosters out of your mind, and focus on your new role. And congrats on it, by the way. Who knows\u2014maybe you dodged a bullet at the other company. They don\u2019t deserve you, anyway!<\/p>\n

\n Please keep questions short (<\/p>\n

Dear Good Job,<\/strong><\/p>\n

My best friend and I have decided we will be moving out of state in about a year and a half (the political climate in our current state is increasingly unsafe for her, but our immediate situation is safe enough that we feel comfortable staying out our lease). How do I handle this, job-wise? Obviously I don\u2019t need or want to give my boss a 16-month notice, but two weeks seems kind of cruel when I know this far in advance. And how soon do I start job searching in the new state? As soon as possible seems ideal theoretically, but no one is going to hire a candidate who can\u2019t start for another year, right?<\/p>\n

\u2014Interstate Indecision<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n Jamilah Lemieux
\n My Son Failed a Big Assignment on Purpose. His Reason Why Has Really Thrown Me.
\n Read More<\/b>\n <\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Dear Interstate Indecision,<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
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    My Daughter Wants to Get a Tattoo to Commemorate the Worst Day of My Life
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    We Moved In to Help My Brother With His Kids. But the Aftermath Is Proving to Be Much More Difficult.
    \n <\/a>\n <\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    I\u2019m impressed with your long-term planning abilities here! But it\u2019s way too early to start looking for a job in another state. There\u2019s often a little bit of a chicken-and-egg game that happens when you are hoping to move to a different state and get a job\u2014a lot of companies won\u2019t look at out of state applicants, but moving without a job is very stressful and might make it more difficult to rent an apartment or get established in your new home. I would start looking a couple of months before you\u2019re planning on moving, and either use a friend\u2019s address in your new state on your resume or be very clear that you are moving no matter what. Or maybe the perfect remote role will open up and you won\u2019t have to worry about finding a new job at all! I\u2019ll put that out into the universe for you.<\/p>\n

    In terms of when to tell your current boss, you\u2019re right that 16 months is way too far in advance. Things could change in 16 months! Your timeline could shift, for one thing, and you don\u2019t want to quit so far in advance that you find yourself with an unsustainable gap between jobs. Also, I hate to even mention this, but it\u2019s possible you could lose your job in the next 16 months. Personally I would give no more than one month, and that\u2019s only if you really feel obligated to give that much. I can hear in your letter that you don\u2019t want to let down your boss, and while that\u2019s admirable, trust me when I say that no company is as loyal to you as you may feel to them.<\/p>\n

    Good luck with this exciting move, and I hope that the job search goes smoothly!<\/p>\n

    \u2014Doree<\/p>\n

    More Work Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

    I just started a new job, and I\u2019m still trying to make a good impression. But my new boss just enthusiastically shared something that made my heart sink. The one thing I did\u00a0not\u00a0enjoy in my last job was after-hours team events. They weren\u2019t frequent, twice a year, but I hated them. Sometimes, there was a benefit for attending (like free dinner) other times there was actually a cost (like potluck?!) but honestly, either way, I\u00a0never\u00a0wanted to go. Well, this job is going to have even\u00a0more\u00a0after-hours team events! <\/a><\/p>\n

    Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Good Job is Slate\u2019s advice column on work. Have a workplace problem big or small? Send it to…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":356806,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[600,210,420,67,132,68,9916],"class_list":{"0":"post-356805","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-health","8":"tag-advice","9":"tag-health","10":"tag-jobs","11":"tag-united-states","12":"tag-unitedstates","13":"tag-us","14":"tag-workplace"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/115495659794397907","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/356805","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=356805"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/356805\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/356806"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=356805"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=356805"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=356805"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}