{"id":4216,"date":"2025-06-22T03:34:08","date_gmt":"2025-06-22T03:34:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/4216\/"},"modified":"2025-06-22T03:34:08","modified_gmt":"2025-06-22T03:34:08","slug":"he-has-way-too-many-girlfriends-i-have-to-stop-his-philandering","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/4216\/","title":{"rendered":"He has way too many girlfriends. I have to stop his philandering."},"content":{"rendered":"

How to Do It is Slate\u2019s sex advice column.\u00a0Have a question?\u00a0<\/strong>Send it to Stoya and Rich here.<\/strong><\/a>\u00a0It\u2019s anonymous!<\/p>\n

Dear How to Do It,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I live with my roommate who is a hopeless philanderer.\u00a0He brings home a different girl nearly every night, and it\u2019s clear that none of them know about the others.\u00a0I found this out when I accidentally called one of them by the name of one of his other girlfriends and she became extremely angry until I managed to cover for it by claiming it was a slip because she looked a lot like my sister (I don\u2019t have one).\u00a0Now I\u2019m thinking of doing something devious.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sick of all this. Is it my place to say anything to any of them, or is this none of my business no matter how distasteful I find it?<\/p>\n

\u2014One for Every Hour of the Day<\/p>\n

Dear One for Every Hour of the Day,<\/strong><\/p>\n

It is pretty much none of your business. If there were an issue with your safety or even your dislike of the foot traffic in the house, that would be one thing. (Having that many strangers in my house would immediately make me worried about bed bugs, but then I\u2019m paranoid, live in a big city, and am still scarred from an experience from over a decade ago.) But even if you had an issue with the amount of bodies passing through your living space, the ethical thing to do would be to approach your roommate, not the women.<\/p>\n

    \n
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    The fact is, you don\u2019t know the deal here. You don\u2019t know what these women know and what they don\u2019t want to know. If Adam is at the point with most or all of them where they are \u201ccasually\u201d dating, and no declaration of exclusivity has been made, what he\u2019s doing is technically allowed. Sure, many might balk at his excess. Many might agree to casual and unspoken non-monogamy in theory but then when understanding what it actually entails, recoil, but you don\u2019t know where these strangers stand and meddling could stir up unnecessary drama. You don\u2019t know if there is stated ethical non-monogamy afoot, or what scenes (like poly) these people may or may not be involved in.<\/p>\n

    If there is any other tension with Adam, and I assume there is since you are thinking of tattling on him to strangers, he might interpret you going around him to inform his partners of his promiscuity as some kind of revenge. Were you to let his partners know that he\u2019s sleeping around, you\u2019d still have to live with him, which could make things awkward if not combative. The thing to do here is to talk to him about your issues with him. You have much more of a shot of influencing his behavior if you talk to him directly. Of course, you should come with a better justification than just, \u201cThis is distasteful,\u201d as few will take kindly to that kind of judgment. If you think he\u2019s being unethical or toxic, explain why and how it impacts your quality of life. If you can\u2019t find good reasons, you may come off as petty. Your letter didn\u2019t convince me that you aren\u2019t.<\/p>\n

    \u2014Rich<\/p>\n

    More Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

    I\u2019m a 40-year-old gay man. I\u2019m a bottom and I love it. I\u2019ve never had a problem ejaculating and orgasming. Lately, however, there\u2019s been a change. I\u2019ve recently noticed that when I\u2019m being orally stimulated, I ejaculate normally, but when I\u2019m being penetrated, I still have an intense and pleasurable orgasm, but I hardly ejaculate at all. It doesn\u2019t bother me, but it seems to make my sexy and much younger fianc\u00e9 upset because there\u2019s no visible evidence of my pleasure. I\u2019ve just chalked it up to aging and the hormonal changes that go with it. Is this something we should be concerned about?<\/a><\/p>\n

    The latest sex, parenting, and money advice from our columnists delivered to your inbox three times a week.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"How to Do It is Slate\u2019s sex advice column.\u00a0Have a question?\u00a0Send it to Stoya and Rich here.\u00a0It\u2019s anonymous!…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4217,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[600,5598,5597,158,67,132,68],"class_list":{"0":"post-4216","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-technology","8":"tag-advice","9":"tag-sex","10":"tag-slate-plus","11":"tag-technology","12":"tag-united-states","13":"tag-unitedstates","14":"tag-us"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/114724920660328907","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4216","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4216"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4216\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4217"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4216"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4216"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4216"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}