{"id":467035,"date":"2025-12-23T17:22:12","date_gmt":"2025-12-23T17:22:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/467035\/"},"modified":"2025-12-23T17:22:12","modified_gmt":"2025-12-23T17:22:12","slug":"when-and-how-to-talk-to-your-kids-about-estate-planning-wealth-wills","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/467035\/","title":{"rendered":"When and how to talk to your kids about estate planning, wealth, wills"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"play\"<\/p>\n

The kids are gone, time for a new financial plan<\/p>\n

Once you become an empty nester, you’ll want to reevaluate your money.<\/p>\n

USA TODAY<\/p>\n

“The Talk,” in parenting circles, is generally\u00a0defined as\u00a0an uncomfortable conversation with your children about sex.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

But there is another talk. It happens later, and it\u2019s\u00a0just as hard.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Aging parents fret and procrastinate\u00a0over\u00a0sitting down with their adult children to talk about money \u2013 and power of attorney, and medical directives, and all the other\u00a0issues that arise\u00a0toward\u00a0the end of life.\u00a0<\/p>\n

AARP offers\u00a0a book<\/a>\u00a0titled \u201cThe Other Talk:\u00a0A Guide to Talking With Your Adult Children About the Rest of Your Life.\u201d The\u00a0topic\u00a0popped\u00a0up again in the December-January issue of AARP The Magazine,\u00a0wherein\u00a0a Gen X couple\u00a0explains<\/a>\u00a0\u201cWhy We Told Our Kids All About Our Money.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve adapted our own\u00a0discussion about ”the talk,” with commentary from experts at\u00a0AARP<\/a>,\u00a0Trust & Will<\/a>\u00a0and\u00a0Northwestern Mutual<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Why to have ‘the talk’\u00a0<\/p>\n

There are plenty of good reasons to\u00a0tell\u00a0your adult children about your finances, estate plan and end-of-life wishes, experts say.\u00a0<\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t have the\u00a0talk, your children may waste precious time chasing down your accounts and assets when you are incapacitated or dead. They may have no idea what bills you owe, what cash you\u2019ve stowed, or what plans you might have for that investment property or stash of jewelry.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cYou\u2019re saving months, and thousands of dollars, by doing a little talking,\u201d said\u00a0Craig Parker<\/a>, assistant general counsel at Trust & Will.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

For the kids: <\/strong>How do you have “the Talk” with your parents?<\/a><\/p>\n

Many aging parents lose their ability to sign checks, make online payments and dispute bills long before they die. If you don\u2019t walk your children through your finances\u00a0now, you risk leaving them unable to\u00a0help\u00a0you later.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cAs a parent, one of the nicest things that you can do for your children is to reduce the number of puzzles and surprises that they have to deal with either when you\u2019re in the hospital or after\u00a0you\u2019re gone,\u201d said\u00a0George Mannes, executive editor at AARP The Magazine.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Talking through your affairs with your adult children \u201creduces anxiety and worry for the next generation,\u201d said\u00a0David Hamilton<\/a>,\u00a0a\u00a0financial adviser at Hamilton Wealth-Northwestern Mutual.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Not having the talk can seed conflict. When\u00a0you\u2019re incapacitated, your children may bicker over where you wanted to live, or how far you wanted to go in prolonging your life.\u00a0<\/p>\n

In the probate and estate planning worlds, Parker said, \u201cmost of the litigation is from families that don\u2019t talk.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

When to have the Talk\u00a0<\/p>\n

Many Americans want to talk to their children about estate planning, research suggests, but fewer follow through.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

A\u00a02024\u00a0survey<\/a>\u00a0of high-wealth boomers by RBC Wealth Management found that 89% thought it was important to talk\u00a0to heirs\u00a0about inheritance, but only 39% had actually\u00a0done it.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

The best time to have the Talk, experts say, is as soon as they\u2019re ready.\u00a0And adult children are probably ready.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cOnce they are adults, sooner is better than later,\u201d Mannes said.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

If not all your children are adults, you can provide \u201cbroad outlines\u201d\u00a0of your plans\u00a0to a younger child, Mannes said.\u00a0<\/p>\n

And don\u2019t assume a single conversation will cover everything. Hamilton recommends \u201chaving these conversations continually, rather than a one-and-done.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n

How to have the Talk\u00a0<\/p>\n

The best approach for broaching money, incapacity and death with your children is to tell it straight, but with sensitivity, experts say.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Your adult children need this information. But they probably don\u2019t want to hear about your decline and demise any more than you want to\u00a0talk\u00a0about it.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cMake sure that you are handling it with empathy, because it can be an uncomfortable conversation,\u201d Hamilton said.\u00a0<\/p>\n

A little reassurance might help. Consider opening with, \u201cHey guys, we\u2019re not planning to go anywhere for a very long time, but we do want you to be ready for when that day comes,\u201d Hamilton said.\u00a0<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t have to go into every clinical detail in your end-of-life plan. Your adult children may not be ready to hear whether you\u2019d like to be kept alive with a breathing machine or feeding tube. But you can tell them where to find those directives when the time comes.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cMy gut feeling would be, tell your children as much as you think they can handle,\u201d Mannes said.\u00a0<\/p>\n

What to cover in the Talk\u00a0<\/p>\n

The talk is not just about what you have. It\u2019s also about why you have it.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s really not a discussion about death as much as it is really a discussion about your values, and making clear what your values are,\u201d Parker said.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

As you lay out your assets and accounts, explain why you have them.\u00a0Tell\u00a0your children\u00a0why you hung onto that investment property, and\u00a0whether\u00a0your retirement savings is more or less than you\u2019d hoped.\u00a0<\/p>\n

You should also plan to cover some specifics:\u00a0<\/p>\n

Estate plan\u00a0<\/p>\n

Your estate plan dictates what happens\u00a0to your assets when you die, and who manages\u00a0your affairs in an emergency while you are alive.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

As part of that plan, it\u2019s\u00a0helpful to create a file, on paper or in a computer, that helps loved ones\u00a0find and access\u00a0your accounts,\u00a0including\u00a0account numbers, passwords and pins.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Will or trust\u00a0<\/p>\n

These documents instruct how to distribute your assets when you die. A trust bypasses probate court, which administers wills.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Power of attorney\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Power of attorney\u00a0lets someone else\u00a0make decisions and access records on\u00a0your\u00a0behalf, especially regarding health care and finance.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

Advance directives\u202f\u00a0<\/p>\n

These instructions lay\u00a0out what health care you do or don\u2019t want when you are incapacitated. A living will or health care power of attorney form typically includes\u00a0advance directives<\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n

It\u2019s just as\u00a0important, experts say,\u00a0to\u00a0tell\u00a0your adult children whom\u00a0you\u00a0have named\u00a0as\u00a0legal agent,\u00a0trustee of your trust\u00a0or\u00a0executor of your will.\u00a0Also tell them\u00a0why.\u00a0<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The kids are gone, time for a new financial plan Once you become an empty nester, you’ll want…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":467036,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[29483,64,614,246,250,664,644,663,110045,451,22183,51548,450,457,255,615,700,6358,6360,645,646,67,132,68],"class_list":{"0":"post-467035","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-personal-finance","8":"tag-aarp","9":"tag-business","10":"tag-estate","11":"tag-family","12":"tag-inheritance","13":"tag-inheritance-u0026-estate-planning","14":"tag-modular","15":"tag-modular-story","16":"tag-mutual","17":"tag-negative","18":"tag-northwestern","19":"tag-northwestern-mutual","20":"tag-overall","21":"tag-overall-negative","22":"tag-personal-finance","23":"tag-planning","24":"tag-retirement","25":"tag-seniors","26":"tag-seniors-u0026-retirement","27":"tag-story","28":"tag-u0026","29":"tag-united-states","30":"tag-unitedstates","31":"tag-us"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/115770042310363457","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/467035","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=467035"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/467035\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/467036"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=467035"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=467035"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=467035"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}