When I was in elementary school, I started watching old movies and became obsessed with stars from the 1930s and \u201940s. My classmates, however, did not share my enthusiasm: My Mae West imitations weren\u2019t exactly a hit on the playground.<\/p>\n
Instead, I was called a weirdo, which mortified me.<\/p>\n
But I\u2019ll be 60 next month, and as my birthday approaches, I\u2019m realizing that I\u2019m getting weirder by the day \u2014 and I don\u2019t mind at all. In fact, getting weirder without any embarrassment is one of the best parts of aging.<\/p>\n
I recently came across \u201cThe Smallest of Joys,\u201d the new book by Diane Shiffer, the 69-year-old TikTok star known as Your Chubby Vintage Nana. In it, she writes that weirdness isn\u2019t \u201ca flaw to fix, but a thread to follow\u201d back to \u201cyour truest self.\u201d<\/p>\n
So I decided to ask her and a few researchers about embracing our \u201cinner weirdo\u201d as we get older. While \u201cinner weirdo\u201d wasn\u2019t a term many of them used in their research (and they all cautioned that there\u2019s no universal experience of old age), they did give me a few ideas to support my theory.<\/p>\n
Becoming a Character<\/p>\n
Rebecca Schlegel, a professor of psychology and brain sciences at Texas A&M University who studies the \u201ctrue self,\u201d told me people can feel that they become more authentic over time. In her research<\/a>, participants aged 19 to 67 were asked to think about life as if it were a book and rate each \u201cchapter\u201d using an authenticity scale.<\/p>\n Dr. Schlegel and her co-author found that the subjects tended to believe they were getting closer to their true selves over the course of their lives. \u201cThey also think they\u2019re going to be even more authentic in the future,\u201d she added.<\/p>\n Often, when we\u2019re younger, \u201cwe\u2019re still trying to find ourselves,\u201d said Dr. Ebony Dix, a geriatric psychiatrist at the Yale School of Medicine. That journey can mean exploring different identities and spending energy trying to \u201cconvince everybody of the person we wish we were.\u201d<\/p>\n But older people have had many decades to get clear about who they are and who they aren\u2019t, said Rosanne Leipzig, a geriatrician at Mount Sinai Hospital and author of \u201cHonest Aging: An Insider\u2019s Guide to the Second Half of Life.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI love my current time of life,\u201d said Dr. Leipzig, who is 74. \u201cYou come into yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n Getting Comfortable With Who You Are<\/p>\n Research suggests we\u2019re also less likely to compare ourselves with others when we\u2019re later in life. As a result, \u201cyou\u2019re more comfortable and confident<\/a> with who you are and what you believe,\u201d Dr. Leipzig said.<\/p>\n I still have some years to go before I\u2019m full-on weird. Maybe in my later years, I won\u2019t walk around with a parrot on my shoulders, but I can be someone with colorful sayings and colorful glasses.<\/p>\n For now, I have no qualms about sharing that I have long \u201cconversations\u201d with my cat, George. I attend fungus festivals<\/a>. I regulate my nervous system by cruising the orderly aisles of office supply stores.<\/p>\n I also follow a group on Facebook called the Dull Men\u2019s Club. It boasts about two million members who enjoy \u201cordinary, everyday, run-of-the-mill things.\u201d (Women are welcome, too.)<\/p>\n One poster in the Facebook group showed three dollar bills with \u201csequential serial numbers\u201d that he had found in his wallet, while another displayed his \u201cpriceless collection of Allen keys.\u201d I have found my people.<\/p>\n If you have a weird streak, people might appreciate it more than you think. I was at a party recently and someone warned me that one new guest \u201cwas a little eccentric.\u201d Thank God, I thought.<\/p>\n Being weird also requires a bit of risk. You\u2019ll have to accept that not everyone is going to celebrate your particular brand of oddness, Shiffer told me. But the trade-off is being \u2014 finally! \u2014 at peace with your \u201cwhole, weird self,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n I still love Mae West, although I don\u2019t do imitations of her anymore. It\u2019s not that I feel self-conscious about it, either. With my decades of wisdom and experience, I can see now that those impressions were just pretty bad.<\/p>\n A.I. programs that record medical visits are becoming more popular. Experts have concerns.<\/p>\n More and more, doctors are turning to tools known as A.I. scribes that record conversations with their patients. But the programs come with privacy and accuracy concerns: Here is what patients should know.<\/p>\n