\u201cGently reminding my mom to not kiss my newborn,\u201d she wrote in the text overlay of the video. In the caption of the post she wrote with a laughing-face emoji: \u201cThe word of the day is \u2018boundaries.\u2019\u201d <\/p>\n
Christiansen explained to People that the video was made in good fun, and that her mom had actually advised her not to let anyone kiss her newborn. Christiansen told the publication that she was hospitalized twice as a baby due to family members kissing her without realizing they were sick. <\/p>\n
\u201cMy husband and I made the decision to not have extended family or friends kiss our newborn for the first few months after birth because he was born in the middle of \u2018sick season\u2019 and newborns don\u2019t have an immune system,\u201d she said. \u201cA common cold for adults could land a newborn in the hospital and be a life-threatening situation.\u201d<\/p>\n
Christiansen told People that she was \u201cshocked\u201d her video spurred such a debate online. Her TikTok post garnered over 730,000 \u201clikes\u201d with nearly 4,000 comments. While many commenters agreed with Christiansen\u2019s boundaries on whom she allows to kiss her newborn, others criticized her for preventing her mom from kissing her son. <\/p>\n
\u201cSad, poor grandma,\u201d one commenter wrote. <\/p>\n
\u201cI will never deny my child genuine love,\u201d another commenter wrote.<\/p>\n
\u201cI would never do that to my mom,\u201d wrote another. <\/p>\n
While parents are entitled to make their own decisions about the boundaries they set with relatives visiting their newborns, we spoke to pediatricians and pediatric infectious disease specialists who warned about the potential health risks associated with people kissing babies \u2014 especially on the face. <\/p>\n
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Westend61 via Getty Images<\/p>\n
Pediatricians and pediatric infectious disease specialists warned about the potential health risks associated with people kissing newborns.<\/p>\n
You can spread a virus to a newborn before realizing you\u2019re sick. <\/strong><\/p>\n For starters, it\u2019s important to remember that the goal when visiting newborns is to \u201cminimize risk of infection as much as possible,\u201d emphasized Dr. Taylor Heald-Sargent<\/a>, assistant professor of pediatric infectious diseases at Northwestern University Feinberg School of Medicine and a physician at Ann & Robert H. Lurie Children\u2019s Hospital of Chicago. <\/p>\n \u201cWe have to keep in mind that newborn babies\u2019 immune systems are very immature,\u201d she told HuffPost. \u201cThey are not functioning like an older child, even a few months older, or an adult. So what might be a mild infection for an older child or an adult can land the baby in the intensive care unit.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI\u2019m thinking about infections like RSV [respiratory syncytial virus] and pertussis (whooping cough). Those are ones that we really, really need to do our best to protect our youngest members of society,\u201d she said. <\/p>\n RSV is a respiratory infection<\/a> caused by a virus. The Cleveland Clinic notes that while it can cause mild symptoms, it can also lead to severe breathing difficulties \u2014 especially in babies and older adults. Whooping cough<\/a> is a \u201chighly contagious upper respiratory infection\u201d in which infants may \u201cstruggle to breathe even if they never develop a cough,\u201d the Cleveland Clinic states. <\/p>\n Heald-Sargent also pointed to several other viruses to be aware of when trying to prevent a newborn from getting sick. While some viruses, like summer viruses<\/a> and the flu, tend to show seasonal patterns (not to mention we\u2019re currently in the middle of a severe and record-breaking flu season<\/a>), other viruses<\/a>, such as herpes viruses, are a concern year-round. <\/p>\n The Mayo Clinic notes<\/a> that cold sores are usually caused by herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1). They\u2019re spread through close contact between people, such as kissing. <\/p>\n Heald-Sargent explained that people with functional immune systems don\u2019t always know when they\u2019re getting sick.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd we know that the time when you might be spreading these viruses is right before you might have symptoms,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n \u201cSo you can be doing everything you can, you can say, \u2018I\u2019m absolutely, perfectly well,\u2019 but have no idea that tomorrow you\u2019re going to start coming down with the flu,\u201d she continued. <\/p>\n Dr. Amy Edwards<\/a>, associate professor and pediatric infectious disease specialist at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine and physician at University Hospitals in Cleveland, Ohio, emphasized how dangerous certain viruses can be for newborns.<\/p>\n Babies who contract summer viruses or enterovirus, for example, are \u201cat high risk for developing severe meningitis, which can lead to severe brain damage or even death,\u201d she told HuffPost.<\/p>\n And as it relates to cold sores, Edwards said that while they may be \u201cinconvenient and sometimes unsightly\u201d for adults, for newborns, the virus can cause \u201csepsis and\/or meningitis which is fatal about 20% of the time.\u201d<\/p>\n There are several good practices to keep in mind when visiting a newborn. <\/strong><\/p>\n Edwards said it\u2019s best for anyone visiting a newborn to wash their hands \u201cbefore even offering to hold the baby.\u201d<\/p>\n And you should \u201cask before kissing or nuzzling on the face and wash your hands if preparing a bottle for the baby,\u201d she told HuffPost. <\/p>\n \u201cIf you don\u2019t feel well (even if you are sure it\u2019s allergies), then stay away,\u201d she said. \u201cI know that sounds terrible. Babies are so cute and waiting can be like torture and, sure, plenty of babies have caught colds and managed to do just fine, but why would you ever want to risk it?\u201d<\/p>\n Dr. Krupa Playforth<\/a> \u2014 a board-certified pediatrician and mother who is the founder of The Pediatrician Mom<\/a>, a website that aims to provide \u201cevidence-based, nuanced and practical answers for parents\u201d \u2014 recommends that you wash your hands for at least 20 seconds before touching the baby. <\/p>\n She also shared the following tips to keep in mind when visiting a newborn:<\/p>\n Playforth explained that babies are at the highest risk of facing severe outcomes from infections in the first two to three months of their lives. <\/p>\n \u201cThen the risk decreases gradually as baby develops a more robust immune system,\u201d she said. \u201cDuring respiratory season, especially this year, I think it makes a lot of sense to minimize close contact and kissing even beyond the first two to three months, or to limit it to trusted caregivers who are healthy and up to date on their immunizations.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cBabies do not need to be kissed to know they are loved,\u201d she added. <\/p>\n Heald-Sargent added that it\u2019s important to note that when you kiss a newborn on their face, you are getting closer to where the virus would enter the body, therefore increasing the risk of transmission.<\/p>\n There are ways parents of newborns can navigate potentially uncomfortable conversations about their boundaries.<\/strong><\/p>\n Playforth, Heald-Sargent and Edwards all agree that it\u2019s best to communicate your boundaries and expectations before your relatives or friends visit your newborn \u2014 and to frame conversations in a way that emphasizes that you and your loved ones share one common goal: to keep baby safe. <\/p>\n Heald-Sargent said that, as a parent herself, when her baby was born during flu season, she sent a letter to close family and friends explaining all of her preferences.<\/p>\n \u201cEveryone rolled their eyes because they know me,\u201d she said with a laugh. \u201cBut that was my way of not having the same conversation 10 times.\u201d <\/p>\n Overall, Heald-Sargent said her advice to parents is to approach conversations about their boundaries with their close family and friends from a place that reminds them they all share a love for the baby and \u201ca desire to keep the baby safe and healthy.\u201d<\/p>\n And as it relates to the criticism Christiansen received on TikTok that she was preventing her mom the opportunity to bond with her son, Heald-Sargent would emphasize to all families that \u201cthere\u2019s lots of ways that you can bond.\u201d <\/p>\n \u201cYou can also remind people back to the pandemic days when we all were very isolated and there were still lots of bonding moments that went on \u2014 even during social distancing,\u201d she said. \u201cI remember babies picking up on facial cues around the mask; it was incredible.\u201d <\/p>\n Playforth said it could be helpful to emphasize that your boundaries surrounding loved ones kissing your baby might be temporary and that it\u2019s medical-related. You can even blame your pediatrician. <\/p>\n \u201cIf you are struggling, blame your pediatrician. I promise we don\u2019t mind!\u201d she said. \u201cRemember that your job is to protect your baby, not to manage other adults\u2019 feelings.\u201d<\/p>\n Playforth said that even though Christiansen\u2019s video was lighthearted, it \u201ctouches on a very real and important issue\u201d and that \u201csetting boundaries around a newborn\u2019s health is not disrespectful.\u201d <\/p>\n \u201cIt is responsible parenting, and I actually appreciate that the video helps make these conversations (and conflicts) more visible,\u201d she said. \u201cSo many parents struggle with this quietly.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThe pushback the creator received highlights how deeply ingrained society\u2019s expectation is about who should have access to a baby, and the extent to which a new parent should bow down to expectations,\u201d she continued, before adding:<\/p>\n \u201cParental boundaries are about safety.\u201d<\/p>\n\n
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It’s best for parents and caregivers to communicate their boundaries and expectations before relatives or friends visit a newborn.<\/p>\n