Making friends as an adult is hard. Especially if you\u2019re looking for friends who share your identity, interests and general proximity. So what are the odds that I found myself on a very rainy New York night (the restaurant was literally leaking), seated at a booth with two strangers around my age, also lesbians, who shared a love of musical theater, can\u2019t drive and all wanted salads with protein for dinner?<\/p>\n
Higher than you may expect, actually. That\u2019s thanks, in part, to a new service called Gayborhood<\/a>\u2014and its prolific social media advertising to LGBTQ+ people looking to expand their social circles.\u00a0<\/p>\n Gayborhood founder Cody Bumbarger initially created the site to build his own friendships. \u201cI was looking for ways to meet queer people, and the existing avenues didn\u2019t feel like a fit,\u201d he says. \u201cThe options that do exist\u2014notably nightlife or interest groups\u2014don\u2019t always feel conducive to genuine connection. Nightlife often carries an underlying current of pressure, and at big open events, you might meet 30 people, but not remember a single name when you go home.\u201d<\/p>\n Completely agree. Through its website, Gayborhood curates restaurant dinner reservations for four strangers, all with the goal of creating friendships (not necessarily romantic relationships) within New York\u2019s expansive LGBTQ+ community.<\/p>\n \u201cQueer third spaces are vanishing across the country.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n With LGBTQ+ people reporting loneliness at nearly twice the rate of straight adults,<\/a> building intentional community is essential. Add in the increasingly hostile attitudes of politicians and Americans to trans and queer people as well as the disappearance of third spaces (including most of the lesbian bars and queer cafes and bookstores in New York City), and encountering like-minded people becomes an increasingly daunting task.\u00a0<\/p>\n \u201cQueer third spaces are vanishing across the country. Sharing a meal is the simplest way to connect, as old as time itself,\u201d says Bumbarger. \u201cIt\u2019s a solution for the times we\u2019re living in. Technology once promised to connect us, but in practice, it\u2019s done the opposite, driving people into isolation through shallow connections\u2026 Gayborhood creates these spaces\u2014places where queerness is the baseline, not the exception. It\u2019s where people can finally let their guards down and stop self-monitoring, because being yourself is the expectation.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n Unlike many LGBTQ+ apps and websites, Gayborhood focuses strongly on friendship, not sex or dating. Instead of creating a public profile to swipe or tap on, interested diners answer a brief survey about who they are and what they like, and AI assists in finding patterns and avoiding potentially poor matches. A human team reviews the matches and then books dinner reservations every Thursday at 7pm for a \u201clight tech, heavy hospitality\u201d ethos.\u00a0<\/p>\n Dinners take place at LGBTQ+ owned or led restaurants in Chelsea<\/a>, Hell\u2019s Kitchen<\/a> and Williamsburg<\/a>. \u201cWe pick rooms that lower the social heart rate: warm sound, comfortable seating, kind service, prices that feel doable and a clear welcome for queer guests,\u201d Bumbarger says. \u201cWe also make sure the menu works for everyone at the table\u2014meaningful options for vegans and vegetarians, non\u2011drinkers (NA cocktails) and common dietary needs (gluten\u2011free), with clear labeling and staff who take it seriously.\u201d<\/p>\n The conversation flowed easily for over an hour.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n