{"id":529770,"date":"2026-01-20T12:11:17","date_gmt":"2026-01-20T12:11:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/529770\/"},"modified":"2026-01-20T12:11:17","modified_gmt":"2026-01-20T12:11:17","slug":"fed-up-with-perimenopause-or-menopause-the-we-do-not-care-club-is-here-for-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/529770\/","title":{"rendered":"Fed up with perimenopause or menopause? The We Do Not Care Club is here for you"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Melani Sanders is over it.<\/p>\n

She\u2019s over meticulously applying makeup before leaving the house or, even, having to wear a bra when running errands. She\u2019s over wasting time plucking chin hairs, searching for brain fog-induced lost reading glasses and \u2014 most of all \u2014 withholding her opinions so as not to offend others.<\/p>\n

As a 45-year-old perimenopausal <\/a>woman, Sanders is no longer searching for outside validation and is over people-pleasing.<\/p>\n

The dedication page in her new book sums it up best: \u201cTo the a\u2014 who told me I had a \u201ccomputer box booty.\u201d<\/p>\n

Who is this dude, and is Sanders worried about offending him?<\/p>\n

She doesn\u2019t care.<\/p>\n

\"Author, <\/p>\n

Author, Melani Sanders, in an outfit she typically wears in her social media videos. <\/p>\n

(Surej Kalathil Sunman Media)<\/p>\n

That\u2019s Sanders\u2019 mantra in life right now. Last year, the West Palm Beach, Fla.-based mother of three founded the We Do Not Care Club, <\/a>an online \u201csisterhood\u201d into the millions of perimenopausal<\/a>, menopausal <\/a>and post-menopausal women \u201cwho are putting the world on notice that we simply do not care much anymore.\u201d Sanders\u2019 social media videos<\/a> feature her looking disheveled \u2014 in a bathrobe and reading glasses, for example, with additional pairs of reading glasses hanging from her lapels \u2014 while rattling off members\u2019 comments about what they do not care about anymore.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe do not care if we still wear skinny jeans \u2014 they stretch and they\u2019re comfortable,\u201d she reads, deadpan. \u201cWe do not care if the towels don\u2019t match in our house \u2014 you got a rag and you got a towel, use it accordingly.\u201d<\/p>\n

Sanders\u2019 online community of fed up women<\/a> grew rapidly. She announced the club in May 2025, and it has more than 3 million members internationally; celebrity supporters include Ashley Judd<\/a>, Sharon Stone<\/a> and Halle Berry.<\/a> It\u2019s a welcoming, if unexpected, space where women \u201ccan finally exhale,\u201d as Sanders puts it. The rallying cry? \u201cWe do not give a f\u2014ing s\u2014 what anyone thinks of us anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n

That\u2019s also the message of Sanders\u2019 new book, \u201cThe Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook: A Hot-Mess Guide for Women in Perimenopause, Menopause, and Beyond Who Are Over It.\u201d<\/a> The book is part self-help book, with facts about the perimenopause and menopause transition; part memoir; part practical workbook with tools and resources; and part humor book, brimming with Sanders\u2019 raw and authentic comedic style. (It includes a membership card for new club inductees and cutout-able patches with slogans like \u201clubricated and horny\u201d or \u201cspeaking your truth.\u201d)<\/p>\n

We caught up with Sanders while she was in New York to promote her book and admittedly \u201coverstimulated from all the horns,\u201d she said. But she just. Did. Not. Care. <\/p>\n

This interview has been edited for length and clarity. <\/p>\n

The <\/b>We Do Not Care Club <\/b><\/a>came about after you had a meltdown in a supermarket parking lot. Tell us about that. <\/b><\/p>\n

I was in the parking lot of Whole Foods. I needed Ashwagandha<\/a> \u2014 that was my holy grail at the time for my perimenopause journey, and I was out of it. I got back in my car and looked at myself in the rear view mirror. I had on a sports bra that was shifted to one side. My hair was extremely unstructured. I had a hat on and socks mismatched \u2014 I was a real hot mess. Nothing added up. But in that moment, I realized that I just didn\u2019t care much anymore. I just said, \u201cMelanie, you have to take the pressure off, girlfriend. It\u2019s time to stop caring so much.\u201d I decided to press the record button and see if anyone wanted to join me in starting a club called the We Do Not Care Club. I released the video and drove home, which took about 20 minutes, and by the time I got home it had [gone viral].<\/p>\n

You got hundreds of thousands of new followers, internationally, within 24 hours. Why do you think the post resonated so greatly at that moment?<\/b> <\/p>\n

I had to dissect that because it was kind of unreal. Like, what is it about country, old Melanie that hit record and asked about a little club that she thought maybe 20 or 30 women would want to join? Over the summer, I studied this and did more videos and I listened. It was the relatability. It was the understanding. It was just letting my guard down and just saying it out loud. Speaking my truth. Also, for many women, we have this silent pressure to get it all done. But we\u2019re at capacity. In the book, I talk about how, once I was in perimenopause, I didn\u2019t want to have sex with my husband. I didn\u2019t want to see my kids \u2014 like, everyone just close the door! And that\u2019s kind of shameful, you know? It\u2019s not like I don\u2019t love my family. I really do. But I can\u2019t do it all anymore. And I just think that resonated with a lot of sisters throughout the world. It was like: Now is the time for us to just explode and I think we all did it at once. <\/p>\n

\""The <\/p>\n

\u201cThe Official We Do Not Care Club Handbook.\u201d<\/p>\n

(William Morrow)<\/p>\n

You entered perimenopause (or \u201cMiss Peri,\u201d as you call it) at age 44, after a partial hysterectomy. How did your life change after that?<\/b> <\/p>\n

I did not expect it. I knew that I had fibroids and I was uncomfortable because of that. So when I had the hysterectomy, I was expecting to now be a whole person again afterwards. But I just went into this dark place. It was like you\u2019re fighting against yourself to just be normal again. And your body is changing in so many ways. For me, that was the hot flashes, the insomnia, the depression, the rage. My joints were really, really stiff all of a sudden. It\u2019s like, \u2018wait a minute, how and why?!!\u2019 And [I got] frozen shoulder. Frozen shoulder was how I discovered I was in perimenopause because I was not told by my doctor who performed my hysterectomy that this could happen. And I didn\u2019t know where to turn or where to go because I was just being told everything was normal. I was so frustrated with the process, the lack of education, the lack of resources. The lack of compassion, I would even say.<\/p>\n

Your book and social media videos are so funny. Do you have a comedy background? <\/b><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t, and I get asked that often. I just say what\u2019s on my mind and sometimes, I guess, it comes out funny<\/a> \u2014 but I\u2019m not trying. The [wearing multiple pairs of] glasses: I do that because, with perimenopause, my eyesight went bad really quickly. I was out in public one day and I could not read. I was just traumatized. So every time I would see glasses, I would just put them on me because I don\u2019t want to get stuck without them. That neck pillow, when I got frozen shoulder, I was using it a lot. Then one day when I hit record, I had the neck pillow on and I just didn\u2019t care. And it stuck.<\/p>\n

You\u2019ve appeared on TV, been featured in publications, and People magazine named you creator of the year for 2025. What has this sudden fame been like for you? <\/b><\/p>\n

It\u2019s surreal. I have not completely processed it yet. It\u2019s a lot to take in. I\u2019m just an everyday woman that decided to press record and accidentally started a movement. Impostor syndrome is there from time to time. But I\u2019m just trying my best to accept everything that\u2019s going on \u2014 and keep just being Melani.<\/p>\n

Has the overwhelming response from new members fueled your own resolve to be true to yourself or otherwise changed you personally?<\/b><\/p>\n

It absolutely has. It\u2019s the strength that the sisterhood gives me. Because I\u2019m very scared. You know, the book is coming out. And the tour is sold out in several cities. This is all within an eight-month span. It\u2019s a lot. But when everyone is saying they love you, and when you have a group of women that understands you and feels the way that you feel, absolutely, there\u2019s strength in numbers. Now I don\u2019t care about making mistakes. <\/p>\n

You live in a very male household. What do your sons and husband think of all this? <\/b><\/p>\n

Once I decided that I didn\u2019t care anymore, I just expected for them to kind of allow things just to go to hell around the house \u2014 but it was quite the opposite. All three of my sons and my husband, they\u2019re just very supportive. Because it was very sad for me. It was very hard to not want to watch movies or anything and just be by myself. But they rose to the occasion and they make sure things are done when they\u2019re home. They really show how they love their mom during this time.<\/p>\n

How can other men become allies to the women they love during the menopause transition? <\/b><\/p>\n

Just either get out of our way or, you know, just kind of read the room! Because we don\u2019t know who we are from day to day. We don\u2019t know what\u2019s gonna ache. We don\u2019t know what\u2019s going to hurt or what\u2019s going to itch or what\u2019s going to be dry. And if it\u2019s an off day, then darling, it\u2019s just an off day \u2014 and it\u2019s OK.<\/p>\n

What are some things that you do still care about greatly?<\/b><\/p>\n

I care about sisterhood. Because when women bind together, it\u2019s a game changer. We will move mountains. I just think that, in this world, there\u2019s so much pressure, so much overstimulation. So I care about being able to live authentically. To feel free. To be OK with who you are. Within WDNC<\/a>, the two things that I definitely want to convey that I care about is: that you are enough. And you are not alone. And of course I love my kids. I love my family immensely.<\/p>\n

Where does the<\/b> WDNC<\/b><\/a> go from here? What\u2019s the future?<\/b> <\/p>\n

Retreats. That is definitely a dream. To have a weekend retreat where women can come and the only thing that you need to bring is some clean underwear and some pantyliners! (You can\u2019t have a good, hard laugh or a good sneeze or a good cough without pissing your pants.) No makeup, no nothing, just come and be free. I want three different rooms. One will be the rage room and you\u2019ll go in there and just throw stuff around and scream and punch, whatever you want. Then a quiet room. No talking, no nothing, just silence. And the last room will be the \u201cLet that s\u2014 go room.\u201d That\u2019s where we\u2019ll put everything that we have in us, that we\u2019re holding onto that\u2019s keeping us from living a blissful and peaceful life, and write it down and let it go. I just want to touch sisters and let them know it is OK. We are OK. I have my s\u2014 I go through. You have your s\u2014 you go through. It\u2019s OK. Let\u2019s live.<\/p>\n