I\u2019ve just always wanted to play more baseball.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Maybe that sounds too simple, but it\u2019s true. I grew up in Rochester, New York, and my dad was a big Yankees fan. So we\u2019d watch them on TV a lot….. and pretty soon I was begging him to play catch, or to hit me ground balls, or to let me take a few swings. And honestly that\u2019s kind of the whole story. My dad got me started playing baseball, and I\u2019ve never really wanted to stop.<\/p>\n
I had this great group of friends \u2014 Alex Wasserman (A-Wass), Jesse Tesler, Alan (Moose) Vitale, Ryan Brown (Brownie), Nicky Golini, Trent Wasserman \u2014\u00a0and in the summers we\u2019d spend all day in A-Wass\u2019s backyard, playing wiffle ball. We\u2019d pick teams, then play it like normal baseball as best we could \u2026 but the rulebook was pretty loose. Sometimes we\u2019d do 3v3. Sometimes there were only two of us so we\u2019d have to do 1v1. But no matter what, we were out there. We made it work. And somehow every season always ended the same: with the World Series going seven games, and one of us at bat with the bases loaded and two outs in the bottom of the 9th.<\/p>\n
We all went to baseball camp together \u2014\u00a0and I remember this one day there were these huge thunderstorms, so camp got canceled. But there was no such thing as \u201ccanceling baseball\u201d for us. We literally just went right over to A-Wass\u2019s house and played wiffle ball all day in the pouring rain. We could barely see the ball, we were sliding headfirst into puddles, and by the end it was super late and we were covered in mud. I don\u2019t think any of our parents were too happy\u2026\u2026 but that\u2019s just kind of how it was back then. If there was baseball out there to be played, we were going to find a way to play it.<\/p>\n
I did pretty well in high school at Brighton, and in college at Virginia. Then in 2017 I got drafted by Cleveland in the fourth round. And while I wasn\u2019t some huge prospect, the minors were like heaven to me \u2026\u00a0because now my actual job was to do my favorite thing in the world: play baseball every day.<\/p>\n
When I got called up to the big leagues in 2021, it was this strange mix of feelings. It was a dream come true, for sure. But I was also out of the lineup a lot\u2026.. which meant that I was playing the least amount of baseball I ever had. And looking back, I don\u2019t think I handled it very maturely. \u201cGuy who sometimes plays baseball\u201d just wasn\u2019t a job I knew how to be good at.<\/p>\n
I got DFA\u2019d by the Guardians in September of 2022. Then I got claimed off waivers by the A\u2019s \u2026 but started off 1-for-18 at the plate (awesome first impression). I got DFA\u2019d by them in December of 2022, and then released that next March. It was tough, man.<\/p>\n
And that\u2019s kind of how I ended up in Toronto. Of the minor league deals I got offered as a free agent, a few were for more money. But Toronto was the only team that offered me regular at-bats. They promised I\u2019d be in the lineup \u201cfour or five times a week.\u201d That was all I needed to hear.<\/p>\n
Cole Burston\/Getty Images<\/p>\n
Even after signing with the Jays, though, I still hadn\u2019t totally figured out how to feel like myself again as a baseball player. I\u2019d just \u2026 gotten in this funk, I think, from feeling like I\u2019d let people down. And I was gripping so tight on this idea of who I thought I had to be. It was like the less I hit, the more pressure I put on myself \u2014 and then the more pressure I put on myself, the less I hit. So that first year in the Jays organization, with the Bisons, I started off slow.<\/p>\n
And of course right when I was hitting my worst, we had a road trip to Rochester to play the Red Wings\u00a0\u2014 my hometown team. So the series opener comes, I\u2019ve got a big group there to see me \u2026 and I go (a very rough-looking) 0-for-4. Then after the game, we all drive over to my grandmother\u2019s house for some family time. But the last thing I feel like doing at that point is spending time with anyone. I\u2019m just embarrassed, you know?? So we get to her house and I duck right to the basement. Eventually my mom comes down to see what\u2019s wrong. And man \u2026 I started crying so hard. \u201cWhy am I like this??\u201d I asked her. \u201cWhy do I suck?? Why can\u2019t I just enjoy baseball like I used to???\u201d<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll never forget my mom\u2019s response. She was like, \u201cErnie\u2026. let\u2019s be honest. You could be done playing baseball tomorrow. I mean, I hope not. It could happen, though, right?? So why not enjoy it??? Like, why spend this time being stressed? Spend it having fun.\u201d<\/p>\n
So that\u2019s what I did. For the rest of 2023 between Buffalo and Toronto, then with the big-league club full time in 2024 \u2014 I just tried to have fun. And once I was actually having fun again, and wasn\u2019t gripping things so tight, I think that\u2019s when I finally turned the corner as a baseball player. That\u2019s when I finally felt like, OK. Maybe I belong.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And then as far as last season goes\u2026..\u2026 it\u2019s hard to know where to begin.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s one thing I\u2019ve been thinking about: Our team had the same energy as the energy I felt when I was first falling in love with the game. Because we had this group of guys that played like kids who couldn\u2019t wait to get to the ballpark.<\/p>\n
A lot of people know this, but I lived in an apartment downtown last season that I rented with Davis\u00a0\u2014\u00a0and beyond having Davis around, the best part of living there was being so close to Rogers Centre. Walking to the stadium is a routine I picked up in Cleveland, but those walks were always pretty anonymous. (I wouldn\u2019t have recognized me either, with how I was playing.) And it was the same way in Toronto at first. Beginning of the season, I\u2019d be door-to-door in about 10 minutes,\u00a0without anyone saying hi. Just me, my pregame playlist and some fresh air.\u00a0<\/p>\n
But then as the season kept going, I started swinging the bat a little bit. And we started winning a lot. And pretty soon, more and more people started to recognize me. And then more and more people started to come up to me to chat, or to give me knucks, or to wish me good luck. And by the end of the season? I\u2019d even have people waiting outside my building on game day, or knowing where to catch me on my route. (Which sounds like it could\u2019ve gone bad, but it was always great.) And I think walking to those home games, and chatting with Jays fans … that\u2019s when I started to feel like something special might be happening. Like we were about to go on a run.<\/p>\n
So many moments stand out from that run.\u00a0<\/p>\n
There was the moment when George changed everything. ALCS, Game 7, bottom 7, down 3\u20131….. suddenly we started getting some traffic. And we were at home, so you could really sense the mood start to shift. Almost like it was in the air that we were gonna break through. I was sitting on the top railing of the dugout as this was happening \u2014 and for some reason I looked over and saw these kids in the stands, right by me, and they were on the edge of their seats. And I had no business doing this\u2026\u2026. but I started talking to them a little bit. Eventually, George got to the plate. And I don\u2019t even know what got into me, but right at that moment, I turned to these kids and was like, \u201cGUYS, CAN YOU FEEL IT? CAN YOU FEEL IT COMING?!\u201d And then George did what George did. I think they thought I could see the future.<\/p>\n
There was the moment when we bounced back in LA. Game 3 was such a gut punch. To grind for 18 innings, then have nothing to show for it \u2026 it\u2019s probably the most exhausted I\u2019ve ever been in my life. It was also probably the moment when our team\u2019s culture most paid off \u2014\u00a0that \u201ccan\u2019t wait to get to the ballpark\u201d energy. Because when we got there the next day, it was pretty telling. I made a point to be extra early, and to show up with some pep, just to set the tone because I figured guys would be dragging a bit. And of course what happened is\u2026\u2026. pretty much every guy on our team had the exact same idea. So at this moment when we were all at our most exhausted, we also ended up being our most dialed in. Nothing even had to be said \u2014\u00a0we were already thinking it: We can fold these next two games, and that\u2019s the season. Or we can beat them twice, and it\u2019s on.<\/p>\n
Cole Burston\/Getty Images<\/p>\n
And then finally, yeah\u2026\u2026\u2026… just like in the backyard at A-Wass\u2019s house. World Series, Game 7, tied up, bases loaded, two outs, bottom of the ninth.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Only this time the moment happened to me for real.<\/p>\n
What\u2019s funny is, I\u2019d actually already taken an at-bat with a chance to walk us off\u00a0in Game 6. And I had a lot in my head, obviously, so I\u2019d tried to keep things simple during that at-bat by telling myself, Alright \u2026 I\u2019m gonna get a fastball, and put my bat on it, and go the other way. And at least get Straw in from third. But then Glasnow executed on a really good pitch, kind of running in on my hands \u2014 and when I tried to get inside of it I popped one up. And I just remember walking back to the dugout, thinking, Man. Why\u2019d I try to go the other way??? That\u2019s not my game. If I just put my best swing on it, he doesn\u2019t beat me there.<\/p>\n
So then it\u2019s Game 7, another walkoff situation, and I come up against Yamamoto. First pitch \u2026 I have this feeling he\u2019s throwing me a big curveball. I figure they know I\u2019m on the fastball, always, so they\u2019re gonna try to get me out front, to roll one over. So in my head I\u2019m like, If it\u2019s first pitch curveball \u2026 no matter what \u2026 I\u2019m putting my best swing on it. Then he spins the curve right in there.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And when I tell you I put my best swing on that pitch? It\u2019s the absolute truth.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Off the bat, I thought it might be a home run, I really did. I\u2019ve hit that exact ball in our stadium before. It was earlier in the season, with the roof open, so the ball was carrying more \u2014 but I\u2019ve hit it, and it\u2019s been gone. And I hit this one.\u2026. and I see both those dudes running after it\u2026.. and I\u2019m like, Alright \u2026\u00a0that\u2019s off the wall,\u00a0at least!!! I JUST WALKED US OFF TO WIN THE WORLD SERIES.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And then they collide\u2026..\u2026 and I don\u2019t see the ball\u2026..\u2026.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And I\u2019m like, Oh my God. One of them caught it.<\/p>\n
Two innings later, it was over.<\/p>\n
Thomas Skrlj\/MLB Photos via Getty Images<\/p>\n
Back in November, so a couple of weeks after the Series ended, I played the MLB Open. It\u2019s this golf tournament that the league puts on, where they pair up past and present MLB players. And because of our Blue Jays connection, I got paired up with Joe Carter. Joe (I\u2019m sure I don\u2019t have to tell you this) is the man. Not only in what a great guy he is, but in how he carries himself. He just carries himself like a champion. Which shouldn\u2019t be a surprise, since he\u2019s one of two players in history to walk off the World Series on a homer. Anyway \u2026 we had an awesome time. And even though he\u2019s this all-time legend, and I\u2019m only a few seasons in, he treated me like his peer. He gave me some really nice words of encouragement, and told me that he\u2019s proud of how we battled all playoffs. And that we should be proud of ourselves, even though we lost.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll be honest\u2026\u2026. hearing those words from Joe was bittersweet. On one hand, he\u2019s right \u2014 we have a lot to be proud of. We came one game, one run, one pitch, one swing, all of these crazy tiny margins, away from winning the World Series. I don\u2019t think we fell short as much as it just wasn\u2019t our time. But on the other hand \u2026 it\u2019s hard not to think about. How for a few seconds, while that ball was in the air, and maybe on another night in that same ballpark \u2026 I almost was Joe. We almost were champions. And that\u2019s always gonna hurt.<\/p>\n
In the end, though, and hopefully this doesn\u2019t sound too corny, I think the stuff we have to be proud of from last season just completely dwarfs the stuff to feel hurt about. And the more time that passes, the more I understand that we still got to do something special: We got to take the game of baseball pretty much as far as you can take it. We got to go for as long as possible, until as late as possible, at the highest level possible. We got to play until there was no more baseball out there to be played.\u00a0<\/p>\n
And as heartbreaking as it was, I\u2019m still grateful for all of that.\u00a0<\/p>\n
I\u2019m also excited for us to try again this season. I know my career won\u2019t last forever \u2026 but I know the little kid in me would be proud of how I\u2019m smiling and having fun out there, the same way I did all those years ago in the backyard. I hope that comes through \u2014 the joy this game brings me every day. Baseball is my favorite thing in the world, man. And I\u2019m so honored I get to play it with the Jays and in Toronto.<\/p>\n
Thanks for reading.<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll see you guys Friday night.<\/p>\n
\u2014Ernie<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I\u2019ve just always wanted to play more baseball.\u00a0 Maybe that sounds too simple, but it\u2019s true. I grew…\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":755012,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[41],"tags":[1266,62,67,132,68],"class_list":{"0":"post-755011","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-mlb","8":"tag-mlb","9":"tag-sports","10":"tag-united-states","11":"tag-unitedstates","12":"tag-us"},"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"https:\/\/pubeurope.com\/@us\/116472660210065684","error":""},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/755011","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=755011"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/755011\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/755012"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=755011"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=755011"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.europesays.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=755011"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}