{"id":732403,"date":"2026-04-16T15:34:22","date_gmt":"2026-04-16T15:34:22","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/732403\/"},"modified":"2026-04-16T15:34:22","modified_gmt":"2026-04-16T15:34:22","slug":"the-loud-woman-in-the-gym-has-her-defenders","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/732403\/","title":{"rendered":"The loud woman in the gym has her defenders"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Dear Eric:<\/strong> I love your column. I read with interest the column regarding the person in the exercise class who counted and sang loudly and was distracting to the writer (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.mercurynews.com\/2026\/03\/12\/asking-eric-thomas-loud-woman-in-gym\/\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">\u201cThe Count\u2019s Enemy\u201d<\/a>).<\/p>\n<p>As a fitness instructor for more than 22 years, I always encourage my students to count aloud, as it helps with breathing during the class. You\u2019d be surprised how many students hold their breath while exercising.<\/p>\n<p>I even did contests to see which side of the room was louder. The participants were all energized and had fun in the classes.<\/p>\n<p>That being said, I can understand that if the class were more low-key and one person was being distracting to the others, that should be brought to the attention of the instructor. The instructor should be willing to make the class enjoyable for all the participants.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right\">\u2013 Counting On It<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Counting<\/strong>: As someone who used to frequently forget to breathe in workout classes, I appreciate your technique. And you make a good point \u2013 the counting may be beneficial to the counter or to the running of the class.<\/p>\n<p>The letter writer\u2019s best course of action is to talk to the instructor about the class environment. The writer may find that the instructor is also aware of the counting and doesn\u2019t see it as an impediment to a productive group workout.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Eric<\/strong>: In a recent column, <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mercurynews.com\/2026\/03\/16\/asking-eric-thomas-unequal-inheritance\/\" rel=\"nofollow noopener\" target=\"_blank\">\u201cConcerned Daughter\u201d<\/a> wrote that her 87-year-old mother has pancreatic cancer and has been experiencing severe brain fog, fatigue and memory issues, yet she still drives.<\/p>\n<p>A similar situation arose with my mother. I told her doctor that she was still driving. He ordered a driving assessment through a rehabilitation center.<\/p>\n<p>She did poorly on the driving test. They notified her insurance company, and her policy was canceled. I \u201cspirited away\u201d her keys.<\/p>\n<p>I believed that my mother\u2019s anger and\/or depression at losing her independence was insignificant as compared to another human being to be injured or killed. I believe that it was my moral and ethical responsibility to do so.<\/p>\n<p>I could never have forgiven myself for not trying, if I hadn\u2019t done all I could to prevent such an occurrence and the worst happened.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right\">\u2013 My Ethical Responsibility<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Responsibility:<\/strong> Thank you for your response and this suggestion. Many state DMVs make it possible for people to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.dmv.ca.gov\/portal\/driver-education-and-safety\/dmv-safety-guidelines-actions\/deteriorated-driving-skill\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow\">anonymously report drivers<\/a> who are impaired or may be a danger to themselves and others. That\u2019s another option for the letter writer.<\/p>\n<p>In my original response, I neglected to fully address the danger that the mother is likely posing by insisting on driving. While other aspects of the letter suggest that creating a boundary in the relationship will help everyone involved, it\u2019s imperative that the letter writer or someone close to her intervenes with her mother\u2019s driving right away.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Eric<\/strong>: I have blood drawn weekly. The last time, the needle prick stung a good bit, unlike all the others, and the next day my arm was black and blue.<\/p>\n<p>Next time when I go in, and my number is drawn, if I see that nurse, would it be acceptable to decline and say I\u2019ll wait for the next nurse?<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right\">\u2013 Bad Blood Draw<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Draw:<\/strong> That\u2019s acceptable \u2013 it\u2019s your body and you should feel comfortable with how it\u2019s treated.<\/p>\n<p>You might get better results, however, by calling ahead or raising your concern about the last draw you had before taking a number. It\u2019s possible it was a one-time fluke or that the nursing staff can make adjustments to ensure it doesn\u2019t happen again.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Eric:<\/strong> I am passionate about my political beliefs and display posters and other things showing it. Most people in my area believe the opposite.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m wary of offending anyone who comes into my home. I\u2019d like to avoid it, if I can. Is this what I should be doing? I know how touchy a subject it is these days.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right\">\u2013 Agree to Disagree<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dear Agree:<\/strong> At the risk of making the question too simple: Are your signs saying offensive or abusive things?<\/p>\n<p>You write that your passion for your beliefs is what motivates you to display the signs in the first place. So, I can\u2019t help but wonder if you think that the signs might offend a passerby as well as a visitor to your home.<\/p>\n<p>If the answer is yes, you might ask yourself what the distinction is between a passerby and a visitor, in your mind. And what you\u2019re trying to accomplish with your signage.<\/p>\n<p>Ultimately, your passions are part of who you are. You demonstrate that by hanging the signs in the window. If you stand behind what you believe and think that having a public conversation about it is important, then visitors have the choice to either engage or stay away.<\/p>\n<p>Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram @oureric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Dear Eric: I love your column. I read with interest the column regarding the person in the exercise&hellip;\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":251126,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":"","_share_on_mastodon":"0"},"categories":[38],"tags":[600,302906,67792,302908,101881,20503,22170,132965,76767,1198,13160,210,218840,90774,302907,27139,302909,80,67,132,68],"class_list":["post-732403","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-fitness","tag-advice","tag-annoying","tag-asking-eric","tag-blood-draw","tag-dmv","tag-driving","tag-elderly","tag-eric-thomas","tag-exercise-class","tag-fitness","tag-gym","tag-health","tag-impaired","tag-instructor","tag-loud","tag-offensive","tag-phlebotomist","tag-politics","tag-united-states","tag-unitedstates","tag-us"],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/116415121096116158","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/732403","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=732403"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/732403\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/251126"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=732403"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=732403"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=732403"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}