{"id":498633,"date":"2026-01-07T09:51:44","date_gmt":"2026-01-07T09:51:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/498633\/"},"modified":"2026-01-07T09:51:44","modified_gmt":"2026-01-07T09:51:44","slug":"how-to-talk-about-screens-and-mental-health-in-a-way-kids-hear","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/498633\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Talk About Screens and Mental Health in a Way Kids Hear"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Estimated6 min read<\/p>\n

In 2024, Jonathan Haidt published his bestseller The Anxious Generation<\/a> and spoke with Oprah for \u201cThe Life You Want: Teen Mental Health\u201d<\/a> about the mounting global teen mental health crisis and the \u201cgreat rewriting\u201d of childhood from play-based to phone-based, fueled by smartphones and social media. Since then, his message about how technology affects kids\u2019 well-being\u2014which Oprah has called \u201cone of the most pressing issues of our time\u201d\u2014has reached millions. In his two appearances<\/a> on The Oprah Podcast<\/a>, he spoke to parents who had managed to raise (well-adjusted, highly social) children without smartphones and to those dealing with the cognitive and emotional consequences of their teens\u2019 dependence on highly addictive technology. Haidt has remained steadfast in his advice that parents should not let their kids get a smartphone until at least age 14 and should keep them off social media until at least 16, ideas that are now codified in law in Australia with its recent age restrictions on sites like TikTok, X, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, Snapchat, and Threads.<\/p>\n

Even with his research gaining real traction, Haidt\u2019s conversations keep circling back to one familiar impasse: Parents want to delay smartphone use, kids insist that \u201ceveryone else has one\u201d\u2014and, often, peer pressure wins out. Rather than \u201craining down\u201d on children from above, Haidt realized he needed to meet young people on their level and tell them a story that would empower them to choose a real childhood over a virtual one, on their own terms. <\/p>\n

\n

You only get one childhood, and for most kids, Meta owns it.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<\/blockquote>\n

He teamed up with Catherine Price, the author of How to Break Up with Your Phone<\/a>\u2014who had joined Oprah for a separate \u201cThe Life You Want\u201d class on cultivating more joy<\/a>\u2014to write The Amazing Generation<\/a>, an illustrated call to action aimed at 9- to 12-year-olds but accessible to pretty much anyone who wants to cut down on their screen time. Though neither had previously written a children\u2019s book, both had lived experience as parents and research expertise on effective persuasion strategies that made them uniquely well-suited for the job. To celebrate the publication of The Amazing Generation, our editor at large, Gayle King, is hosting a special event<\/a> with both authors, as well as special guests, including comedian Amy Schumer. Ahead of that conversation, Haidt and Price shared some research-backed, parent-approved strategies they picked up while writing the book that can help any parent navigate \u201cthe phone conversation\u201d with clear boundaries, fewer power struggles, and a plan you can actually stick to.<\/p>\n

Intervene Early<\/strong><\/p>\n

While so-called \u201cscreenagers\u201d are often the poster children for tech debates, Price and Haidt were intentional in their decision to write The Amazing Generation for kids who hadn\u2019t yet hit adolescence. \u201cThe most fateful decision is when the kid gets a phone,\u201d Haidt explains. By age 11 or 12, the majority of kids already have a smartphone, and \u201cfor a large percentage, it\u2019s going to move to the center of their lives and stay there forever.\u201d Practically, it\u2019s much easier to prevent the phone from becoming a child\u2019s gravitational center than to wrestle it away once it\u2019s already embedded in their routine. Scientifically, most of the cognitive damage from smartphone and social media use occurs during early childhood and puberty, so delaying access helps future-proof the brain<\/a> by protecting the critical development of attention, emotional regulation, and social processing.<\/p>\n

The authors conducted focus groups and determined that kids ages 9 to 12 would be most receptive to the book\u2019s message, a finding that Price saw in action when she presented the ideas to fourth and fifth graders at her daughters\u2019 school. She didn\u2019t get a single eye roll, and the students went over the allotted time asking questions, sharing their own stories, and talking about which flip phones they wanted to get in place of an iPhone. \u201cIf kids hate one thing, it\u2019s being taken advantage of\u2014they get very indignant,\u201d Price explains, noting how enraged the students became when she explained how tech companies profit off shrinking their years of play and exploration to the dimensions of a touchscreen.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou only get one childhood, and for most kids, Meta owns it,\u201d Haidt adds.<\/p>\n

Nail the Tone<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u201cThe way to get kids buy-in is not to lecture at them,\u201d Price says. \u201cAny parent who\u2019s had a fight with their kid about screen time knows that that is not the winning approach.\u201d Before becoming a science journalist, Price had taught and tutored kids in middle school through high school and says she still has \u201cthe sense of humor of a middle school boy.\u201d Bringing humor and connection into this serious discussion isn\u2019t just a garnish; it\u2019s a persuasive strategy. Through teaching and through the research she did for The Power of Fun<\/a>, her 2021 book on replacing the artificial \u201crewards\u201d of technology with real-world happiness, she understands that laughter and fun are critical to learning.<\/p>\n

While there is no shortage of alarming research on the impact of tech on developing brains, Haidt knows from his research on morality that \u201cyou don\u2019t persuade people by giving them reasons and evidence; you persuade them by speaking to the heart and giving them an intuitive sense of what you\u2019re saying and then backing it up with evidence.\u201d In practice, that can mean starting with a gut-level hook\u2014\u201cI\u2019ve had nights where I\u2019m tired and still can\u2019t stop scrolling; have you?\u201d\u2014before presenting your evidence. If you don\u2019t have that connection in the first place, \u201call the evidence in the world isn\u2019t going to change their minds.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Amazing Generation is designed to foster connection between parents and children with prompts like the one encouraging kids to ask the adults in their lives over a certain age to imitate the sound of a dial-up modem\u2014and brace themselves. Price has already heard accounts from friends about the hilarity that ensues. \u201cI think the playful attitude that we have in the book really equalizes the playing field between adults and kids and encourages these conversations as equals, rather than this top-down lecturing, confrontational approach,\u201d she says. Even when talking about serious topics\u2014or especially when talking about serious topics\u2014\u201cthe more you can laugh together and the more you have fun together, the more open people are to hearing the message.\u201d <\/p>\n

Be the Guinea Pig<\/strong><\/p>\n

In The Anxious Generation, Haidt \u201cdeliberately chose\u201d not to ask parents to interrogate their own tech habits, in part \u201cto keep the focus on kids and to not criticize parents and parenting,\u201d but also because, as a social psychologist, he understands that middle schoolers are much more influenced by their peers\u2019 behavior than by adults\u2019. \u201cOf course, they\u2019re going to say, But Mom, you\u2019re always on your phone,\u201d he acknowledges, but that\u2019s because they\u2019re \u201creally good lawyers\u201d attuned to the ways that their parents\u2019 hypocrisy might undermine the boundaries they\u2019re trying to set, not because they plan to mimic Mom\u2019s phone-free lifestyle if only she adopts it first.<\/p>\n

Still, there is a power in parents being open about their own struggles with technology and in asking for advice from their own children. Price suggests that a great way to initiate a conversation around screen time that doesn\u2019t feel adversarial is to say, \u201cI\u2019m actually interested in changing some of my own habits too\u2014is there anything you want to try together?\u201d Approached this way, discussions about devices and boundaries shift from parents imposing something to families building something together, giving kids a sense of agency while easing parents out of the role of constant enforcer. \u201cI actually think it really can be a good way to help your kids in kind of an indirect way,\u201d Price adds, \u201cbecause they like feeling like they\u2019ve got some kind of input on their parents\u2019 behaviors.\u201d<\/p>\n

This isn\u2019t a strategic bluff to get kids on board. It\u2019s an honest admission that the device struggle isn\u2019t just a teen problem<\/a>. Price has heard from kids for years about how ignored and hurt they feel when their parents are on their phones while they\u2019re together. \u201cFor all of us, it\u2019s gotten out of control,\u201d she says, \u201cand our kids could help us.\u201d<\/p>\n

While dialing back screen time can strengthen your relationship with your kids and make healthier tech norms feel possible, it\u2019s not just good parenting. Haidt and Price are focused on children because screens are threatening to rob them of things they can\u2019t get back: childhood itself and developmental foundations that shape mental health for years to come. But the losses don\u2019t end with childhood, and kids aren\u2019t the only ones who deserve to be indignant about the real-world experiences we are missing out on in our increasingly digitized existence. As Price points out, \u201cWe adults deserve to have good lives too.\u201d<\/p>\n

The Amazing Generation: Your Guide to Fun and Freedom in a Screen-Filled World, by Jonathan Haidt and Catherine Price<\/p>\n

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Charley Burlock is the Books Editor at Oprah Daily where she writes, edits, and assigns stories on all things literary. She holds an MFA in creative nonfiction from NYU, where she also taught undergraduate creative writing. Her work has been featured in the <\/a>Atlanti<\/a>c<\/a>,<\/a> the Los Angeles Review of Books<\/a>, Hyperallergic, the Apple News Today podcast, and elsewhere<\/a>. You can read her writing at charleyburlock.com.\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"6 min read In 2024, Jonathan Haidt published his bestseller The Anxious Generation and spoke with Oprah for…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":498634,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[36],"tags":[2392,223976,1201,3181,210,2875,517,223975,67,132,68],"class_list":{"0":"post-498633","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-mental-health","8":"tag-content-type-feature","9":"tag-contentid-2491a979-9d90-4740-adc1-a0df7ecfd2fa","10":"tag-displaytype-standard-article","11":"tag-hasproduct-true","12":"tag-health","13":"tag-locale-us","14":"tag-mental-health","15":"tag-shorttitle-jonathan-haidt-on-screens-and-kids-mental-health","16":"tag-united-states","17":"tag-unitedstates","18":"tag-us"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/115853203705573466","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/498633","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=498633"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/498633\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/498634"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=498633"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=498633"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=498633"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}