{"id":58371,"date":"2025-07-12T01:47:44","date_gmt":"2025-07-12T01:47:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/58371\/"},"modified":"2025-07-12T01:47:44","modified_gmt":"2025-07-12T01:47:44","slug":"new-yorks-sapphic-spaces-are-thriving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/58371\/","title":{"rendered":"New York\u2019s Sapphic Spaces Are Thriving"},"content":{"rendered":"

Around this time last summer, I was going through a long-term breakup and reading so many horror stories of dating<\/a> as a young woman that I wasn\u2019t sure when I\u2019d want to get back out there. As I sat across from a co-worker, sharing the story of the past few months of my life over a poke bowl, she invited me to join my first gay group chat. I thought about the tales of despair and ventures of celibacy<\/a> I\u2019d heard about and felt a glimmer of excitement: At least I would never have to date a man again.<\/p>\n

Within a few weeks, I\u2019d experienced a new side of the city I have called home for nearly a decade. I made a dozen new friends, joined a few more group chats, and even gained some\u00a0romantic prospects. Any fear I had about dating subsided with a general awe and respect for the community I was entering. Writer Peyton Dix told me she had a similar experience after moving to New York in her mid-20s. About six years ago, she attended her first underground Brooklyn party that focuses on queer POC. She was in heaven: \u201cI found God at Gush<\/a>,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Post-COVID, it felt like lesbian bars<\/a> were on the brink of extinction (save for a few notable names in New York like Cubbyhole, Henrietta Hudson, and Ginger\u2019s). But\ufeff <\/strong>over the past year, I\u2019ve felt the number of sapphic parties growing, along with the community\u2019s needs for these events. Some of the popular women-loving-women parties in New York are now offering specific atmospheres to cater to all types of queer women and nonbinary folks. Want to learn queer line dancing? Try Stud Country<\/a>. Need to drink some good wine with your community? Go to BABE<\/a> or Chardonngay<\/a>. Want to fit in with the TikTok lesbians<\/a>? Get ready to groove at Futch<\/a>. And if you\u2019re sober, try Boyfriend Co-Op<\/a>, a new queer-owned coffee shop and bar in Bushwick, which aims to be a hub for all the \u201cgay gals and their pals.\u201d<\/p>\n

The options are endless, and unlike most dating events in the straight world, these parties are met with enthusiasm. Sure, part of that may be because music is just better at gay parties, but it\u2019s also because the goals sapphic partygoers set for themselves <\/strong>tend to be more expansive\ufeff. Going out is not solely about hooking up but forming friendships and spending time in a space where no self-explanation is necessary. \u201cSomething that\u2019s really beautiful, and maybe sometimes toxic in queer spaces, is that even if you go out with the intention of wanting to hook up or date, bare minimum, you make a friend,\u201d says Dix. \u201cIt\u2019s never going to be a waste of a night.\u201d<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re feeling overwhelmed at your prospects, that\u2019s part of the pleasure. But I get it \u2014 it can be a lot to navigate, especially for first-timers. If I could tell my 22-year-old self, who dragged her friends to Brooklyn for a party at the Woods one random night, that popular straight bars on the East Side like Ray\u2019s and Joyface were hosting queer nights monthly now, I\u2019d have a hard time believing it. And while the sapphic scene in New York keeps growing, I figured I\u2019d attend some notable queer parties and spaces alongside my friends to break down what each place can offer for you, below, from some OG events to relaxed wine-focused gatherings and more curated parties.<\/p>\n

When Rene\u00e9 Rapp sings, \u201cMy ex walked in with my other ex with her,\u201d on \u201cLeave Me Alone,\u201d she\u2019s probably talking about parties at the Woods. The Williamsburg bar hosts a weekly party called MISSTER Wednesdays, and the event is notorious for forming a gnarly line out front by 10 p.m. It\u2019s the most well-known (and feared) lesbian party in the city with a median age of about 21. And while it\u2019s a messy, fun, gay experience everyone should have, at one point it was one of the few places in Brooklyn where queer women felt safe to gather.<\/p>\n

PAT is like a spiritual sister to the Woods in that it has been going on for nearly a decade. Indoor and outdoor spaces to gather are offered here, too.<\/p>\n

Much like the Woods, PAT is so foundational that it has become a regular stomping ground for an array of queer social groups, like Queer Feet, a run club co-founded by Jessie Wang, pictured here.<\/p>\n

Brooke, who runs the popular Instagram account @lesbianhands, is pictured here with her friends at PAT. A party as laid-back as PAT, where the median age skews older than at events like the ones hosted by the Woods, is harder to find lately. \u201cThis feels more queer and less lesbian,\u201d says Emma, a PAT regular. \u201cI can roll up in a T-shirt and no makeup.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n Photos by Chandler Ryan, Brooke LaMantia, Jessie Wang\n <\/p>\n

BABE, a monthly social event founded by Ren Peir and trent, is a combo of good wine, their BIPOC friends, and great gay fashion. \u201cIt isn\u2019t just like a sticky floor and gyrating bodies, you\u2019re actually able to connect with people,\u201d says Peir. <\/p>\n

\u201cI care about being in a place where I can sit and feel comfortable, and that\u2019s what brings me back,\u201d says Mercy, a BABE attendee who is pictured on the right alongside her friend Bethel.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe first time I was here, I took a video of the room and captioned it, \u2018Now this is where all the hot Black gay people are,\u2019 and it went viral. Now it sells out in five minutes, so I\u2019m sorry,\u201d says Shakivla, a regular BABE attendee pictured here with friends. <\/p>\n

\u201c<\/strong>We wanted to create a space that centered BIPOC queer individuals,\u201d says trent, a co-founder of BABE. \u201cWe\u2019ve seen a lot of cute connections happen. We\u2019ve seen professional connections happen, people making friends, people finding a little boo thing.\u201d<\/p>\n

Chardonngay started as a question \u2014 \u201cWould anyone want to get wine and hang out?\u201d \u2014 posted on queer dating app Lex by Megan Utter. \u201cI had 60 responses within the evening, so I planned a date at Frog wine bar in Bed-Stuy,\u201d she says.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u201cPeople are really desperate for human connection, and there\u2019s an added layer with queer spaces because we know there are so few of them,\u201d says Utter, pictured on the right. \u201cWith straight dating, there has always been speed dating and bars. But people want to get off the apps and be in person.\u201d <\/p>\n

Before every Chardonngay event, Megan Utter sends out a message to see who is coming alone so she can say hello to them and connect them with groups. Attendee Steph Jones took advantage of that message and, after an introduction from Utter, made a whole friend group from a wine night. <\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019ve had two success stories of people who have met for the first time at a Chardonngay event and ended up dating,\u201d Utter says. While she notes that\u2019s not exclusively the point of the event, who could be mad at that?<\/p>\n

\n Photos by Alex Joseph, Ashley Alder\n <\/p>\n

Kelly McLaughlin, Maya Partha, and Sophie Landeck met at a queer book club a few years before creating Kiss Your Friends, a gathering for people who want more of a curated experience. They offer a theatrical party with different themes every few months. \u201cIt\u2019s not really a book club so much now,\u201d they all say. \u201cIt\u2019s just our friend group.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOur motto is, \u2018Where lovers and friends become lovers and friends,\u2019 because we\u2019re all about community building, especially in queer spaces in a huge city where it can feel really lonely,\u201d says co-founder Maya Partha. \u201cWe want you to potentially find the love of your life. Or you find some amazing friends that you can continue to go to events like this with.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cAt our last party, there was one girl who was first to arrive and came in by herself. I perceived her as maybe being nervous, so I thought, Oh my gosh. I really hope they have a good time,\u201d says McLaughlin. \u201cThree hours later, she\u2019s in the same spot and she\u2019s got two new people around her. She may or may not have been kissing someone, and I was like, Wow, she had an amazing time. It\u2019s fun to get a peek into people\u2019s worlds and how they experience the event.\u201d <\/p>\n

Boyfriend Co-Op is worker owned and operates game nights, soup parties, handy happy hours, comedy shows, and more. \u201cWe made a joke in front of a group of lesbians, telling them that we were going to open a lesbian bar, and they all believed us. The next day, we were like, How crazy is this idea?,\u201d says co-founder Hena Mustafa. \u201cNow we have a pretty robust events program that sort of forces people to engage with each other, and it\u2019s a less intimidating way to socialize than parties.\u201d<\/p>\n

When some WLW parties feel like they\u2019re too much, you can try Exes<\/a>, a more refined party for lesbians founded by 33-year-old Mars Castro. For the first 11 months, Exes was a \u201cdiscreet\u201d word-of-mouth event. Some attendees felt that the limited capacity and places to sit made it easier to connect. \u201cIt\u2019s a space where I feel comfortable and one that\u2019s more elevated than shouting over music. That\u2019s not what I\u2019m into,\u201d says Castro, pictured left. <\/p>\n

To make the parties feel more sophisticated, Exes implements a recommended age limit. (Don\u2019t be scared, though. When I DM\u2019d them to ask if it\u2019s okay to come\u2014I\u2019m a fresh 26\u2014they happily accepted me). \u201cI wanted to create a space that had a little bit of everything,\u201d says Castro. \u201cA strong aesthetic that\u2019s sexy and grown and sapphic.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n Photos by Eva Woolridge, Evi Fokas, Kade Joy Photography, Alizayuh\n <\/p>\n